Saturday, November 25, 2006

of virgin girls and wussy boys

long legs and stockings. I love those. That combined with the fact that it was a cold fucking morning preceded by a sleepless drunk night fueled by loud music, ensured that she appeared a lot more prettier than she was. That can be forgiven still. But the fact that she was a dumb stupid girl with no opinion of her own was enough in itself to ensure that i held no interest in her whatsoever after 10 mins of 'conversation'. And to think we had to spend the next 24 hours together as a part of the traveling that our respective groups were doing , to the same destination. she met me she disappointed me but her friend was cute.

the trip was over the fun was had and It had already been a month since our trip when somehow i thought of her friend one night. I was single as always and i still hadn't been found the love of my life (though we crossed each other's paths at some event, something we didn't discover till later)
Anyways the only information i had about that cute girl was the email address of the stockings girl, lets call her wannabeartist girl. so i emailed wannabeartist girl, we talked, became sort of 'pals' before i figured out that her friend moved to some other state. Well being the passionate Take-life-with-both-breasts guy that i am , i moved on and went out and met some other girls. Now what i didn't know what that behind my back a 'friend' of mine had fancy feelings for wannabeartist and had started pursuing her. Let's call him richjackass ! Now mind you, pursuing means different things to different people. This guy has been quite a mellow non-smart types whose entire world revolves around the expensive perfumes he keeps in his maple wood closet and the exquisite MP3 player in his car. So he started off by emailing her, then texting her and finally calling her after about a month of talking to her. From the place where she was studying to the place where she went to shop he was everywhere and always ready to drive her around etc.

wannabeartist was a virgin girl in every way. 22 and no boyfriend yet. No sex no lip-locking no one sang the love songs for her. not that she is ugly. I would say she is socially good looking. she was enjoying this attention from richjackass and made it extra tough on him. He kept following her around for about 8-10 months like this but to no avail. He asked me my advice on this mater of ultimate concern and i told him to ignore her and pull a 'taming of the shrew' while he goes and meets some other girls too. He executed my instructions by meeting her the next day and taking her and her friends out to a movie. So there... so after all this struggle it boiled down to this one particular night. when i was visiting for a few days and he took to me to one of those 'hip parties'. she was going to be there. He was going to ask her out. Or ask him to be his girlfriend or ask her to marry him. Same thing i guess. I assumed that he had been with her for a couple of month and they had long passionate late night conversations and now their passion was so explosive that they had to fall in love eventually. Well little did i know what the true story was.

there we are in the parking lot of the huge mansion where this party is to be. I learned 30 minutes after reaching there that we did not have the invites to the party. When he said that she would be meeting him, it meant that she would meet her in the parking lot or something ! well great !! thank god i carried a hip flask ! it was a rather cold rainy september night ! So there we are an hour went by and still she isn't coming out he keeps calling her and i am wondering why the fuck did i ever come here ? the grass below is wet so is everything else and how long can you sit inside a car for. So after a long wait she comes out to meet him. i heave a sigh of relief. she announces that she has 5 minutes. He starts urging her to stay longer and she keeps saying no. It was ridiculously funny from where i was sitting. Here i am sitting on the car desperately waiting for the part where he confesses his undying devotion for her and she kisses him so we can go get some beer and there they are fighting over how she should stay longer. but for what ? so this is going on and it's already 15 minutes since she has been here. the tension is mounting and there ain't a light cloud in the sky.

finally he tells wannabeartist that he loves her and it would be so great and she would be so kind so as to go out with him and be his girlfriend and blah blah. Whatever harry-met-sally-ness or french-kiss chemistry i had envisioned wasn't present ,instead before my eyes was something more like a bollywood scene where the heroin turns down the villain coz she is madly in love with the hero. So there, she pretty much told him to piss off in as nice a words as she could. He didn't give up, some brilliant spark in his head made him go down on his knees in the wet grass and the words still echo in my head sometimes when it's a full moon night or when i see full house reruns. "I beg you to please love me". that right there was the most ridiculous thing i had ever seen (but it was still no.2 in my list of ridiculously wussy moments i have been a witness to, No.1 of course being the richboringguy's Digital diary') she heard his 'magic' words and her face was still stone. She told him to stop the drama and get up on his knees as it was ridiculous. I am not sure what sort of a nuclear fission thingy happened inside him that he took his cellphone and threw it at a wall nearby. Kapow smash !!

She was shocked. He was angry. I could barely bury the sparks initiating a full scale laughter. why would he throw the cellphone at the wall. Is it some secret way of showing your affection that i don't know about ? or maybe it was under 30 day return warranty ? or maybe he really hated that cellphone ? or probably.. maybe it was her cellphone ? well anyways... as i picked up the pieces of his torn cellphone ( i knew he was too proud to pick it up himself and smart enough to not leave it there) i hear her telling him that they should meet someday for lunch and discuss this. She understood how he felt but she had a party to go back to. Seeing that he had gained some momentum (maybe coz of the cellphone event) he told her that he wanted the answer right now (wat the fuck ? is this a bleddy exam?). She said no and walked away. so what does our jackass do ? he got in his car and started driving alongside her, telling her to get inside the car. Of course she would not and she promptly went inside that huge mansion she was partying at. Our jackass decided to follow her in and tells the security guard to open the big iron gate so his car can go in. the guard says no. Jackass argues with the guard, the guard pulls out his gun and jackass drives his ass away. Oh yeah all this while i was still in the parking lot watching all this and enjoying my benson hedges. After-all i had to let that huge gust of laughter out of my system.

that was a day and now is today. Does anyone even want to know what happened with that couple after-all ? does anyone want to take a guess ?


7 comments:

simmi said...

I do.

i know guys like that and they scare the shit out of me...what a looser.

waiting in great anticipation.

jairaj said...

naa, go ahead dude and complete it all... :)

Anonymous said...

lol. YOU were the hero and all this while she was trying to get YOU jealous by hangin out with your pal. am i right or wat?!

InExile said...

simmi, i absolutely know what u mean ! but at least its funny :P

cherie ! well i shall write more about this ! :)

intimate, to this day i havent understood the cellphone thing.. i was kinda hoping someone here might provide a diffrent insight

jerrt, smart move eh ! ;)

eve, no baby ! in fact she hates me and cant stand my guts !! so you be a tad off target :)

Anonymous said...

She said no? How strange! Which girl wouldn't want to be with a guy who begs & pleads & then slams things in anger, still doesn't take no for an answer and then stalks the crap out of one...

He sounds like a real keeper to me!

InExile said...

ha ha ha
well melody, the wannabeartist girl thought so too ! ;)

hedonistic hobo said...

you have strange friends. what's up in your life though?