Thursday, February 19, 2009

where's the ahstray ?

there are girls i know who think having sex while drunk doesn't count and girls who think making out with someone else is cheating. so big tits Shitness calls me on valentine's day, i obviously in the spirit of detesting and not wanting to run into diabatically romantic couples (tho only for a day) was parked indoors (besides too much red around town, valentine's day is the new new years eve). she calls and is so depressed calls me over to talk. Right !

Pickup booze (for me, she has a wine celler at home), 2 packs of marlboro's, condoms and done i am there. Bigtits shitness has a way with hugs, she opens her door and throws a hug at me. First thought, thank god she's not wearing her shitty coconut shampoo. Then she goes on to talk for what seemed like till 2029 but was actually just 20 mins. The summary : she screamed at her boss so she will loose high profile big money job at mcfuckall inc, and secondly that her boyfriend isnt man enough to handle her and can;t lead her and doesn't turn her on and blah blah blah.

so i ask her how she came to such conclusions about her man and how she should give him one last chance , so she explained. Many months ago she had made out with me in some club for like 1 hour. it was like , make out make out drink beer drink beer make out slurrrp sip sip. so she went and told her boyfriend that she had cheated on him. and he did nothing about it. He merely accepted her back as if nothing had happenned. so she is complaining that he didn;t dump her or went out and fucked someone else himself. Right !!! if any of you nice boy cunts are reading this mark this as a fucking epiphany.

instead he takes her on a valentimne's date, buys her flowers dinner drinks. they go to his house she drinks his expensive wine , gives him a peck on the cheek while he fills her glass and tries to sleep with her. in the end she comes home calls a jackass like me to fuck her over. i love how women think.

so anyways, she is a hot girl i have a dick. Bang. Take her, see wall, throw her on wall, kiss, kiss over, strip clothes kiss etc etc etc. some half hour forty mins down the line my fingers (by autopilot of course) find their way to her pussy. i give her the bird, my fav finger to fingerbang, nice wet pussy but she goes "you're hurting me". Ok no problem index finger. "you're hurting me" WTF. Ring finger and again. hurting her ? wtf are you a fucking squirrel pussy. then i resort to something i have never ever done to a girl. Fingerbang her with the pinky finger. and still it hurts. and then it strikes me ...

"are you a virgin ?" i ask and Bingo She is !! WTF now i never fuck virgins. After a few bad bad experiences i have resolved never to fuck virgins. besides i don't really qualify as the ideal guy to take someone's virginity away (esp if they cherished it so much). So then she starts telling me how this felt right and unlike anytime else and how she wants to so do it blah blah. which also proves a point that once a woman wants to fuck or wants to love a man she will find ways to convince you and/or herself. And mind you this time i am horny as fuck my dick could pierce through walls, sheets of metal, Area 51 anything. But rules are rules.

You know these are the times for which god made blowjob. it struck me like a bolt of lightening. But still it breaks my heart to carefully lead a woman till this stage and not complete the job once the moment's ripe, it also astonished me to see a 26 year old grown up virgin woman. eventful night nonetheless. A great blowjob ? not really.

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If a very close friend of yours is having an extra marital affair with a very hot girl who hits on you consistently .. what do the rules say about sleeping with her ?

3 comments:

moonstruck maniac said...

hahaha
this is some funny shit bro! bigtits shitness, talk until 2029... hahaha

as for your question, I reckon there are no such rules that apply so I'd say this mate - Bang her!

catmiester said...

U asking for assurance, dat u're doing the right thing?! :P

Buster... when 1/2 the world is fucking each other... how does it matter, if u fuck ure friend's extra marital chikita!

n ... i find it difficult to believe that this 26 yr old is a virgin... she's gasing!! for sure!! She just wanted u to coax her into it

Red said...

lol....completely agree with the above comment..nice post