i just can't wait for my ten year reunion ...
an old school time friend managed to bump into me and we ended up going brunching. He's your typical guy. Owns big business , drives a long car and eats only at posh hotels. So that's what we ended up doing, going to one of the 'swanky' ristorante's in town. There he is in his swanky suite and swanky shoes and there i am with long hair and a fab-India kurta !
Me: so watsup ?
richfatmofo : life's good , everything is good !
Me : right !! ok ! nice !!
richfatmofo : you tell me what's happening at your end ?
me: (my end ? no sorry i ain't into anal sex) way too much to keep track of !!
richfatmofo : that's nice !! i hope you are enjoying life !!
me : depends on what your definition of "enjoying life" is !!
richfatmofo : are you in touch with anyone from school ?
me : No !!
richfatmofo : how come ?? i am in touch with this and this and that and them and their s... (names 40 names)
me : well good for you i guess !!
<10> minutes pass by>
2 more minutes pass...
me : (shit shit shit shit shit )
richfatmofo : oh by the way , i am getting married !!
me : what ?? really ???
richfatmofo : (gleaming and proud ) yes !! it's great isn't it ?
me : i mean dude you are so fucked !! but well maybe for you it works !!
richfatmofo : what do you mean ?
me : i mean it's just me don't bother ! i am sure you are gonna love it !
richfatmofo : No No you were saying something ?
me : well it's just me man ! i mean sharing a room with someone,waking up next to her and the sex !! i mean if there is no chemistry first time around . your whole life is ruined !
richfatmofo : (smile gone away) Well ... hmm .... maybe .. i guess... you know i am a virgin !!
me : WHAT ??? dude you are like a few years elder to me ! how could you be a virgin ? there has to be somebody you must've fucked !
richfatmofo : well i wanted to save myself for my wife !!
me : (trying so hard to control laughter ) Right !!
richfatmofo : i mean i had chances ! i went to Calcutta and spend time with a hooker ! even when i went to Germany i hired an escort !!
me : so what did you do with them ???
richfatmofo : well i just kinda held her hand and walked around in a park !! and in Germany i just took her out to dinner and talked to her !!
me : and if i recall ! weren't you gay in school ?
richfatmofo : yes i was ! but ever since XXX broke my heart i haven't had the guts to get a boyfriend ! plus the social pressure you know ! so I'd rather get married to someone my parents like !
me : (orders a double JD on the rocks with a WTF look on his face)
richfatmofo : i guess he went back to being straight ! but i am still gay !! and now i am nervous about having sex with my 'to be'!
me : to be ? hmm ??
richfatmofo : you know , my wife to be !! i lovingly like to call her 'to be' !
me : so lemme get this right you are a gay guy whose shit scared of having sex with his 'to be' wife who is a girl you parents chose for you ?
richfatmofo : yes ! you have any advice ?
me : dude never mind !! you are way beyond the point of advice !! well i just hope that you have at some point in your life seen naked pictures of women so that you can at least figure out what's where !!
---
Me: so watsup ?
richfatmofo : life's good , everything is good !
Me : right !! ok ! nice !!
richfatmofo : you tell me what's happening at your end ?
me: (my end ? no sorry i ain't into anal sex) way too much to keep track of !!
richfatmofo : that's nice !! i hope you are enjoying life !!
me : depends on what your definition of "enjoying life" is !!
richfatmofo :
me : No !!
richfatmofo : how come ?? i am in touch with this and this and that and them and their s... (names 40 names)
me : well good for you i guess !!
<10> minutes pass by>
2 more minutes pass...
me : (shit shit shit shit shit )
richfatmofo : oh by the way , i am getting married !!
me : what ?? really ???
richfatmofo : (gleaming and proud ) yes !! it's great isn't it ?
me : i mean dude you are so fucked !! but well maybe for you it works !!
richfatmofo : what do you mean ?
me : i mean it's just me don't bother ! i am sure you are gonna love it !
richfatmofo : No No you were saying something ?
me : well it's just me man ! i mean sharing a room with someone,waking up next to her and the sex !! i mean if there is no chemistry first time around . your whole life is ruined !
richfatmofo : (smile gone away) Well ... hmm .... maybe .. i guess... you know i am a virgin !!
me : WHAT ??? dude you are like a few years elder to me ! how could you be a virgin ? there has to be somebody you must've fucked !
richfatmofo : well i wanted to save myself for my wife !!
me : (trying so hard to control laughter ) Right !!
richfatmofo : i mean i had chances ! i went to Calcutta and spend time with a hooker ! even when i went to Germany i hired an escort !!
me : so what did you do with them ???
richfatmofo : well i just kinda held her hand and walked around in a park !! and in Germany i just took her out to dinner and talked to her !!
me : and if i recall ! weren't you gay in school ?
richfatmofo : yes i was ! but ever since XXX broke my heart i haven't had the guts to get a boyfriend ! plus the social pressure you know ! so I'd rather get married to someone my parents like !
me : (orders a double JD on the rocks with a WTF look on his face)
richfatmofo : i guess he went back to being straight ! but i am still gay !! and now i am nervous about having sex with my 'to be'!
me : to be ? hmm ??
richfatmofo : you know , my wife to be !! i lovingly like to call her 'to be' !
me : so lemme get this right you are a gay guy whose shit scared of having sex with his 'to be' wife who is a girl you parents chose for you ?
richfatmofo : yes ! you have any advice ?
me : dude never mind !! you are way beyond the point of advice !! well i just hope that you have at some point in your life seen naked pictures of women so that you can at least figure out what's where !!
---
10 comments:
how horrible. this cowardly fichfatmofo is gonna ruin this girl's life. how really terrible. i hope develops premature impotency. besides if hes gay it'll be his best excuse to not have to be with his to be. also if he's gay pray tell why did he hire female escorts. though hiring hookers and escorts is also so despicable. chheeeeee
the guy sucks dude. one reason I have no wish to keep in touch from school, i know they'll disappoint me again! sucks!
rotfl. saving it for my 'to be'. wow.
one of my brother's school friends went on the same track. got married and went to ny. divorce in 6 months. now married again. to a dude. happily i suppose.
they took him to a topless bar once and he found it disgusting. can you fuckin believe that. men who dont like boobs! whats the world coming to, man..
lol. i couldn't stop laughing. you get funnier by the day, exile does you good, i see :D
hobo,i guess he hired em to get see if he could you know be not gay and at the last momen didn't have enuff balls i guess !
jerry,its not as much school being a factor.... this guy is just seriously fucked up ! or confused or some might say victim of a narrowminded society ..... ok scratch that last one i didnt just say that :P
fishy, men who don't like boobs ... they like balls ;)
scout, well this is a tragic yet exytemely hillraious story ! :P
friendly piece of advice.. dont you call me fuckin 'fishy' again. ever.
I'm Gay and anonymous .
aww cho chweeet !! the little fishy is growing shark teeth ;)
anonymous, Come out the closet ! why not ? :)
luck !!
Um...Hehehehehehe
He calls himself gay and he marries a girl? Worse yet, he marries a girl that his parents will like??
Man, he's not gay, he's ghey.
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