Before these crowded streets.....

Click Clack Away

2011-08-24T02:16:00.003+08:00

I saw you

You walked over

I clawed you

you dripped wet

I spoke

You came

I smoked

You typed your grocery list to your boyfriend on BBM..

someone told me there's a girl out there..

2010-06-21T00:35:00.000+08:00

Too much pepper she mutered to herself and annoyingly slammed the shaker on the table.Not many tables around, about 8 maybe lazy tourits lounging or 4th wave hippies who live in the area.Smell of burning maal. Sound of her fork on the plate. My hot sweet honey lemon mint tea.... Waiting.sound of asian dub foundation on the speakers.

She spirits free and freed her to the mountains. We still haven;t spoken much and she is pretty much a stranger to me. Maybe it was just her red hair and Cute facial expression which made me come along. I am already thinking dirty things. I am picturing her in various sexual positions.
Her head bending backwards in doggy style, my hands on her ass guiding her forwards and backwards. I’d like to think she has a nasty Tattoo on her bum, a drunken tramp stamp. Her unshaven pusssy hair ....sweaty. My hands glide forward to feel her nipples.

She shoots me an intense look as if she knows what I am thinking about. But it;s only because I have been staring at her for half a minute As I fuck her in my mind. Women can feel these things. She smiles. Tells me my tea is growing old.I smile back. It’s almost like a smile post an orgasm. I want her. I don;t know her or her favorite band but my cock years to Splash all over her bosom in her mouth on her hair all over her.

She takes out a book out of her bag.i lean back. She stretches her legs under the table and leans back to read norwegian wood.murakami. I see her toes. Unkept yet ... They would be lethal in black nailcolor and high heels to match. I can imagine them on my shoulder when I am pounding her pussy late in the night amongst the creaking of the crickets and the bed.

When is a definite occurrence. If is not.
I am talking when already...

peanutbutter handjob

2010-03-31T03:34:00.002+08:00

"oh baby i can't wait to have me inside of me. i want you so bad. "

"hmmm"

"maybe we should shag on the phone"

"no save your energy till i come tommo to pound your pussy to groundnut"

A conversation like this should hint towards a forthcoming night of mad steaming sex.

hair to the bone, blindfolds, bed post crumbling, a sea of crumpled bedsheets soaked fluid and various other cliche and non cliche images found in popular and im-popular media online and offline.

In my time, i have had a lot of bad sex. If you eat pizza everyday there's bound to be a few bad slices every now and then. some girls don't talk or make a sound, some don't move too much, some have goody-two-shoes beliefs and others who do it coz it's "cool"

But the one i cajooned with following the above phone conversation deserves a category of her own. when zombies, the living dead and the dead men of dunharrow had a threesome it must've been like this. Dark, gloomy and devoid of any life.

Act 1 Foreplay

Tits to kill, legs to open tiger woods' nine iron, a little black nightdress and makeup in bed. My cock got giddy and my hands were busy. the fire of the phone call channels through her loins with commanding horniness. A short but intense foreplay is usually a good indication of the animal-ness to follow.

Oh yeah. !!!

"fuck me"

Oh yeah !!!

… but apparently her jakyll does hyde. From a cheap amatuer porn video she went to an extra attending the funeral scene on deasperate housewives. Slow, fast, deep, short, lick slip, nick , tuck , pull , spank, twist, press, pressurise, suck, crank it up 5 notches… phew. No sound from the woman. In fact she was lying in the 'attention position' so perfectly that i expected the hail hitler salute anytime. Wait, maybe i should have tried that

"fuck me mein fuhrer"

same continued with blowjobs, titty fuck, handjobs, doggy fuck. The woman showed no emotion. Yet according to her she was having orgasms. My cock can't take it anymore.

how was this woman like this ?

Self esteem issues ? Daddy issues ? Sexual issues ? Or on the contrary she's bdsm or some shit. phew. Well i simply did what any man should have done after such terrible sex. Blew the load on her face and hair. Yeah, i wanna see you get THAT out of your hair in the morning and still make the 9 am meeting on time.

One drawback though, this night has put me off sex. so much that i can't even think about fucking anyone which is so bloody rare for me. Yet it has also made me decide that i have played in numbers for the better part of this decade. Now (at least for the remainder of this year) i am going to play only with girls with whom i have a certain amount of chemistry. Random sex don't cut it no more.

A Public service announcement follows...

2009-11-02T23:23:00.004+08:00

I was speaking to supercool guy and we were having our bi monthly skype talk. we talk shit, trash people trade new abuse words etc etc. somewhere along the line he suggested to me that the best three words in english language are "i don't care". and i suddenly begun to see the marvel that is this combination of abcd's !!

Let me provide an example to you puppies.

She : you're not wearing pants ?

inexile : i don't care

She : is that your ex girlfriend ?

inexile : i don't care

She : i didn't cum

inexile : i don't care

She : but you have a girlfriend

inexile : i don't care

and the best use of this EVER is

She : i have a boyfriend...

inexile : i don't care

---

This is more likely to get your girlfriend, dream girl , wet fantasy to pay

attention to you than if you just tell her that you love her or how pretty

she is or how sweet it is to be with her !! Most (99%) women will play

bitch games with you. throw their shit back at them

but this doesn't ever mean that ...

She : My dog died

inexile : i don't care !!!

NO NEVER...don't be a prick just be an asshole.... Good luck ye wankers !

2009-10-22T02:25:00.001+08:00

i just saw one of the worst films ever ! ghosts of girlfriends!! WTF !! why does hollywood have to feminize and cuntisise every real character. why do they create such characters in the first place ? conner mead the hero is a womanizer, who has been taught game by his uncle since he was little. over the course the horrible fucking count of other characters which are in the story dehumanize him to a wimp. i was puking inwards.

My problem with mass media depiction of pussy boys is that other pussy boys think that's how it's supposed to happen. That they have to pursue (yuck) women and listen to "how am i supposed to live without you" and cry and beg their way through. that love is the fucking answer to it all and matches are made in heaven.

no there is no love except what you feel for your mother your father your kids maybe your sibling. you love your wife and she goes blows a man how much love is there ? it's all bullshit… all that is their is illusion !! 99% are in love with the idea of a girlfriend or boyfriend. or it;s comfort relationships. we have a girlfriend or a boyfriend coz ... Just !!

We need MEN not pussy whipped boys. this shit makes me so angry… if tere's something i hate more than power hungry bitch cunt feminists is pussy whipped boy. they bring misery to themselves. it's their fault that girls dump them and no one gives a shit about them. motherfuckers.

oh and to people who will read this and make judgements and call me woman hater !! go fuck your mothers … oh and jennifer garner is so fucking ugly !

and then they all jumped into a tub full of tobasco ..

2009-07-30T17:38:00.000+08:00

I love the response to the last blog post. I laid a trap for potential visitors. Announced it out loud and put a sign saying "Trap here" and they all fell into it and burned a few mg's of their blood venting on my comments page. awwww

Few of them are regular bashers and cunts du jour (i say this with utmost affection ), but the one i liked the most was Douche muffin. Douche Fucking muffin. Yes he's a boy who calls himself Muffin. Douche Muffin. let me paint a picture of him. Definately not a gym boy (evening new age yoga classes with his "girl-pals", yes), definately wears glasses those metrosexual-herb kinds. is well versed with his emotional/sensitive sides crap. has no girl or super ugly girl or has a girl just so no one calls him out of his gay closet. These are the boys who get bahsed by the Men of the society and find solace in the unsexually charged platonic relationships with women. Oh yeah and they shop a lot and can color coordinate your curtains. Everyone please send a dildo to douche bag cunt muffin on his bud-day !!

his interests are ethenic cleansing !!! maybe if he cleansed all the real men he would get some pussy (assuming hes just fashionably bi) ?? or some respect ??? or feel less threatened ??

Many times i meet a lot of people who go at great lengths to find rare music/rare films / rare books so they can talk about them at social events or parties ! they will go through the said content and argue for and against it or with it till death as they adjust their black rimmed glasses. now i want to know whay is Michael Jackson not there in his favorite music or beatles. There possibly can't be someone who listens to popular music who doesn;t like michael jackson or beatles. One out of these two is a necessity. Why do we have to go write these unknown shites ??

now that;s not to say all people who listen to un-mainstream music are cunts. Lostlittlegirl who commented on my last post is a example. she listens to weird shit coz it makes her pussy flutter and fills her heart with joy and not coz she has to talk about it at parties. but it guys like cunt muffin that make my inner bozo thump. Ok anyhow i am going to address douche cunt;s comment now.

he says You should take your generic rock pedaling ass and get yourself an education in irony.

"pedaling Ass" Doesn;t say that all ? guy is not getting any cock and has reached a stage where internet gay porn doesn;t get his balls filled with cum. he goes on to puke further all over my comments page

Your inane, grammatically confused blather was amusing in a 'this shit is so bad, it's good' way, but this, your misogyny masquerading as catharsis, plunges new depths of vacuous, male bravado posturing, you fucking throwback to the 1970s rockstar cliche.

Obviously my True to myself Piss in the wind speak my mind writing caused his cock to fizz but being a good gay boy whose spend days and days platonically watching women talk about boys as they ask him to hold the eye pencil for them he has learned midgames,he will play to get his man.

