the girls of 2006 - Part 1
this is the time of year when i reflect back on things i have done all this year. no no i am not gonna repent or figure out mistakes. i am just gonna smirk over the little nice events (girls) that happenned. earlier this year i found myself secluded in a crowded club on top of a hill. the party was in sync and the only person i knew there was wussyartistguy. As is anyone's guess i was shit bored and the only thing that was keeping me titty bitty interested was the curvy model who was posing for pictures under the artificial waterfall. My legs were hanging by the edge of the pool splashing the water. Staring at bikini's isn't really my glass of vodka so i got up from my comfy cold pool side 'seat' to get a beer. When i got back this blondish girl was sitting in my 'place'. Being the polite charming person that i am i decided to stand and hover above her and give her mean looks. It took 30 seconds before she turned back and looked up at me.
I angrily pointed at myself and then at the 'place' by the pool i was sitting at.
gorgeoussmartblonde : [points to her lips and then points to me and gives me a 2000 watt smile]
this single act of cuteness was enough to get my cuteness loving hormones in disarray and i did what any man in my position would do. I let out a very loud ha ha laugh. We sat together and In an hour i knew her passion for her job, her command over 19,000 languages and her smoking habits. 5 hours later we were standing in the balcony of the club talking about her favorite sexual position. she played with her hair, i had my arm around her waist.yes we were getting along like Sauron and the ring. We walked back to the pool to get us a drink each when wussyartistsguy ran into us. By the time i got to the bar and got me a beer he was chatting her up. throughout our conversation i hadn't told her my name, this was a little fun game we were playing and she loved it. and In 5 minutes Wussyartistguy had blurted my life's story out to her and was busy hitting on her using his conventional wussy guy ways.
Now inexile was in a difficult situation. He didn't want to compete with the wussyartistsguy and he didn't want to make it apparent that he was trying to get her attention back. but inexile really liked the girl. So he thought and he thought and he thought and it took him exactly 77 seconds to figure out the perfect plan. Inexile decided to charm and seduce gorgeoussmartblonde's friend stupidblonde and play a little game. Well it seemed like a fairly simple plan. The stupidblonde was cute and pretty and kiddish. Well there was one thing that inexile didn't know. She spoke very very very bad english. Oh bugger !!
In the first 15 minutes all she kept saying was that she liked this song or that song or that "ze beer iz ver nize". time was running out and gorgeoussmart girl was still talking to wussyartistsguy. It was clear that i couldn't do much verbally. I had to do something and i had to do it quick. I had worked hard to get the gorgeoussmartgirls's temperature that high and i wasn't going to let wussyartist guy take advantage of it. But what could i possibly do ? the stupidblonde girl was just smiling and drinking. It was during this moment of desperation that a very very stupid light bulb went off in my head. The stupidest brain cell in my head probably sneaked this through my brain's sensible-ity filter.
I simply, carelessly, threw the blondestupidgirl and her beer into the pool. she was in it drenched and everyone was staring at her. Ok good i distracted gorgeoussmart girl's attention now i had to grab it too. Well i didn't really have to do much, It wasn't long before the stupidblonde girl came out and pulled me too into the pool and that was it. i mentioned to her that her friend was out there all dry and that she should be called in too and bingo !! mission accomplished !! Here i was in the pool with both the blonde girls,I paid extra attention to the blondedumbgirl and totally ignored the gorgeoussmsartgirl. It was working as i anticipated.But now i had one blonde girl too many and worse they were both friends....
gorgeoussamrtgirl : that was wild fun !
inexile : you are so fucking evil !
gorgeoussmartgirl : no i am not ! i am very nice !
inexile : you are a devil ! in fact i am going to dress you up in a red devil dress and parade you down the street.
blondedumbgirl starts laughing !
Inexile ( to gorgeoussmartgirl) : awwww isn't she an angel, i am going to dress her up too .. in an angel's dress and then we can also walk down the street hand in hand while drinking tequila
Blondestupid girl is giggling mad by now and gorgeoussmartgirl is in my court again, turning on her jealousy ignition. It was time to get rid of the incidentals now..
Inexile (pushes blondestupidgirl and wussyartistsguy together) : awww don't you guys look cute ... isn't she cute man ? dude you gotta take some pictures of her. where your camera ?
gorgeousblondegirl was laughing her ass off by now. Of course, now she knows that i am still interested in her and she is also not feeling guilty about leaving her friend all by herself. chicks i tell you. gorgeousblondegirl and me spend an hour in her car doing things straight out of a Russian porn movie. and if it wasn't for the wussyartists guy coming up with some other wussy problem, i would've got to know how she liked her eggs... Well i anyways told her to meet me the next evening at the cafe by the beach and that was it. i liked her and not just sexually. i needed this at that moment.
Next day i landed up at cafe by the beach where my friend coolbartender worked. The place was full of people and hot chicks.It was rather stuffy and annoying especially the euro techno music. I waited for a full 15 minutes. But she was nowhere to be seen. i was annoyed and went out to the parking and sat there smoking. I was angry, i liked this girl and she had stood me up. well not really her fault. We hadn't exactly fixed a time. I was sitting alone in the darkness when a little bike pulled up next to me. Headlights in my face, making me even more pissed. I looked up and stared hard at the light, a nasty abusive word at the tip of my tongue.
