Monday evening, coffee shop, ice cream, a delayed US airways flight and tags..
Jerry, the one guy in delhi who i'd like to meet for beer and discuss rock n roll, tagged me. But i have no fucking clue what he means by my terrible truths. I sudddenly feel bad about my life. Fuck i haven't hidden any bodies in the backyard, peed in the church or sexually molested any kids.. till i realised that i don't really need to have the cliche'd terrible truths. So let's see what are the terrible most things about me (from a regular motherfucker's point of view of course.)
>>> So many people love the idea of sunshine crawling in through the window to wake them up but i Can't stand light when i am sleeping. I need pitch darkness. the whole idea of draw the curtains in the morning and wake me up with a kiss doesn't go down too well. i need darkness. people who know me closely often chuckle at new ways i device to block any light. And while we are at it, i just can't seem to sleep. And if i sleep i can't seem to wake up. and for some fucking stupid reasons ALL of my fucking girlfriends had the habit of patting my head when i am asleep. Which is bad because i will wake up in an instant if i hear a pin drop or feel a finger layed on me and get in my favorite martial art position.
>>> I'd rather kiss my woman than get a blowjob (which is very bad according to the book of how to be mas-kyun-lin). As gay as it sounds there's something in a kiss or holding someone that isn't in a blowjob (aren't i the genius). Most girls don't know how to give blow/hand/foot jobs anyways. But kisses are like poetry. i also hate the idea of labelling your relationship or whatever it is. i also hate that people always remember how it ended. i'd rather remember the good times. i don't want to classify my "relationship". I just want to be in the moment. Literally in the fucking moment. i don;t want to "go on dates" or fix a "movie date" for two weeks after or plan my whole fucking sexual life. Two people of the opposite sex who like each other are capable of much more than a fucking stupid relationshhip no matter how "harry met sally" or committed it is. that's all i am interested in, no more average encounters..
>>> i form my opinion of people within minutes of a first meeting. i get this vibe and i always have my ways of listening to people and deriving meaning out of it. And it has rarely ever been wrong in which case i most often become good pals with those people. So it's a win win. Of course i am constantly condemned for this bastardly condescneding act of mine and labeled a judgemental biased racist person, which is kind of ironic. Well if i had a dollar for every time my opinion about somebody was ignored about my friends and they got fucked. i didn't even fel like saying "i told you so". It's freakishly funny how many times i am right..
>>> i dislike most people. i dislike dumb, superficial (the social kisses kinds), incomepetent, orthodox, serious, mama's boys etc. etc. etc. I always expect people esp. the ones who work with me or are very close to me to be extremely smart and always be their personal/proff best ( not towards me but towards their life/jobs) and when they fail i just rip them apart. not everyone likes it. But there's nothing i hate more than people who are stupid and superficial and want to make everyone happy and will never admit they don't know something. And yeah i also hate the ones who have the utter need to have 900 friends on their orkut/myspace/facebook and to have their phone ringing every 15 minutes and go out every night esp. saturday. the utter social cosmetic spiders. So yeah fuck all these people. Oh yeah i hate psuedo people too. who listen to bob dylan just coz' some stupid book told them to... oh yeah i also can't stand people with a very very lame sense of humor and who make cliched jokes.. and also the people who ask me "how are you" everyday... WTF could change in a day. i usually tackle all these people with utter sarcasm which in most cases is very funny for those who can understand it, but these fuckers just don't get it...
so i hate most people, i am judgmental about new ones i meet, i get pissed in an instant only to calm down in 500th's of a second to kiss somebody as my other hand draws the curtains to stop any light.. Can you imagine how perfect my life is without the unneeded people, bad blowjobs and ultra violet rays..
>>> So many people love the idea of sunshine crawling in through the window to wake them up but i Can't stand light when i am sleeping. I need pitch darkness. the whole idea of draw the curtains in the morning and wake me up with a kiss doesn't go down too well. i need darkness. people who know me closely often chuckle at new ways i device to block any light. And while we are at it, i just can't seem to sleep. And if i sleep i can't seem to wake up. and for some fucking stupid reasons ALL of my fucking girlfriends had the habit of patting my head when i am asleep. Which is bad because i will wake up in an instant if i hear a pin drop or feel a finger layed on me and get in my favorite martial art position.