I don;t know the meaning of misogny, catharsis or vacuous so i ignored that line. someone care to translate ?? he calls me a throwback to rockstar cliche. I took that as a compliment. Albeit from a queer frustrated metrosexual warming up his parents sofa with his cock demanding ass. I look forward to meeting such people who bring such joy and laughter to your life just by being them. So much so i even forgot about what the fuck was i planning to write.

anyhow the real answer

It's MY BLOG. I'll write whatever the fuck i want. The people who come here who know me know the fact behind
these stories and they know what my sentiments are about women and such. Every person has their own reality.
Just coz what happens in theirs is not congruent with yours doesn;t mean it's all "gas" or "bullshit"
or "fantasy". I know i am leading a good life when i gate hated upon. thank you all bazz-urds.

See you faster than a caster !!

i love all you girls who are true to your own identity and not following fads...

2009-06-19T18:58:00.003+08:00

Everyone i seem to meet seems to have a dealer. not the kinds in psuedo black tux uttering "the dealer has 21" but the kinds who meet you at designated traffic lights to pass 'stuff'. or maybe that was some years ago when this film writer i know used to score coke. point in case.

i am fucking this bollywood-lover-punk rock-jane austen rocks chick in delhi. sweet yet brutal, timid and horny with tits that kill. after i shoot a few rounds of my godly sprinkly cum in her mouth she has this utter thirst for charas. What does she do ? pick up phone, call the dealer. home delivery system. 2 T's on the way. but the best part when she calls her dealer, she starts the call with "salaam bhai jaan". WTF. if a stranger to the situation just walked he would've thought she was talking to a long time no see friend. Brilliant.

I also ended up going to the valley of parvati. Now i think there they put you in jail if you DONT carry charas around. There were dealers who sold us stuff like it was achaar. couple spliff's we dont like it then we give it back. no hard feelings. My friend must've smoked 1T just testing diffrent maal from diffrent people. quite an experience which i secretly and coyly manage to record on the phone's audio recorder. surreal some of their stories.

----

I am still with portugese girl. everyday she loves me more and more. and i like her a bit more than before especially now that i am fucking around and don't feel claustrophobed into the relationship(yuk) corner. She is very scared that i might be cheating but what she fails to realise is that the more i fuck around the stronger my bond will be to her. she's too sweet and innocent to realise this. she is without a doubt the best girlfriend i ever had, not one find i still find in her except that she is a bit too loving sometimes. and the worst part is i want to fuck this hot friend of hers. if everything goes to plan this should be accomplished very soon without ragazza portugesa coming to know of anything. female friendships are disposable anyways. i know (and admire) boys who have fucked sisters so.

To a lot of socially conditioned persons especially those things with tits we call women this will sound offensive coz obviously they fail to realise how much i love women and respect them. definately way more than the boys who pretend to be "friends" with girls only to call her a slut when the boy gang sits at the coffee shop checking out girls and gossiping(yes boys gossip). and the boys who will play the harmless friend and go home and shag all over the facebook pictures of their "platonic female friends".

it's simple i wanna (respectfully( fuck you and make sure we both have the best time and if it clicks we can be friends. i will keep my mouth shut and hope you do too also. i won't tell boys i fucked you to show off and will keep it our little secret (which makes it sweet). if you don't wanna fuck me then i'll move on and not obsess over/send desperate mails/ shag over your pics. inspite of all this i know enough women who will try trashing me to confetti just by reading what i wrote. in fact for these women i'll throw in an extra bone.

ok

ready ?

"All women are whores"... i hope somebody gets pissed at least ...

the indian breakup saaga..

2009-05-24T13:31:00.003+08:00

to laze is to not write a blog. For a while now i've known this girl. lovely girl with curves in the right places and a face to be cummed upon a thousand times. so this girl happily martyred in a 8 year old relationship with a boy boring than burmese art films but perfect to be the main lead in any Rajshri productions film. Boy is a family man, all his facebook status msgs are about the girl, lets call her angelwhore and him joker. While joker has obviously no idea how a girl's pussy is wired to her mind/emotions. he devotes life and facebook to his angelwhore. tells the whole world 9 times a day on his page how much he loves her.

His whole family is also involved. his family loves her and adores her and sees her as a potential wife for him. they decided they will get them married this december. they are so much in love and even the little kids of the family adore her. So angelwhore used to come to my shows quite regularly, coz one of my band members is related to the joker. it was very obvious to me that her pussy skipped a beat for me and she always paid that extra little attention to me. but Bro's before Ho's. As much as i wanted to spank her ass and make her call me 'daddy' i couldnt. she was with joker boy.

one day she wakes up , calls joker boy and tells him its over and now starts the indian breakup saga.

Step 1 : he asks what he has done wrong. he starts with sms, getting no reply he calls when calls are not being picked up he writes long email. then he apologies for whatever he has done tho he doesn't know what/why. she is polite to him in a social way but it's over.

step 2: he reminds her of old times to which she obviously has no attachement. it fails miserably, his heart sinks lower.

step3: he sends gifts. The joker sends food/cake/flowers for her co-workers. how will that get her back to him ??

step4: joker takes his sister's advice and stops calling her or taking her call. coz as his sister said "if you stop paying attention to her she will come back to you". so the next time he calls angelwhore, she busts on him for not taking her call sinking his heart further into his knees.

step 5 : joker makes family member call angelwhore and tell her how they were driving somewhere and a song came on the radio and joker had tears in his eyes. angelwhore obviously can't answer back as she has a new guy's cock stuffed in her mouth.

step 6 : joker makes family member call angelwhore and tell her how she has taken it hard and is not keeping well at all. how will this make her come back i dont understand. i mean maybe she'll just pity him. the next thing is the news sent to her that he's in the hospital.

step 7 : since she won;t take his calls or reply to text. he takes to facebook. he msgs her and scraps her while she politely replies to them. obviously not giving a shit.

step 8 : he listens to sad songs all this while and remains sad for two years, when he finds another girl and the same old cycle will begin..

---

Now this girl angelwhore all this while has been seeing another guy whose the same kind of loser except that he is better looking... If only joker had ignored her when she wanted to breakup and to move on over just gone out and fucked ten other girls it would have been so much diffrent. Her pussy would've fluttered and she would've felt a bitch slap when she would've seen him flirt and makeout with another girl.

if only he had run game on other girls and not ran so much after the angelwhore. but anyhow.since the rule of bro's before ho's doesn't apply anymore, i am going to go game angelwhore and get her in bed... she seems like such an angel to everyone and i can;t wait to get the whore in her out.. "whose your daddy ??"

i was choked by the breasts of a persian woman with fake tits..

2009-04-21T11:38:00.003+08:00

Still with portugese girl ! she's still cute, hot, loving caring .. etc. i still adore her lil bit.

SO one of the reasons why i am so fond of her and think of her a bit highly from others (altho she posseses no skill or craft or intelligence which makes her so distinguishable) is that she didn't put out on day 1. i like the fact that gently and non-rudely she shielded her pussy.

coz the way it works is that when so many girls open their legs so quickly and so widely , my default opinion of any girl i meet is "horny slut/whore/bitchy until' she proves it otherwise to me". It's tough for me to respect them till they give me a reason to. This also means that sex is no longer an act of love. Sex is.. to fuck . She cums , she cums again, hot bodies sweat, my jizz her face.. all this but not an act of love or some shit. It's relieving of sexual energy build in my balls. this also has absolutely stopped me from getting close to any girls (apart from physically).

this also means that i have an even shorter temper and decreased patience to work things out when somethin goes wrong. Because i know i can go out and meet other women and pump (and subsequently Dump them). Unless they want to be beer buddies.

----

i sometimes really wonder how guys with no game survive in relationships. Coz even tho you're in a relationship, girls never stop testing you. Well what i have seen though, is that in a family oriented country like india... girls are rather forgiving/accommodating and would maybe have a comfortable, man - friday as a boyfriend simply coz they require a sense of belonging..and the sheer necessity of being in a relationship too.. ah fuck it why am i wasting time over loser boy lives !!..

and i thot we would never get along..

2009-04-15T18:23:00.004+08:00

every-time i start a post i start with "so much has been happening". this post is no diffrent. lot has happened in the past few weeks. so much exciting stuff so many new people new songs. but me hooking up with Portuguese girl really stands out of all of em. i have actually been seeing a girl for the last 3 weeks. 3 weeks one girl only, not fucked around with anyone else. who would've thot ?

I have tried so hard to scout for them but , In her not one ounce of bitchiness, meanness or anything evil. her sheer genuine kindness and innocence attracted me. not one thing i can find in her which can give me a reason to walk out. and on top of that she's a wild cat in bed, smiles like an evenstar, good sense of fashion, pretty face and kisses like the kiss of death, cooks food, helps me with shopping, gets along with my pals, visits me in the studio with red bulls when i have a long session, never gets jealous when i talk about other girls or exe's, genuinely asks me questions when i tell her stories or about other people she hasn't met, is loved by old, young, family , friends, neighbours, dogs cats etc. has no mental fuckups or emotional hangups and plays the piano like fuck and sings oh la la !!

there's just one problem ... she is madly in love with me...!.. and i am afraid i might get bored of it very quick ...

i had to type this in one go before i forgot her soft tender lips...

2009-03-13T21:53:00.003+08:00

So these have been exciting few weeks. my game went up a whole full notch. Playing this show, great show, kickass crowd. while playing i glance, next to stage left MILF in short dress long hair pretty face dancing. My dick said Hi !! and i notice that she is standing next to this guy i know ! Mental Note : talk to him after the show.

