Sunday, October 08, 2006

no she ain't no coke whore..

me and creativedude have been friends for a while and apart from the usual fight or heated argument or ten we gel along pretty well. the main bonding factor is alcohol and mutual appreciation of each other's "abilities". creativedude's perennial passion is cocaine. Ever since his days as a hot shot dj in hot shot ftv parties, he been in love with cocaine. Now he isn't an addict but cocaine just fascinates him. Every concept we discuss, coke comes in somehow and to sum it all he's always ready to do a line or ten grams. Creativedude has a dedicated drug dealer, cokeguypissed. Now this guy is always pissed and his phone is always ringing. He loves telling everyone how much money he has and how many women (read coke whores) he fucks. Maybe he is a nice guy maybe he's a motherfucker i don't know.

Usually when creativedude would buy coke, the cokeguypissed would deal in some public place, in his car on a red light or in the corner of a kid's toy store. Perfectly harmless places. Creativedude would take a few grams each time and with every sale he and cokeguypissed became better pals. So here we are sitting and drinking beer. bouncing off ideas. Creativedude is on the phone with cokeguypissed, as usual arranging for stuff. It turns out that cokeguypissed is very busy and he calls us over to some place he is currently at. As surprised as we were at being called to a house we decided to go anyways. I was expecting some back alley dingy dirt whorehouse but it turned out that this was a very nice seaview condo at a very expensive place.

inexile : dude check this place out
creativeguy :what should we steal first. Hey cokeguypissed watsup ?
cokeguypissed : what the fuck do you want ?
creativeguy : extra cheese double mac and large fries please .. ha ha
cokeguypissed : ..... (emotionless face)
creativeguy : aight man ! i'll take 4 grams
cokeguypissed : wait here
he goes in. suddenly loud trance starts playing.
waiting for 20 mins (which seem like 19 years)
creativeguy : dude you got a gun ?
inexile : you think i'll share..

now the music has stopped and cokeguypissed bangs a door and comes out pissed.
cokeguypissed : man i wish i had a gun
laughing in inexile's head
cokeguypissed : man i want to cap this bitch ..
creativeguy : what bitch ?

and then the door opens again and famousactressbitch walks out. Hair open and flying, open robe and a t shirt and shorts under it. she doesn't look as cute i had thought. sniffs 10 times every minute which tells us that she is quite dosed up on coke as we speak, which explains her overexcited state.and then she starts shouting..

famousactressbitch : cokeguypissed, fuck you, i am not paying you a dime more than 20 g's if you want to charge more you can do it from the next week.
inexile's and creativedude's jaw open at the sound of 20 g's. 20 grand worth of coke in a week ? 20 fucking thousand $$. cokeguypissed looks at us. famousactressbitch notices us.

famousactressbitch : who the fuck are you people ?
cokeguypissed : they have come to kill you
famousactressbitch : not again ..!! and she walks back to her room
cokeguypissed : ha ha ring or no ring a whore is a whore !!

15 mins later inexile and creativedude walking back. not a word exchanged

inexile : that was the most surreal shopping experience i have ever had !
creativedude : i think i should stop cocaine, do hashish or something !
inexile : or you could just ... not do ...anything .
creativedude : dude i am talking about logical options ok ..not myths..

I think i have met one too many actresses this last week. It's time to stop the fiction.

4 comments:

jairaj said...

What an awesome story! Ya, well crazy Pulp Fiction-kind.

InExile said...

it was quite wicked when it happenned !!

hedonistic hobo said...

hilarious. logical options not myths. hahaha.......cracked me up!

InExile said...

it's funnier if u hear it ! :P