Born to be a wuss : part 1
I have known richboringguy for many many years now. He's a typical brat Rich show off dumb conventional person. Many many years ago richboringguy had a girlfriend, superbitch. and There came a time when their relationship hit an all time low and it came to the point of an inevitable breakup especially since she was soon going to get engaged to some guy. richboringguy didn't give up his hopes, in an extremely filmy manner he wanted to go and win the girl back before she got married. and guess what action did he take to get her back ? He told inexile to call her up and convince her to love richboringguy. Inexile , being the good team player called the superbitch and superbitch calmly in her shitty voice explained how she just couldn't love richboringguy anymore and that inexile should explain it to richboringguy. It was a calm conversation and inexile understood that richboringguy's chumpyness had driven her away.
Richboringguy didn't take this news very cleverly and he decided that he is going to show up at her work place and make that one last effort to get her back. So here we are on a sunny late winter day and he's taking inexile out shopping to buy a gift for her. somehow he is under the impression that he can gift her something and bingo ! she will feel love like never before. Eventually and don't ask me how, richboringguy , some how according to some torn twisted logic figured out that he is going to gift that woman a 'digital diary'. pause . yes go ahead finish that laugh. I was shocked to hear that idea, i tried to argue against it offered to write some poetry for him instead but NO, he was sure that this digital diary is the key to her heart. Inexile didn't want to miss the fun of it all so he accompanied Richboringguy along on the mission.
so here they are sitting outside her office for 20 minutes or so, wiaitng for her to come out.
Richboringguy: i am not sure if this is her office ?
Inexile : (priceless wat the fuck look on his face !)
SO eventually Richboringguy decides that we will go wait close to her house coz she will be home soon. So there we are one right turn before her house, waiting for her car to drive in. Richboringguy is on the road waiting for her car so he can stop her. Inexile is enjoying a very nice view of the scene of crime and some chips and cola he brought along. (yes i actually did bring it along). so finally the superbitch turns up , Richboringguy flags her to a stop. Superbitch has a disgusted look on her face as soon as she sees Richboringguy. He is grinning mad like a clown tripping on acid sitting in Disneyland Paris. They talk. By they talk i mean he talks and she looks everywhere else. Eventually he gives her the gift wrapped thing. she refuses it and refuses to even open and see what it is. Richboringguy isn't a wussy who will take no for an answer so he insists that she see it. She still says no. So richboringguy unwraps it himself and show the single most important gift which captures all the feelings, the thoughts the emotions he has for the superbitch which he has for long left locked up deep down in the bowels of his empty soul: The fucking digital diary ! She was silent. I think she couldn't make out if it was a joke or if he was serious. I think that gift and that particular moment cemented it for her. The fact that he wasn't the dick in the shining armour that she desired. He wasn't to be her one and only. This last move had done it. The emotions of the moment were such that , whether disgusted or pissed she took the digital diary out of his hand and smashed it on the road. It wasn't the pieces of plastic and chip from the digital diary that lay scattered on the tarmac. these were the pieces of his heart. One for each day he had been a wuss a slave to her wishes.
My packed of chips finished (i still remember what flavor) and she walked away. He came back sat in the car, i didn't know what to say. I felt bad too.. tho very little. He got what he deserved. and then he said the line of the year.
richboringguy : you think i should go pick up the pieces and maybe the shop guy will replace it for me ?
I didn't know what to say. any hopes that i was harboring of him being a little more sensible and learning something from this incident were shattered. Well this was the end of superbitch. Or so i thought... coz a few years later Richboringguy called me to a 'hip' 'club' in his city. Took me a bit to find the 'club' and techno isnt my kinda music but my evening took an even awfully twisty turn when i saw the superbitch, now married , sitting right next to Richboringguy, talking as if nothing had happened over these years.
richboringguy : (smiling mad) hey inexile you remember superbitch ?
superbitch : hi !
inexile : you are such a fucking bitch !
superbitch : (acts like she is hurt)
richboringguy : If you say that again i am going to be pissed !! show respect !
Richboringguy had never spoken to inexile like this. He was supposed to be a friend. and now he was ready to fight with inexile over a bitch who walked in high heels all over his heart and treated him like shit...
..... to be continued... (too tired to type)
Richboringguy didn't take this news very cleverly and he decided that he is going to show up at her work place and make that one last effort to get her back. So here we are on a sunny late winter day and he's taking inexile out shopping to buy a gift for her. somehow he is under the impression that he can gift her something and bingo ! she will feel love like never before. Eventually and don't ask me how, richboringguy , some how according to some torn twisted logic figured out that he is going to gift that woman a 'digital diary'. pause . yes go ahead finish that laugh. I was shocked to hear that idea, i tried to argue against it offered to write some poetry for him instead but NO, he was sure that this digital diary is the key to her heart. Inexile didn't want to miss the fun of it all so he accompanied Richboringguy along on the mission.
so here they are sitting outside her office for 20 minutes or so, wiaitng for her to come out.