Show ends. Regular hob nob-in. First i see Forbidden Girl. Now she is forbidden coz she is my very close friend's to be sister in law. the girl has the hots for me, has expressed them non verbally but again Bros Before ho's. so anyhow with a sweet wave of hand and a twinkle of her eye she takes my leave. My heart breaks. if only she wasn;t forbidden the things i'd do to that neck of hers. No problem. Inexile moves on and the guy next to the milf, lets call him jackichan comes to me. Since MILF has been eyeing me all night i figured she has asked him to introduce her to me. After making him wait for ten minutes i go with him. We go there he introduces me to MILF and a second girl. It's too loud inside and i won't be able to spit game so i make them come outside to smoke (first time the smoking ban helped me in any way). We go out I am standing laid back on the rails jackie chan is on my left and MILF is not in my radar. Why ?? coz when we came out i saw the second girl. she wore a red chequered-girlyish cap a red top of some parisian sorts and a black slit skirt. I looked at her she looked at me i stared into her eyes she smiled and looked away. i was in love.

Right then jackie chan introduces me to his girlfriend. Yes the second girl. We will call her Dearest. So anyhow i can;t spit game jackiechan is a US marine. he will beat the shit out of me. but dearest and me are eye flirting. She touches my arm hair and tells me she doesn't like men who have any hair on their arms. Jackie chan proudly displays his on her command. He thinks he's being yo cool while obviously ignorant to all the eye flirting going on .

i always say eye flirting a science and i am proved right when jacki chan has no clue wats goin on and invites me back to his girlfriend's place fr drinking and shit. i look at her she is smiling. i realise GAME ON. she is green light. ok so i make them wait 20 mins before i grab my stuf say bye to my friends tell my guitar player (who was hokking up with another hot cutie) he is on my SOS dial in case shit happens. I get in her car. she is the designated driver. She tries to chat me in the car i ignore everything and talk to the boring boring jackie chan.

Car stereo plays seal's "prayer for the dying" . she wins my heart. we are eye flirting in the rear view mirror as i am sitting diagonal to her. Logistics are so important in flirting. I make her look away everytime our eyes locked. (very important this boys). so we reach her super sexy house. wtf she is an artist. amazing painter. + 10 points

As soon as we settle she starts making huge pegs for the boyfriend who in his manly haze starts drinking them all. When a girl wants something she will eliminate obstacles. I manage to get the MILF drunk in the meantime. so its me dearest and jackichan. Jackichan is hazy and dearest starts asking me questions all of which i avoid. Dearest is curious beyond anything. She is pouring me beer, offering cigarettes and wants me to sing aloud every time i hum. in the meantime i manage to figure out her life. 30 (tho i thot she was 24) divorced. Half British half Indian. In her house clothes she looks prettier than fancy clothes. I am falling in lust. we are sitting silent for about 10 minutes smoking and drinking.

and then in the dead quite of the night on a stralit night surrounded by greenery and 2 silent dogs she starts singing. " ajeeb dastan hai yeh...". pitch perfect. i am falling further in lust. At the sound of the foreign language the boyfriend wakes up. He demands English. we continue to speak in hindi and she's throwing in bits of punjabi. Oh so cute. i wanna throw her against a wall and bite her neck. jackichan is getting pissed. "There's more than language going on here". she tells him that old hindi songs can;t be translated. i in the meantime keep making her sing more songs. all situational romantic songs. she is smiling. she is flirting. the boyfriend is getting pissed.

somehow the talk turns to casablanca. She says she hates the film. i say bullshit (coz i know she hates it just coz she can;t have that romance). i tell the boyfriend she is bullshitting. he asks her why she doesn't answer he asks her 10 more times. she blows up. you know that moment the girl gets irritated on her boyfriend coz there's someone else much better. He starts begging for forgiveness. At that moment i start singing " you must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss..." she looks at me with doggy eyes and smiles and starts singing. The boyfriend is pissed beyond fuck. she is ignoring him and singing. she finishes the song and i finish the cigarette.

she looks at the sulking jackiechan turns to me and in a very flirty "i wish my boyfriend wasn't here" way says "you're such an asshole". I say "that's why you like me so much". Her pussy beats two beats instead of one and i know she wants me. right this moment Jackiechan gets up and punches me in the stomach. It hurt oh it hurt. She flips out throws him down. and slaps him. i won. i excuse myself go to the loo take a piss. when i come back they have patched up or so jackiechan thinks. He just lost her. Well don;t get a superhot girlfriend if you can't be man enough and fend of other men. I want her and that's all i know. she can see the lusty passion in my eyes and there's nothing jackie chan can do to avoid that.

I decided to depart she offers to drop me to a cab. Jackiechan hears this and tags along. I purposely forget my cigarettes and once outside the house tell him to go get it (while i get her phone number). By the time she reversed and i sat in the car that guy ran a fuckingsprint and i swear he went to and fro in like 7 seconds. Insecurity to max. SO after this amazing night with this gorgeous lovely lady i couldn;t get herfucking phone number. I don't know how to get to her. i search facebook, myspace she is nowhere.

sigh. i am so heartbroken. If it wasn;t for the hugetits milf hotness i met last week or my other fuck buddies i would be a miserable romeo.

Since that day jackiechan has messaged me to apologise for his behaviour (which obviously she made him do). then i reply with how i loved his girlfriend's art and then today i get a message from him (which obviusly she made him send) which has her email address in case i want to buy her paints. i reply with a list of all the upcoming shows where i'll play coz i know that although she might next to him cuddling in their bed she is reading these mesages. this goes on for a few messages and i can figure out that she is dictating them to him. It was beautiful howpoor jackiechan never realised and so many messages were exchanged. I love it. I love a woman who can be as conceited as she is. Now i don't give a shit about relationships, i just want her in a blinded by lust society and all the rules. I can see her already running around naked in my house painting pictures. She is totally eligible to be the no 1 pick on my rotation. i lust her that much. Phew. In a world full of carbon copy girls whi issues galore it's so refreshing to meet one such twinky.

where's the ahstray ?

2009-02-19T12:24:00.003+08:00

there are girls i know who think having sex while drunk doesn't count and girls who think making out with someone else is cheating. so big tits Shitness calls me on valentine's day, i obviously in the spirit of detesting and not wanting to run into diabatically romantic couples (tho only for a day) was parked indoors (besides too much red around town, valentine's day is the new new years eve). she calls and is so depressed calls me over to talk. Right !

Pickup booze (for me, she has a wine celler at home), 2 packs of marlboro's, condoms and done i am there. Bigtits shitness has a way with hugs, she opens her door and throws a hug at me. First thought, thank god she's not wearing her shitty coconut shampoo. Then she goes on to talk for what seemed like till 2029 but was actually just 20 mins. The summary : she screamed at her boss so she will loose high profile big money job at mcfuckall inc, and secondly that her boyfriend isnt man enough to handle her and can;t lead her and doesn't turn her on and blah blah blah.

so i ask her how she came to such conclusions about her man and how she should give him one last chance , so she explained. Many months ago she had made out with me in some club for like 1 hour. it was like , make out make out drink beer drink beer make out slurrrp sip sip. so she went and told her boyfriend that she had cheated on him. and he did nothing about it. He merely accepted her back as if nothing had happenned. so she is complaining that he didn;t dump her or went out and fucked someone else himself. Right !!! if any of you nice boy cunts are reading this mark this as a fucking epiphany.

instead he takes her on a valentimne's date, buys her flowers dinner drinks. they go to his house she drinks his expensive wine , gives him a peck on the cheek while he fills her glass and tries to sleep with her. in the end she comes home calls a jackass like me to fuck her over. i love how women think.

so anyways, she is a hot girl i have a dick. Bang. Take her, see wall, throw her on wall, kiss, kiss over, strip clothes kiss etc etc etc. some half hour forty mins down the line my fingers (by autopilot of course) find their way to her pussy. i give her the bird, my fav finger to fingerbang, nice wet pussy but she goes "you're hurting me". Ok no problem index finger. "you're hurting me" WTF. Ring finger and again. hurting her ? wtf are you a fucking squirrel pussy. then i resort to something i have never ever done to a girl. Fingerbang her with the pinky finger. and still it hurts. and then it strikes me ...

"are you a virgin ?" i ask and Bingo She is !! WTF now i never fuck virgins. After a few bad bad experiences i have resolved never to fuck virgins. besides i don't really qualify as the ideal guy to take someone's virginity away (esp if they cherished it so much). So then she starts telling me how this felt right and unlike anytime else and how she wants to so do it blah blah. which also proves a point that once a woman wants to fuck or wants to love a man she will find ways to convince you and/or herself. And mind you this time i am horny as fuck my dick could pierce through walls, sheets of metal, Area 51 anything. But rules are rules.

You know these are the times for which god made blowjob. it struck me like a bolt of lightening. But still it breaks my heart to carefully lead a woman till this stage and not complete the job once the moment's ripe, it also astonished me to see a 26 year old grown up virgin woman. eventful night nonetheless. A great blowjob ? not really.

------

If a very close friend of yours is having an extra marital affair with a very hot girl who hits on you consistently .. what do the rules say about sleeping with her ?

99 in the shade...