"you look bad, are you fine ? " said she
and she got off the bike. the first thing i noticed about her was the Frank Zappa t-shirt she wore. There's a god after all. she came and sat next to me by the road....
"Do you have another cigarette ? " said she...
I angrily pointed at myself and then at the 'place' by the pool i was sitting at.
gorgeoussmartblonde : [points to her lips and then points to me and gives me a 2000 watt smile]
this single act of cuteness was enough to get my cuteness loving hormones in disarray and i did what any man in my position would do. I let out a very loud ha ha laugh. We sat together and In an hour i knew her passion for her job, her command over 19,000 languages and her smoking habits. 5 hours later we were standing in the balcony of the club talking about her favorite sexual position. she played with her hair, i had my arm around her waist.yes we were getting along like Sauron and the ring. We walked back to the pool to get us a drink each when wussyartistsguy ran into us. By the time i got to the bar and got me a beer he was chatting her up. throughout our conversation i hadn't told her my name, this was a little fun game we were playing and she loved it. and In 5 minutes Wussyartistguy had blurted my life's story out to her and was busy hitting on her using his conventional wussy guy ways.
Now inexile was in a difficult situation. He didn't want to compete with the wussyartistsguy and he didn't want to make it apparent that he was trying to get her attention back. but inexile really liked the girl. So he thought and he thought and he thought and it took him exactly 77 seconds to figure out the perfect plan. Inexile decided to charm and seduce gorgeoussmartblonde's friend stupidblonde and play a little game. Well it seemed like a fairly simple plan. The stupidblonde was cute and pretty and kiddish. Well there was one thing that inexile didn't know. She spoke very very very bad english. Oh bugger !!
In the first 15 minutes all she kept saying was that she liked this song or that song or that "ze beer iz ver nize". time was running out and gorgeoussmart girl was still talking to wussyartistsguy. It was clear that i couldn't do much verbally. I had to do something and i had to do it quick. I had worked hard to get the gorgeoussmartgirls's temperature that high and i wasn't going to let wussyartist guy take advantage of it. But what could i possibly do ? the stupidblonde girl was just smiling and drinking. It was during this moment of desperation that a very very stupid light bulb went off in my head. The stupidest brain cell in my head probably sneaked this through my brain's sensible-ity filter.
I simply, carelessly, threw the blondestupidgirl and her beer into the pool. she was in it drenched and everyone was staring at her. Ok good i distracted gorgeoussmart girl's attention now i had to grab it too. Well i didn't really have to do much, It wasn't long before the stupidblonde girl came out and pulled me too into the pool and that was it. i mentioned to her that her friend was out there all dry and that she should be called in too and bingo !! mission accomplished !! Here i was in the pool with both the blonde girls,I paid extra attention to the blondedumbgirl and totally ignored the gorgeoussmsartgirl. It was working as i anticipated.But now i had one blonde girl too many and worse they were both friends....
gorgeoussamrtgirl : that was wild fun !
inexile : you are so fucking evil !
gorgeoussmartgirl : no i am not ! i am very nice !
inexile : you are a devil ! in fact i am going to dress you up in a red devil dress and parade you down the street.
blondedumbgirl starts laughing !
Inexile ( to gorgeoussmartgirl) : awwww isn't she an angel, i am going to dress her up too .. in an angel's dress and then we can also walk down the street hand in hand while drinking tequila
Blondestupid girl is giggling mad by now and gorgeoussmartgirl is in my court again, turning on her jealousy ignition. It was time to get rid of the incidentals now..
Inexile (pushes blondestupidgirl and wussyartistsguy together) : awww don't you guys look cute ... isn't she cute man ? dude you gotta take some pictures of her. where your camera ?
gorgeousblondegirl was laughing her ass off by now. Of course, now she knows that i am still interested in her and she is also not feeling guilty about leaving her friend all by herself. chicks i tell you. gorgeousblondegirl and me spend an hour in her car doing things straight out of a Russian porn movie. and if it wasn't for the wussyartists guy coming up with some other wussy problem, i would've got to know how she liked her eggs... Well i anyways told her to meet me the next evening at the cafe by the beach and that was it. i liked her and not just sexually. i needed this at that moment.
Next day i landed up at cafe by the beach where my friend coolbartender worked. The place was full of people and hot chicks.It was rather stuffy and annoying especially the euro techno music. I waited for a full 15 minutes. But she was nowhere to be seen. i was annoyed and went out to the parking and sat there smoking. I was angry, i liked this girl and she had stood me up. well not really her fault. We hadn't exactly fixed a time. I was sitting alone in the darkness when a little bike pulled up next to me. Headlights in my face, making me even more pissed. I looked up and stared hard at the light, a nasty abusive word at the tip of my tongue.
"you look bad, are you fine ? " said she
and she got off the bike. the first thing i noticed about her was the Frank Zappa t-shirt she wore. There's a god after all. she came and sat next to me by the road....
"Do you have another cigarette ? " said she...
5 comments:
great imagination. cheers!
Naa, I wouldn't know why someone would say that (above). But for a second I was wondering whether you were working, secretly, at Penthouse or something like, Debonair. But no man, your stories are cool! Cheers!
anonymous, nice nick !
jerry, not working at penthouse ! i just manage to land up at such places and get into such situations ! :)
are you gay? the way you talk to girls (I'll dress u in a red dress...gaah) is very meeeeaow.
it isnt funny how so very many people need a life.. makes me want to be gautam budhha :)
Post a Comment