>>> I'd rather kiss my woman than get a blowjob (which is very bad according to the book of how to be mas-kyun-lin). As gay as it sounds there's something in a kiss or holding someone that isn't in a blowjob (aren't i the genius). Most girls don't know how to give blow/hand/foot jobs anyways. But kisses are like poetry. i also hate the idea of labelling your relationship or whatever it is. i also hate that people always remember how it ended. i'd rather remember the good times. i don't want to classify my "relationship". I just want to be in the moment. Literally in the fucking moment. i don;t want to "go on dates" or fix a "movie date" for two weeks after or plan my whole fucking sexual life. Two people of the opposite sex who like each other are capable of much more than a fucking stupid relationshhip no matter how "harry met sally" or committed it is. that's all i am interested in, no more average encounters..
>>> i form my opinion of people within minutes of a first meeting. i get this vibe and i always have my ways of listening to people and deriving meaning out of it. And it has rarely ever been wrong in which case i most often become good pals with those people. So it's a win win. Of course i am constantly condemned for this bastardly condescneding act of mine and labeled a judgemental biased racist person, which is kind of ironic. Well if i had a dollar for every time my opinion about somebody was ignored about my friends and they got fucked. i didn't even fel like saying "i told you so". It's freakishly funny how many times i am right..
>>> i dislike most people. i dislike dumb, superficial (the social kisses kinds), incomepetent, orthodox, serious, mama's boys etc. etc. etc. I always expect people esp. the ones who work with me or are very close to me to be extremely smart and always be their personal/proff best ( not towards me but towards their life/jobs) and when they fail i just rip them apart. not everyone likes it. But there's nothing i hate more than people who are stupid and superficial and want to make everyone happy and will never admit they don't know something. And yeah i also hate the ones who have the utter need to have 900 friends on their orkut/myspace/facebook and to have their phone ringing every 15 minutes and go out every night esp. saturday. the utter social cosmetic spiders. So yeah fuck all these people. Oh yeah i hate psuedo people too. who listen to bob dylan just coz' some stupid book told them to... oh yeah i also can't stand people with a very very lame sense of humor and who make cliched jokes.. and also the people who ask me "how are you" everyday... WTF could change in a day. i usually tackle all these people with utter sarcasm which in most cases is very funny for those who can understand it, but these fuckers just don't get it...
so i hate most people, i am judgmental about new ones i meet, i get pissed in an instant only to calm down in 500th's of a second to kiss somebody as my other hand draws the curtains to stop any light.. Can you imagine how perfect my life is without the unneeded people, bad blowjobs and ultra violet rays..
16 comments:
Dude you should have written mine, this was way too cool. Cheers, and the beers on me dude!
Ha ha ha..This is insane...I read yours just now and ... and.. dunno..weird.
thank you jerry, thou are kind !
littleone, it's more like WTF !
Amen brother, on all counts!!
Cheers...
Half a century and many classics later, someone buys Dylan after reading a book. I would call him an IDIOT, not a psuedo.
A psudeo is one who gets into Iggy Pop after reading that the last record Ian Curtis heard before killing himself was The Idiot.
dude, amen to you too ! ;)
whitelight, now you are just being a geek :P
the idiot is a brilliant book nonetheless
I'm talking about The Idiot, the album by Iggy Pop. Not the book.
whitey, i know ! have you heard any music which came after 1978 ? just curious !
Yeah. Some of my favourite albums were made years after 1978.
Different Class by Pulp for example.
Do you really exist? But never mind, I was only reading the second point.
whitey, hmmmmmersssssssssssszzzzzzzzzz i should rephrase that question :P
ideasmith,well i don;t i am actually programmed by eveil lord xenu to invent lies for the evolution of mankind into a future cyborg form or something..
I'd say u're some kinda weird reflection of mine in the mirror! (I got nothing to say about the blow-jobs ofcourse!)
Until now i loved your writing - now i think that i love you.
People are a problem.
ruchika, i get that a lot :P
amir, thanks man, first time a guy ever said i love you to me .. oh wait .. there was that one time.... and that other time... :P
ruchika, i get that a lot :P
amir, thanks man, first time a guy ever said i love you to me .. oh wait .. there was that one time.... and that other time... :P
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