2009-02-05T16:13:00.001+08:00

so i have been reading blogs this morning. a few things i noticed. People who have other links open up in a pop window - i consider bitches. I just find it very selfish. Most indian women bloggers really reallly suck. Their sense of entitlement is ozone-ish. and it's quite apparent their pussy's are cock dry (or full of worthless cock). i have a lot of friends who blog and bloggers who are my friends all around the world. if some of them stopped writing i would be very sad and the reason i like them is coz they talk real, don't use outlandish words to start post and aren't always super introspective as if in a woody allen film. WTF. but to each their own.

Sometimes there's so much that happen's that i think i'll blog about it tomm and tomm and tomm and whooosh two weeks gone and now i don't know what to blog about. but yeah i hate the whole idea of men goin back to their ex's and esp going back to ex's for sex (unless of course it's a mutually consentric fuck buddy situation). There are so many girls in the world ...why the ex ?? argghh ! well i was one of them once... sigh !

I hate Couples who coochie-coo on facebook. why can;t they just call or if you have to exhibit your lvoe to public then make out in front of everyone. The girl updates the status twice a date gets 9 comments 5 are from the boyfriend who obviously is marking terriroty. On facebook ??? fuck you... and the worst comes when they start cracking private jokes which no one else will get. urghhhh

My second most hated are the people who update their indirect emotional issues as statuses on facebook. like one i read yest... XXX is sad that some people will do things behind her back tho she knows what it is .." WAT THE FUCK. Just call them and confront them why would you want to tell the whole fucking world about it ??? Common sense was given to us all free of cost. Just that in your case it's buried deep under your ego and your false sense of inner reality.

There Anger relsea accomplished.

Superhottits called me and i don;t recall how but the conversation drifted towards she asking me if i was sad or she asking me if i was not happy .... and i realise Shit !! i am so fucking happy all the time for so long now. You couldn;t make me unhappy if you tried. i didnt win no lottery and i ain't sleeping with tera patrick but it's just inner happiness. everyday is a fucking sunday as i told someone the other day.
And to think i used to be so miserable and angry and bitter and what not not more than a year ago. YAY ! sorroundign yourself with uber motivating successful ambitious people also helps.

This is also scary a bit. I don't miss anyone. My best frend moved cities recently and she told me she misses me and i couldn;t say the same back to her. I am so fucking content with myself that i don;t need anyone else. i even have lunch and dinner alone. It tastes better than ever when you just focus on eating and not else shit. Even while socialising i am so fucking aware of myself and my inner state. Slowly i am relaising this. Social situations which used to make me nervy earlier don't get me. for crying out... i used to hate eating alone in a crowded trendy restaraunt. So many issues i had with so many people in my head.

Another thing is people i know from many years refuse to accept it. Coz in their reality people can;t change unless for the worse.. ha ha dear lord. So they still see me as the asshole. if i say "nice shoes" they think i am gonna make jokes about it. if i point out their behaviour pattern they snarl back. unlike yesteryears i don;t fuck off and walk away ... i give then time if they value me enough they will make attempts to be back if not then they were not meant to be my friends in the first place.

I recently did a house record. can you fuckin believe it ? Mr.hell bent for leather doing progressive house. turns out i am quite good at it. who would've fuckin thot eh ? here's a secret i am actually practicing mixing live in the studio. ha ha the live fuckin Dj ... not the ones who just 'play' the music and you wouldn;t believe if i told you ho wmany 'big' names do just that. i am so excited by the events the projects the life that i lead. it's just one of these days. I am out here in the world to amuse myself and i am fucking loving it.

Oh and yeah i got the best blow job of 2009 yesterday !

meet me in the ladies room ...

2009-01-29T16:36:00.002+08:00

if there's any rare routine that i love, it's the day of the rock show routine. i was taking a shit on a recent show-day and i went back ten years when i was a kid and played guitar in school bands, a show day was full of nervousness etc. and here i am today not even thinkin about it. but showdays rock. There are very serious Thoughts that go on in my head on showdays;have to make sure there's unlimited beer after the show;do i feel like getting pussy ?; gtr check, wireless check, setlist check , leather pants check..

i love hangin out at the venue especially if it's green and late afternoonish and i absolutely absolutely love doing the soundcheck wearing sunglasses making the " don't mess with me" rockstar face. No matter how many times i do it, i can't supress my urge to show off to those 10-15 people that will always turn up for soundchecks. It's for these guys that i go up on the mic and tell the engineer to "throw more guitars on my monitor and reduce the vox". Like many unwritten rules in the "how to be a cool band" book, the rule of never let your audience catch glimpse of you between soundcheck and stage time. so that's the time to smoke around, joke around, makeout, have a drink (but never food) and get dressed.

There's always this 1 cent of nervousness no matter where you play but it goes away usually within ten seconds of show takeoff. like any other rock n roller i love a good audience especially lotsa cute girls in the front rows for me to wink at and make phone dial signals at. Which reminds me, goodygoodgirl who became a friend from being a fan and a friend i thot she was insists on flirting with me in front of her boy who she brings to every show. now it wouldn;t be much of a problem for me (tho she is supercute i dont wanna bang her) except it turns out that her boy is the brother of a very close friend of mine. Crap ! so everytime i see them i spent my talk pushing his image up in her eyes. If this isn;t charity what is ???

speaking of girls, now more than 3 other people around me have confirmed that woweyesmilf wants me. what i am not able to understand is, why am i not fucking her ? i mean she is reasonably hot and i love her eyes. but for some reason i don't even make as much an effort to even say hi to her. This is what happens when you get out of your head and are supremely conected to your inner core. your head tries fucking with you to regain power. anyhow it should be a interesting blog post the day i fuck her. Except i would have to deal with her emo issues and besides she is married. Is it worth all the trouble. no fuckin ways. Plenty of pretty girls in the world.

It's incredible there have been times i have felt (with diff girls at various points of time) that they were maybe the only right one (and i told them i loved them. i meant it sincierly at that time but now i realise it didn;t mean shit.). now coming from a mentality where i believe in exploring an echo system where there's abundance of pretty smart intelligent interesting girls, why the fuck would i want to dwell upon a random single girl if she shows warning signs ? many of my friends fail to understand that. now i don't get every girl i want, not all fo them can like me, but just coz a customer likes chinese food and you have a italian restaraunt doesn;t mean you will change the menu now will you ?

I have been on this reality shattering, self actualisation process of freedom of the self from

the ego and the mind. there are so many thoughts to pen down. any how the point of the post is that i love rock shows, i loev the fact that there are so many eligible girls around and i am fucking glad of being myself (the myself in the last 6 months) HEE HAWW !

she used to be an anal virgin...

2009-01-15T16:17:00.009+08:00

boy at party flirts with supertitshotness.

STH (supertitshotness) : oh btw i am here with my boyfriend

boy : cool ! where is he, let's go meet him..

Boy goes back-pats boyfriend hard and says "what's goin on man". boyfriend is chatting to not-hot friend of STH, boy flirts with Not-hot which make STH more aroused.

boy : your Boyfriend is a REALLY nice guy !

STH : (sigh) i know !

Boy fucks STH. STH's boyfriend comes to know later. STH on the phone to her boyfriend

STH : He meant nothing to me !

what she really meant was "He was better than you at getting me wet, and I just rewarded him with my pussy…but now i will come back to you and since you committed to me i will make you invest in me even more..."

In this "open minded" Age of cheating and " promiscuous girls"..

I say, I am happy when a woman comes, and leaves after I come.

Any man who denis this is a liar !

2009-01-06T15:30:00.011+08:00

Roosh depicted it so well..

And in very rare cases when the perfect girl comes along...

morning deja vu !

2008-12-17T12:03:00.006+08:00

it felt like getting outta bed on a cold winter morning, pulling the drapes and outside it's all foggy and misty. have just dessert for breakfast and creamy coffee. she had both her hands wrapped around the coffee mug. love morning conversations and cigerettes that follow. she told me about the thing with the place at that time significant in history. i tell her how i want her to be my backstage dixie; for me to smile at. the last spoon fell on the china, i thot it was a c#. when her body i held close,those firm breasts conspired with her arms to provide warmth i couldn't find in the bed in which we there-after spooned all afternoon long !

scooters

2008-12-08T12:01:00.010+08:00

i know a guy lets call him IB for inv banker. IB wanted to game around and get pussy, one day IB and me sat in my living room and he voiced this concern of his. Knowing he's a logical guy i recited the math to him. More you meet mroe the chances of you getting lotsa pussy. IB voiced his lack of confidence, i made him do some secret FBI classified shit which made him feel great. and hold your breath, who would've thought in their "wank carmen electra from ten years ago" dreams, he actually satrted going to clubs regularly and went out with two chicks (who i later found out were from his office,yikes !).

Back to now. He just got married to a girl selected by his parents coz his family needed a joyous occasion like this to feel an enlightened sense of happiness (read: i cant get pussy). I have always realised that 99% people walk around in a hazey daze. and now i pondered over what is called a successful life if you are in such a daze ?

you pass outta school/college with flying colors
don't get into trouble
dont do drugs/alchohol
don't shoot panda's/litter your town,
get a good job/fat salary
get married (shudder !!)
spread your seed/make babies
provide for your wife and babies
grow kids/ make them into "model" citizens
be cliche / Fit in the crowd
accumulate money, houses/cars/goods
celebrate a few days (b'days, festivals) with frends family
be nice to everyone (contrary to 'be real')
retire with shitloads of money at 60 and enjoy life (wtf)

So wtf ? you start enjoying life when you are 60 +. isn't it unfair is all i ask ?