Richboringguy: i am not sure if this is her office ?
Inexile : (priceless wat the fuck look on his face !)
SO eventually Richboringguy decides that we will go wait close to her house coz she will be home soon. So there we are one right turn before her house, waiting for her car to drive in. Richboringguy is on the road waiting for her car so he can stop her. Inexile is enjoying a very nice view of the scene of crime and some chips and cola he brought along. (yes i actually did bring it along). so finally the superbitch turns up , Richboringguy flags her to a stop. Superbitch has a disgusted look on her face as soon as she sees Richboringguy. He is grinning mad like a clown tripping on acid sitting in Disneyland Paris. They talk. By they talk i mean he talks and she looks everywhere else. Eventually he gives her the gift wrapped thing. she refuses it and refuses to even open and see what it is. Richboringguy isn't a wussy who will take no for an answer so he insists that she see it. She still says no. So richboringguy unwraps it himself and show the single most important gift which captures all the feelings, the thoughts the emotions he has for the superbitch which he has for long left locked up deep down in the bowels of his empty soul: The fucking digital diary ! She was silent. I think she couldn't make out if it was a joke or if he was serious. I think that gift and that particular moment cemented it for her. The fact that he wasn't the dick in the shining armour that she desired. He wasn't to be her one and only. This last move had done it. The emotions of the moment were such that , whether disgusted or pissed she took the digital diary out of his hand and smashed it on the road. It wasn't the pieces of plastic and chip from the digital diary that lay scattered on the tarmac. these were the pieces of his heart. One for each day he had been a wuss a slave to her wishes.
My packed of chips finished (i still remember what flavor) and she walked away. He came back sat in the car, i didn't know what to say. I felt bad too.. tho very little. He got what he deserved. and then he said the line of the year.
richboringguy : you think i should go pick up the pieces and maybe the shop guy will replace it for me ?
I didn't know what to say. any hopes that i was harboring of him being a little more sensible and learning something from this incident were shattered. Well this was the end of superbitch. Or so i thought... coz a few years later Richboringguy called me to a 'hip' 'club' in his city. Took me a bit to find the 'club' and techno isnt my kinda music but my evening took an even awfully twisty turn when i saw the superbitch, now married , sitting right next to Richboringguy, talking as if nothing had happened over these years.
richboringguy : (smiling mad) hey inexile you remember superbitch ?
superbitch : hi !
inexile : you are such a fucking bitch !
superbitch : (acts like she is hurt)
richboringguy : If you say that again i am going to be pissed !! show respect !
Richboringguy had never spoken to inexile like this. He was supposed to be a friend. and now he was ready to fight with inexile over a bitch who walked in high heels all over his heart and treated him like shit...
..... to be continued... (too tired to type)
7 comments:
"phir kya hua?"
(takes popcorns, hitches skirt up, crosses legs and sits down...to read)
ha ha patience my child !
fuck dude, why don't you tell the famous Hansel and Gretel tale again. superboring richdude and superbitch, will be fairytales I can tell you one day. where do you pick these friends up?
@ Jerry = hhahahaha
GOOD question.
Where Serial Fucker? where? where? where?
i need to know how this story ends. and what superbitch was doing back with richboringguy. find me a richboringguy i'll manage to keep myself amused......*pause*.......with what? digital diaries!? HAHAHAHAHAHA
jerry & eve, it's fate baby !! pure pure fate !!
hedo, i still cant get over this story btw ...stil cant fig out wtf was so damn cool abt that digital diary .... !!
dude! lemme first acknowledge in all honesty that u are an awesomely cool and generously gifted bloke. no wonder u've got the chicks cooing on ur lyrics!
since the time i have started reading this blog (which was like a couple of hours ago), i have been hooked. partly coz i have been thru this "inexile" phase of my life (and had my decent share of chicks that one doesnt get coz they are drunk but cause one plays the game and its fun!) i could relate to what u are going thru (ya.. with the hidden-and-fast eroding-genuine-true-lover mindset as well)
however, as opposed to what u may have concluded (temporarily im sure) there is some semblance of peaceful and happy relatively-long-term lovelife possible... i am living it!
when u have been with enough wrong ones.. it takes a flash to figure who the right one for u is.. and yes, there is at least one for all.
now for the main thing. i was not really planning to comment...but this was one hell of a fuckin hilarious post!!! and i feel obliged to appreciate it publicly!!
cheers and god bless :)
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