No matter WTF happens. 60 will never be the new 20.

sha la la la la ... dooobie doooo

2008-11-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

There comes a time in every man's life when a girl who already has a boyfriend gets attracted to him.now it's, some would say a moral issue but using abit of a logic it can be solved. I'll explain further using the situation i am in,currently.

Firstly, how attracted she is to you ?. The girl in question is i'd say contemplating possibilities and probably thinks of me at night for a bit before she sleeps and as i have observed laughs blatantly at all the jokes i crack.

2. what's her status with her boy ? Now the first time i heard her speak about him she 'sighed'. When i saw them together they just sat at one place not talking much, no hand holding. He's a submissive male personality which seem to be in fashion now. so obviously she holds the leash in this relationship.

3. what you want from her ? as a man i have to know what i want from her. She's pretty, intelligent, an artist and seems loving caring too. so she's possible long term relationship material. and to top it all she's from hometown which makes bonding easier. so yeah i'd say a semi-monogomous relationship is possible post further scrutiny of her personality.
so as the jury can conclude It's on baby ! Now all i gotta do is amplify attraction which eventually makes her boy look lame which will make her suddenly find all the faults in the world in that boy and bam ! dorothy kansas goodbye !

Now for those who say it's not morally right. women will always go for the better man once the opportunity comes. and it's the fault of that boy that he couldn;t emotionally, physically simulate her intensely enough so she'd consider sticking around. coz a man can only put the merchandise in the shop eventually it's always the woman who will shop. and for boy's who lose their girls to cunts like me.Remember, When the love's gone, the woman can be as evil as if she never knew you.

Wait up dancergirl here i come !

Realisation

2008-11-18T14:59:00.002+08:00

Modern society will maybe never stop criticizing men for having a dick.

yeo that was me...

2008-11-13T18:12:00.000+08:00

i am not a fan but i absolutely love the new kid rock single, 'all summer long'. i think it's gonna be a less obnoxious 'summer of 69' for a lot of people. it really reminds me of 'sipping whiskey out the bottle' when you are 19 and playing in a band and making out with the girls and falling in love with each and every one of them.man I never will forgetThe way the moonlight shined upon her hair. Rock n Roll forever !

p.s. what would rock n roll be without the girls !

2008-11-12T13:07:00.009+08:00

i hate nothing more than feminists posts bitching about men. i condemn feminists as much as i hate religious extremists. so a feminist and a rapist and a suicide bomber are the same thing to me. none of them affect my life but they make other helpless souls suffer, so not cool.

i read one such bullcrap post this morning by a woman who i can safely assume is not rather good looking, she doesn't seem like a fat girl personality but is rather bitchy. so i thought let's write a motherfucker post. bare boned brutal truth posts. if you are a single woman/girl and you follow this i gurantee you trucks of happiness.

1> women should stop telling a man to look beyond the looks and look at the personality. Nope not happening. men are all about looks women are all about the inner self. you can;t change it. that;s how it has been since the days of the bushman. stop crying over it and just loose weight, learn better makeup, silicon implants whatever u want to do. girls will be surprised how suddenly men are so much committed and considerate post the look upgrade.

2> there are good men in the world. Men with values who constantly exponentially are dedicated to being a better man every day. search for those men. if you go to a fucking club sit there at the bar and get hit by men to seek validation coz your boyfriend flirted with your best friend then obviously you ain;t finding any fucking soulmates.

3> if you are a single woman of 28 or more. then you will be unhappy if your looks aren't in order. get the looks get the guy. loose the fucking weight. i haven;t met many hot girls ordering extra cheese pepperoni pizza's and washing them down with beer.

4> learn to fuck. Fuck your man like a whore and you'll turn him into a boy who won;t leave (mostly). Period. Nothing holds back a man better than sex.

5> if you are fat, short haired, oily skinned, pimpled then your top notch job, seaview condo and shitfunks of money won;t do shit for you in terms of getting men.

6> if you have an unattractive face. sorry you can;t help it. you'll have to lower your standards but still there's shitloads you can do with your looks. Get off the sofa shut off the tv and go kickboxing.

7>once a man finds you attractive gets fucked by you brainless and eventually figures out your personality (we are not heartless), i doubt he will have problems committing.

if you are dissing this post and still insist on discussing gender-wars don't forget there are girls out there with cute face, desirable bodies and attractive personalities who are bagging all the good men while you are logged online and have nothing but your right hand for 'romantic' company.

black thong huh ?

2008-11-05T18:29:00.009+08:00

- i love buying condoms. there's something so morning dew fresh about having condoms lying around your house. i tried this American brand off late as a result of which i find my old fav durex condoms to be very sucky.

- you can never say you know a girl unless you have fucked her. you know probably 5 % about her. all her old friends and her siblings they maybe know her 10% but the man whose pushin her cush-in will know more about her.

- sometimes when i am talkin to my chicka friends about girls i fucked they say " i would never let a guy do it" OR " you only date the psycho ones etc". Firstly, they are bullshitting secondly i really hate it how women have no concept of "sisterhood". how they bitch and bitch and bitch. if they really like a man they will step over their best friend's eyeballs.

- i also realised that kituska is the best girl i have met in my life. she might not be super interesting super exciting all the time but that's probably coz of the distance. there's something about eastern european girls. no other girls (apart from south americans even compare). Eastern bloc chickas mean business.They are jealous, feisty and can hold a fight. If you have seduced an eastern european girl you got serious game. she has gone through a lifetime worth of bad flirting, cuss words, getting feel-ed up in Easter european clubs by men who brush with vodka. SO breaking such a tough nut ? Bravo !

- i can never fuck a girl who doesn't have a big nice smile. 90% of the reason why i used to LLG was coz i loved her smile.

- The philosophies of my life in conjunction with the reality sorrounding me has changed drastically !

i learned that..

2008-11-03T20:54:00.000+08:00

Love can exist without fidelity..

sex type thing

2008-10-31T14:09:00.003+08:00

The best way to wake up in the morning is by a blowjob. I am never cranky when it happens. the best part about being in the hometown is the fuck buddies you have carefully nurtured, preserved, groomed over so many years. so obviously i look forward to it and treat them like my little rose buds of happiness.

so i went to fuck the ex hashfarm chick and guess what the girl has learned to fuck. she licks she sucks and she slams that pussy on my dick like a fucking bitchslap in a nigger fight. now the fuck was 'woah baby' , her tits were awesome, she smelled good but i swear on budweiser this was de-fuckin-facto the most emotionless sex i ever had. heck even the spanking didn;t have any real angst in it. so it became kinda mechanical 'fuck smoke fuck smoke eat fuck smoke' ritual. so anyhow during all this sex i somehow end up calling kituska whose a fucking lazy ass as always but what i loved was the blowjob i was getting from hashfarm during the call. i fucking rock . vicomte de fucking valmont shit. but you know this kinda sex is not cool. i am a man we are programmed to fuck at demand but i;d rather have sex a-la-les liasions-dangereuses.sigh. all i want is everything. anyhow i have a fuck scheduled at 2 pm today. i should shower and fuck off. shower the eerie feeling of flesh fuck off off my body and maybe go pat some dog or somethin.. yawwwwn .. goodmorning morhterfuckers !

she's lucky this time..

2008-10-14T14:42:00.005+08:00

She: Stop, I don't want us to have sex tonight.
He: You're right, we won't do this tonight.
She: Noooooo, you're not supposed to listen to me...
Before she left, she checked her cell phone. Her boyfriend had called something like 24 times. It doesn't matter, with what I'm offering her, I could only make her relationship better.

i woke up and i thaught..

2008-10-13T13:30:00.004+08:00

all i fucking want

-is to go to berklee ! i can't even tell how heartbreaking it is that i didn't go ! this is the saddest thing that has happenned to me this decade !

-have a few platinum records. since i am not doing shit to make them obviously i dont have them

but i like the shattering of social conditioning and the restrictions on the roof on top which have been so fucking demolished that it makes me smile non stop when i think of it. realisation are funny. but i am so fucking happy. incidently right now is the happiest i have been this decade. in spite of all the challenges ( which are opportunities in disguise now aren't they.) it's very cool when you believe in what you say. and obviously i am not writing this for any readers ( if at all this blog has any left) this is being written for me when i am a fucking superstar say in 2011 or something. so fuckoff !

so then...

2008-09-20T15:43:00.005+08:00

packing,airport,packing,packing,unpacking,hotel towels,insomnia,cofee,pack of cigerettes a day,alchohol,pack,pack,travel,taxis,sunglasses on all the time WOAH

so after all this crazyness finally back to the city. now as much fun as i have i tend to ignore the basic necessities and the chores. like paying bills or renewing my lease. WHAT THA .. so yeah i get back and i have no house. now more money means more shopping which in my case is lots and lots of gear. so yeah not only am i homeless i have to move and shift all that fucking gear. ok no problem, something will happen. i proceed to go and drink more with my friends.

beer solves all the problems. so after drinking out countless times i managed to stuff my stuff in 6 diffrent friends houses till i get my own place. now where do i park my arse ? ok then. bigtits tells me i can stay with her. she's a ok girl to hang with and well i need a place. her place is sexed out, very good location. i am in.

i should have realised it was gonna be trouble the first morning when i woke up with her arms around me. now she might be attractive to most men and has hugungous tits but i don't fancy her. never have never will. so anyhow, i ignore it and move along with my life. next day she sleeps in the same bed with me. well no sex no touching, it;s cool. Day 3 and she wants to hold my hand and sleep and wakes me up with huge hugs. i want to kill myself. but i am a peaceful zen like tolerating person. i move along with a smile.

anyhow, razorlonglegs is in town as usual she calls me. and obviously we want to start drinking right away. she drinks like a pig is funny as hell, takes everyone's arse like a hobby and we get along like pamela's pussy with a rocker dick. so anyhow i have bags to drop off home so razorlonglegs and me go to bigtits place drop the bags and move on. we were there probably about 1 minute. i get a text from bigits accusing me of being bitchy, then accusing me of cheating on her (WOW). then accusing me of sniggering (WTF). anyhow i dont care, and proceed to drink myself senseless coz i am gonna have to go back and face bigtits.

As i expected she's like the 3rd extra on the sets of all my children. Doing her dramatic dialog delivery no good by stuttering and fake tears and what not. Proves my theory that women want drama, if you won;t give it to em, you are screwed coz they'll take it at your expense. So after a lot of drama it's fucking 4 am i proceed to explain to her my philosophy of life. tell her about my girls, my non belief in things like romance, and my pro bi-girls stance. so here she is expecting hugging cuddling after what in her head is a "big emo fight" and all she gets to hear is "i want two girlfriends, who love me as much as they love each other". not good. well i thought i drove the point across, and went to sleep. Her new mission : to convert me back to prince charming. i tell this story to all my friends while drinking. it takes the waiter 10 minutes to clean the beer spills.

Being homeless is not fun ! so many things are happening its super fast. Mostly good things. One thing i really like about my life is that last year at the same time i would've never imagine such things would be goin on in my life and i'd be sorrounded by such awesome people...

___

one thing that bugs me is the smoking ban ! not cause i am a smoke but how can you take such a basic right away ... i think it;s fucking ridicoulous ! partial ban in sensitive places i understand but everywhere its fucking stupid !!

so Fuck You !

i sometimes forget i typed this...

2008-08-16T04:14:00.004+08:00

Somethings you always regret !!

-----

When i was younger i thought coming on TV or being quoted in newspapers was such a big deal! and the people who did so were experts in what they are talking about. Now that i hang out with shitloads of these people i realise what a farce Media is ! Kinda sad for the child in me

---

Why don;t grown ups get excited about little things or even big things ! it;s like an unwritten rule ! turn 20+ and stop being excited ! the ones who do,..get labelled as kids ! i'd rather stay hungry and stay foolish .. like a kid !

---

sense of humor should be mass marketed and should be on sale ! they should even have all night vending machines for that !

---

So after i thought of that great great song...

2008-07-04T21:15:00.003+08:00

you know sometime the night is over and morning is there. The ashtray is full and she's sitting in the window and all you can think is that i can't wait to get home so i can just fuckin wash her of off me..

do you want, do you want to dance with me ?

2008-06-22T12:23:00.001+08:00

i hate you some, i love you some..

i love you when i forget about me...

why won't you fuck me in the ass ? said she

2008-06-08T22:01:00.004+08:00

So thanks to the rains i am stuck inside and i am fucking hungry. i had almost forgotten about this blog which i had so promisingly dreamt of updating regularly. If it's 2030 i'd fucking love to read all this shite wouldn;t i ! tho i wonder what kinda browser i'd be using then ?

My fingers are still sour from last night's gig. but fuck put 8 guys with obscene imagination and cupious amounts of intoxicants together and there's a laugh blast. All i recall is somebody talking about new genre's of porn that could be devised. Names included Nail porn and Stomach Porn. and yeah Mask of Zorro porn. fuck. can you fucking believe i played Reggage Last night. ok anyhow.

so FutureMilf broke up with me a while back after a good run of liek 2 months i guess. Now her reason was that she didn;t wanna fall in love with me. Fair enough. But this time for the first time ever. someone broke up with me on sms. wtf. so she sends these 3 long sms. Well the girl has put effort into typing such long words, and i appreciate that. so i send her reply saying "it's ok i understand". Case closed.

I am fond of spending time with her, hell she even did my groceries and i absolutely madly love her gorgeous hair. but well if the chick says goodbye then i ain't the one to force my way in. too many waves in the ocean.

But being a woman and as we know how women are wired. It drives her nuts that i didn't beg her to stay or bitch or call her names. how dare "i understand". So she has been calling me non stop. which is kind of unnecessary as i have no time to talk to her and the last thing i certainly want is drama. So let it cool down. but i love the way chicks think. who needs fucking TV ?

so anyhow kind as the gods are to me i run into patsy a few days after futuremilf dumped me. Patsy sings like heaven, has the body of a vegas gogo girl and on top is an artist. Now if only she'd shut her trap. But well well, she is a new person all together. Talks more sense than most women i meet. Allright !!

---

i also became super-pally with fuckedupcuteness who is the bff of exsoulmate. Surprising ain;t it. and i also get calls from the formerly sucking in bed afghan-hash-farmer. she claims she doesn;t smoke like a arab anymore and is clean like shite. she sends me her pics and woah the girl grew some tits and really i mean really shaped that body. fuck me running. So anyhow she visits me in 2 weeks.

---

Kitana and me also said goodbye peacefully. I think she understands. You can be superclose to one person for many years and suddenly drift apart. It's perfectly normal. something i refused to accept. Well we had a talk and it was all cleared. i can;t be half assed in such things. Although i have spend months building that grey area between black and white. with somethings i still prefer monochrome. relationships of this nature are one. in such intense emotionally touching things i have to be 100 or zero and zero i am now. If it was just another girlfriend i wouldn;t have thought twice. As sad as it is maybe i'll get a song out of it.

---

i feel so out of the groove. i don't know what the fuck to write !! i need to scribble more. ! so i am sitting at this label and an editor friend shows me a preview of the news sex and the city crap film and what's with all the stupid fuck ups in it ? in so many of those shots you can see the boom mic in the frame ! wtf ! spend some money edit them out !

In fact this movie is gonna be the new filter for dating women now. If they answer 'yes' to "have you seen the sex and the city crap film ?" you know instantly they are dispensable. And that my friend is a 10,000 watt loudly thrashed judgmental statement. Yawn

i am bored and i am hungry. I am gettin the fuck outta here.

p.s. spellcheck is so 1997

2008-05-18T19:52:00.000+08:00

A million stars are burning
Planetariums were right about the sky
Once upon a day, I pushed off into fire
Wishin' on the wind, took me far from home
Now I'm on the waves, and I'm takin on water
Hard to see, I won't always be alone...

....

2008-05-12T14:33:00.003+08:00

Wasn't there a time not so long ago when we didn;t things like low-fat. De-CAf . obsessive calorie counting. Letting your kids go out in the rain. and everyone was so happy. compared to now. this is the first thought i had today morning. and the second thought was that KISS is the greatest band in the world.

what i also find backwords tho refreshing is that we are going back to simplicity at least in some dimensions. We are trying so hard to create the feel of analog, the feel of R-E-T-R-O while we are using state of the art technology. fuck i even have Apps which make the music sound like it's being played from a Vinyl.

Anyways i was watching George Benson Play and the cat is a shredder. Fuck me running. Just when i am a bit secure about the complexities of my playing it always happens. I see someone who totally rips and then i am like WTF. so now again. What the fuck. I don't even feel like writing anymore. fuckoff

Inexile in the sky with Morons !

2008-04-15T01:35:00.002+08:00

a month or so i was at the airport around 3 am it was ! as is the ritual You check in the baggage take the boarding pass and SIT ! so there i am SITTING and listening to "Calling DR.Love" and i start to notice a pattern. Most of these chicks say around 20-28 zone are all absolutely dressed up. I am talking cowboy boots, lip gloss little little details perfected dressed up. err. It;s Fucking 3 AM in the morning. How do they do it ? i can Barely remember to scratch my balls when i woke up and thye accomplish this ? DAMN. ok so i am sitting around looking around and i see this chick to the left of me ! white girl blonde hair !NO NO i won;t sterotype her ! but she;s carrying this HUGE white fluffy pillow ! you are flying and you carry a fucking Pillow ! you know airlines do give these out on request so why the fuck are you carrying it bitch ? well i was too groumpy at 3 am obviously. But wait, maybe she was just smuggling shitloads of coke !

so hours later i am going through security check ! this chick goes ahead of me and no problem ! but they make me Put through a fucking ipod TWICE ! fuck you coppers ! So anyways i don;t know what's with the window seat. So the middle seat guy next to my window sat has conveniently taken up my seat ! You know someone's coming why they fuck are you in my seat ? I don;t want your arse warming ! and he makes feeble attempts to hijack my seat. As i recall his exact words were "I am in the middle seat".

Maybe it's just me but i have to watch the airhostesses do their whole security thingy. I can;t stop laughing everytime ! They look so fucking disinterested and i have noticed suddenly they become from servers to Models. The pout and the serious face and the total "i am in the spotlight but i am trying not to give a fuck" look. so this waitress seems supercute and i am like "wow finally". Anyhow i am off to sleep. hours later i am up and turns out yay the plane is landing. So while walking out i see the same airhostess and DARN she sucks ass ! so i tell her "you looked wya more cuter from the 17th row. and guess what - She takes it as a Fucking Compliment. But whatever said and done credit must be given to the airhostess people. they put with an awful lot of shit. But not as much sit as i have to put through every time i am at baggage claim ! my Bag has a Fragile Sticker on it ! when it arrives it's upside down ! Motherfucker it's FRAGILE ! i am abusing left and right ! i saw this mom tobe look at me with a horrendous face ! maybe it made her think twice about getting a new child into this world ! laugh worthy !

Flight would be way more fun if only they would let me Aisle Surf !

still not experienced...

2008-03-20T13:43:00.002+08:00

Funny that almost 38 years after, i find myself grieving jimi's death today..

have to document..

2008-03-04T15:21:00.005+08:00

i just realised that there's one thing that i have never ever been for so many years. and that's being a guy without a guitar. I also realise how shit scared i would be if it ever happened...

meshuggaah !!

2008-02-24T03:10:00.002+08:00

finally i get a break !

- Metal band lands up and parks their butt at the studio. Now years of playing jazz acoustica i am so not fucking used to hearing distortion and need for speed guitar licks. wat the fuck. coffee more coffee. ok we are settling a bit. The songs are hot. The guitar player i am proud to say is the best i have seen yet. Hot fucking metal. so I have spent 20 days in a Heavy metal "heaven". Finally i am off now and still ftp-ing tracks across for mastering. Shit this is it, i am a boring writer now. All i can fucking write about is Music. So fuckoff people who want glossy stuff. Speaking of which it's interesting to see now that the only people who come here are the ones who know me. That is another post in itself nonetheless.

- I can't stand redundant "Musicians". Just coz you love Marilyn Manson and can play 9 chords don't mean shit. Fuckoff before i chop off your balls and feed them to my doggy. but it's ok i can bury my acid dripped broken glass anger and let you have another take. but still Shut the Fuck up if you don't know 130% what you are doing !!

- No alchohol really does mean Sharper Senses

- The trends are dead !

can i get some more...

2008-02-05T03:14:00.000+08:00

Since i got no time to write, let the pictures talk...

suddenly i thought of the night by the road with fireworks in the sky..

2007-12-13T14:52:00.000+08:00

Most of the time she shouted and i busted her shit. but there came those moments when she let her inner bitch down and i stopped being an asshole and we really talked.her voice sounded diffrent. very sexy, it was like after sex talk without the sex.very intelligent girl. Like little children we silently waited for the other to betray any signs of affection .Every girl i have messed with since then has only reminded me of what i don't have with her. i was with four girls when she met me. she ended up eliminating all of them.I knew this was wrong, but it felt so right. Damn.

________

3 weeks of touring with a gigging band and it changes the whole perspective on life. When i left Delhi i felt like a needy, silly, immature little boy. Now it's a diffrent story. something about responsibility being shoved in the face. So what if i haven't ever played Lead on stage with a stack of marshall and strat, and guess what ? i am the only guitar player in the entourage. Damn. It's liberating noentheless . Like a fuckign sugar rush. i am tired and i have just entered my house after weeks but i had to get this down on paper. Being in a cosy studio will be a ncie change after all this.

2007-11-13T12:10:00.000+08:00

Morning comes too early and night-time falls too late
And sometimes all I want to do is wait
The shadow I've been hiding in has fled from me today..

I know it's easier to walk away than look it in the eye
But I have given all that I could take
And now I've only habits left to break...

inexile in the sky with musings..

2007-11-08T15:22:00.000+08:00

The habit of writing on airplanes just doesn’t go away. Do you have a favorite type of airplane music ? Led Zepplin is going to California in my ears. Did you know they wrote this song about joni mitchell. Speaking of who I don’t know how you can’t love joni mitchell. She made songs in over 50 open tunings throughout her career. Most “guitar gods” Spend their entire lives playing faster and faster while this little woman innovated and created. None except the male shoe-venists were surprised when she was named as one of the best guitar players of all times. Led zepplin have their found the girl with the flower in the hair as ornella sings “amore fai presto io non resisto”. Why do airhostesses try their best to imitate stone faced models ? This airhostess is so nervous and I am tempted to add to her misery but a bad case of fucked up throat deny’s the plausibility.

It’s been shit busy of late. Hell, I haven’t even thought up any new theories in so long. It’s been a potent cocktail of socialising, shopping and reading psychology books. I have a habit of giving surprises to people around me and those who know me, but the latest one has stumped everyone. I don;t even know what the one’s I am going to be meeting in a few hours are going to be thinking. But it’s a good surprise. No one has said mean or bad things yet. Not that I care. Now do we really mean it when we say I don’t give a shit ? Now my levels of I don’t care are easily demarcated by my sub conscious choice of words. When I reallyyy don’t care I use “rat’s ass don’t give I”, when it’s not even worth a thought my choice is “I don’t care” and when I want to say I don;t care and don’t bring it up or I will smack you I say “ I don;t give a flying fuck”. Anything else probably means I want to navigate further before deciding.

I have realised that all it takes to change a annoying, harmful, ridiculous behaviour style is to use pattern interrupts. I have been experimenting with this for a 2 weeks. We all have patterns. Not always exact replica’s but mildly varying shades of the same color.Now all one has to do is to interrupt this pattern as soon as it fires. Now I don;t know how this theory came into my had. Most of them come in usually when I am stuck in a similar situation. Like I successfully implemented it to control my anger. I just wish people would stop saying “are you pissed” “ You are so pissed” . Well If I am pissed you will see it all over my face. Duh. Many many years ago I read this george clooney interview where he talks about how he’s becoming a better man every day little by little. And that made a lot of sense to me and I thought that I should do this. And I tried and I tried. But at a level of unconscious incompetence it didn;t yield much. But off late say last 2 months or so I have consciously noticed this process auto functioning deep beneath the realms of my mind. Well they say it takes ten years to Master anything and well probably I am on my way. Now maybe I could get 20 of these processes running to exponentiate the shizzle. Well also that clooney was late 30’s when he did the whole “better man a day scheme” so now I feel better about my being suddenly.

Lately when I hang out with guys and some girl passes by or crosses our path I ask the guy ‘would you do her ?” now it’s amazing how the responses are like asking a kindergarten kid “do you want free candy ?”. Now there’s a pattern more so. If the chick is glossy magazine cover model hot then the man will take 3 seconds before answering. 1 second t o register her existence, another to picture her naked and the third to realise she;s way outta his league. If she’s regular everyday girl hotness the same thing happens. Now surprisingly the same happens with not so hot girls. You know the not typical hot but from some angles she looks attractive. Again the three second rule applies however the second and third change. During the second moment the man is busy glamorising her. Maybe he’s dressing her up in a nurse’s outfit or as a school girl or as a cop. And in the third moment he’s going to try and get her attention or hit on her. She;s not so hot so he stands a better chance. I never understand this fuckin philosophy but well. Now Men are after looks of course. It plays a big godzilla penis size part in the decision (as if). But since we are men we are smarter we leave no option unfathomed. When asked if he would do an not hot at all ugly girl I find a lot of men saying “yeah maybe after 5 beers”. Fuck it makes me laugh so hard I can;t tell you. Now I did a similar thing for women. I am a guy who’s bored after 10 seconds of nothing happening around me. I need to invent these things trust me.

Now most women when asked if you’d do this guy don;t say “NO” like most guys expect them to. Ok now if you are a guy and if you are a chutia then write it on the board 1000 times. “women love sex” Get it ! They are not angels don;t fucking bathe them in milk. They are humans just like you and me, dont make their lives miserable and boring by putting them on a pedestal . It;s amazing how many guys who are smitten by that one particular girl say “she’s not that type of girl” Stop trying to fit her to your model of the world. Stop trying to fix her. But anyways most women before saying that they will do him will often try to imagine how he is as a person what he would say what he would do and how it would be like. Now the variation is staggering. But still when I club it in cubes some of the things are common throughout. Of course I am not gonna share my secret knowledge here (insert loud devilish laughter here). Maybe I’ll write a ebook and sell it for $29.99 each. (insert devilish laughter with the intro of Pink Floyd’s “money”). I swear I love the way women think and they act. It must be beautiful in a logic free world. Something just came to my head. What’s the best example that women are fucking confused and don;t know shit about what they want ? Let’s see. 99% women say they want a guy with sense of humor and how it’s one of the most important things ever. But then shouldn’t they be lusting after comedians rather than fucking so many humorless rock stars. I find it adorable even demolishingly cute how women act. That;s why I like being friends with them. A lot of people of course still have problem accepting that a man and a woman can be just friends. But yeah the problem arises when they get attracted to you and you wanna be just friends. Anyways I am sleepless, hungry and thirsty and my Plane is about to land. Hopefully the landing gear will function the Pilot will know his shit and I will stay alive to post this to the blog. Hasta la vista Babies !

Girls girls girls part 1. !!

2007-10-28T14:11:00.000+08:00

there are Principles that i have followed all my life. Embedded deep inside my head they are almost tough to let go of. One of them is the backtrack. I go around meeting new people and fucking everyone in town once i find someone worthwhile, someone worth keeping. it helps me put things in perspective especially about if i really like that person or not. fucked up thinking but well it has worked. If you can;t get on the train coz you are afraid of dirtying your shoes then the train is gonna leave baby. it;s the filter. Uv25000. It wasn't much of surprise when irish girl turned up drunk at my house. I expected her to do it on her last week in india. she just broke up with her boyfriend and she had to turn up at my house. I saw her car and flash of her bag and held the door open by the time she walked up the stairs to my apartment. she hugged me and held me for 30 seconds. when friends fail you, you seek solace in merciful strangers. she suggested we drive down to the city of osho and seek peace. Right !! 'allright' i said and wore my slippers and sat in her car. Now irish girl is a special nutcase. she;s tall shes thin lean mean. knows multiple forms of martial arts and is a natural redhead. So i had a full on kill bill goin on. The faster she drives the faster she talks. I swear i didn't speak a word for 3 hours at least. We were drinking and we were driving on the highway. It was just 5 am. as mr.saul hudson once said 'it's five o clock somewhere'.

Last three times i went, have hated the city of osho. Too much trobule it is. and i have romanced the shit outta this city. I really used to liek it once upon a time. But here i am sleepless, alchoholised, food less shopping around with a redhead irish girl. This city is pretty psuedo. i fucking feel like shooting the pseudo book discussers hounding the Cafe coffe's. WTF.

irish girl obviously likes me. she's half a decade elder to me and maybe i am just a rebound for her. she spend the whole evening talking about sex and the tantra positions. this was the one good thing of the trip. the crash course in tantra sex. I swear i never knew these things were possible. i knew during the trip would come a moment when the sexual tension would burst out of her. where i would honestly contemplate squirting every little bit of the orgasm out of her. Little was i to know that i would be saved by the one person i diss the most. i think in the past i have written about the gorgeousrich girl. maybe i should call her gorgeousrich stalker. She always manages to find where i am at. but this time it was ME who managed to find her. Irish girl was steps away from my dick which was when my eyes spotted gorgrichstalker. i swear i have never been so happy to see here all i had to do was invite her over and she and her bubbley self would demolish any damn state anyone else was in. you could be in your horniest uber romantic self, but ten minutes with this girl and her talks of shopping around the world could make you the fucking dalai lama. end result : irish girl spent the drive back rather quite. I still am very fond of her, but well the only way i'll be attracted to her will be post a LOT of irish-isation, if you know what i mean.

I believe that beauty is everywhere. You walk into any good club in the city on a weekend and you will see tons of gorgeous girls. But what i really can't seem to find is a person with an awesome personality. a funny, smart, kind, intuitive girl. I don;t know about other men but i meet more average living-in-a-glass-prism girls than i;d like to. But i guess it;s a part of the story. You have to go through a lot of trash to find the hidden gem. Still it irks me a lot. this was when i met the reallyfunny girl. she's one of those girls whose incredibly funny, has never been in a relationship coz she;s way too happy with her own life. She doesn;t wear makeup and is adorable. I virtually spend 2 hours chatting with her. She laughed at all my jokes (it takes some brains to decipher my cryptic sarcasm) and i can see that she's obviously attracted but she;s too inexperienced to ever know what to do in these situations. she's the kind of girl you wanna get cosy with. But i know i won;t. She's far too innocent and the last thing she wants is a guy like me to be in love with. and well i already had other things in my head. gorgeousrichstalker was in my house afew days post osho. she didn;t even have my address i don;t know how she finds these things. As usual she turns up with shit loads of presents. she came to know i had a new house and she baught curtains cushions wall clocks etc etc etc and turned up at my house. she does this all

tha time. she tries to buy my affection. This woman is singlehandedly responsible for screwing up two rather intense relationships i was involved in. but i feel bad for her. Sometimes i think i am all she has. disfunctional family affairs have left her scarred. I care about her but her acts sometimes get me in a fix. so here she is and just like always i gave all the stuff back. it doesn;t feel right. but i liked one of those curtains so damn much. she has this way of getting you hot and bothered. she's belissima and unfortunately rather good in bed. Here i am on a chosen path of no sex and i have this woman with her devilishly angelic face sitting next to me. i don;t know when is this gonna end. I sometimes think this will go on forever. She will always keep appearing like this and screwing up my relationships maybe. Maybe i should just fuck. I mean the last time we did it was gazilliant !i am a face guy and she knows it. and she also knows how to make the best of the faces. fuck me running ! if it wasn;t for a phone call of lovely friend we'd be sweating it out in my master bedroom. I swear this bedroom is a bit jinxed. Since i have moved in a lot of girls have come in but none have got to see it yet. the last key of the chain hasn;t been joined yet. it;s ironical. it's as if fate somehow interjects the moment a girl is about to step into my bedroom and lose her clothes. i swear it;s spooky how it happens. anyways this is just one blog post. i have so much more to document. i don;t even know where to start. I am travelling more than i'd like and i have a hunch that the next few weeks are going to be interesting. I think this is how it will be. always. the girls and the vagabondism. i really thought i had found a muse you know.

Frustration in G# minor...

2007-09-30T01:09:00.000+08:00

I swear I must have around 40 little stickies full of chord progressions, hooks , ideas around me and I sit staring at the logic screen. Now too much tech can be bad. All to get a good melody and the hook . It;s the hook baby. Let;s try the drums alternating on the downbeat and the little snare shuffle. Bass yes we need bass. I am thinking james jamerson meets pino palladino bass slides every alternate line thingy. Still the song;s not kickin it. The melody will gel but I need the colors. The colors to make that perfect little word in that condescending line to ring and ring in their ears. Nothing. Zero blank. Am I pushing myself too much am I too critical ? Shut up ! Did srv every think this. When he was making those great blues records did srv said no I am pushing myself too much let me go have a beer with friends.

So I dont take friends calls. Saturday everning in the studio. Maybe I should have a name for the studio. Ridicoulous thoughts. Ok wait this is it. Play the piano Yes. 20 mins down the line I have 10 more parts. Maybe good for other songs ...yeah that part no.4 definately could use in that other song but still nto coming. It;s just not coming. 40 mins into it and I am doubting all of my skills talents third eyed vision about composing to the Z. Maybe I need to read yes let’s read slonimsky. Thesauraus of scales and melodic patterns. I swear I must’ve read it like, 2 and a half times already. i read blogs where people romaticize their lame lives. No more. Let;s listen. Pop in some bbking no wait, maybe some justin timberlake. Still not coming. In the search for the lucidity blessed melody. How do you sing the saddest song in the happiest of ways and get the point across ? Does people listen to lyrics anymore ?

Maybe the beatles, learn from the beatles. They say no one can help being influenced by the beatles. Maybe that’s whats wrong with me, the ignorance of the beatles. But It’s too late to follow that plot. I play a latin groove. This has estefan written all over it. Arghhh. Hopeless attempts at making the complete melody. It;s way too easy to loose the creative confidence but the good part is that it;s even easier to get it back.

36 hour of non sleep and i have songs !! that;s the beauty of music, it paints oceans of colors to write sadness with..

viz a viz

2007-09-16T22:36:00.000+08:00

- it;s not wrong that i don't have a plan B. I decided to play the game like i have nothing to lose, and so be it.

- I found your emails in my old inbox archive. They made me realise that no one support me and believes in me as much as you do. even now. It's a pity you are not around when it's all happening.

- i just don;t get angry anymore. Except about trivial things. for some reason people can;t understand why i can always keep smiling.

- i still hate the smell of ganja and dumb girls

-

someone clean out my ashtray please...

2007-08-21T00:12:00.000+08:00

I am super angry. and since i am too lazy to go out and get some fucking dinner i am going to starve myself and spend the whole night smoking marlboro's and bangin a piano...

Written with pencil...

2007-08-18T20:58:00.000+08:00

It’s time again for the soul searching trip de facto shit. I can't feel the music again, I need a break from this city and other reasons. So i spend a week without internet and 3 days without a phone and penned a lot of thoughts on paper which i will replicate in the posts to come.All these posts were written on paper with a hb pencil. Damn, I can’t recall the last time I used a pencil. by the way i love stationary shopping !

Sometime back I was involved in an emotionally abusive relationship. This girl would send an e-mail/Text threatening to kill herself and when I would call her repeatedly post that, she just won't pick up the fucking phone, making me worried and anxious. That little thing which happened quite a few time with her left a minute scar in the back of my head, the presence of which I noticed recently. In fact every time I call up someone and they don't pick up the phone I go through the same feeling of withdrawal as I used to then. Funny how the fucking brain is. Stupid connections our brain makes. So I dislike calling up people I really like.

That relationship also left me not wanting to be with anyone and just crusin around. Which I did by going to parties meeting glamorous girls who wanted me for what I could do than for what I was. There were girls who seemed cool at first only to reveal their ‘undesirable’ side later on. I had no hope. All women were fucked up.

*********

And then one day I walked into this bar. She was quite a vision tho she claims it was just something she threw on matter of factly. She wiggled her nose when she laughed and drank like a guy. The music engulfed us and her hands felt cold. She looked at me with ' you are not going to mess this up are you ?" eyes And i ended the night by giving her a 'i will protect you from the rain and thunder' hug. surprisingly.

I met somebody recently. Somebody whose so special that she made me suspicious initially. What's different this time ?

Well for starters I am not my usual bastardly self. I am not lying or cheating or playing games (how i got over this is another post or 5). Just the occasional fears that come from all the jackassed-ness that i have been through in the past. i have a lot to loose, coz if this fucks up then well.. We both already discussed it. Funnily enough the troubles already started because of other people and we are unnecessarily getting affected by it. My friends think I should get the fuck out asap. she has situations continuing from the past she can't avoid. But I see something in her that I can't quite describe. I always know when I am gonna leave a situation, with this one I really don't.

She has a lot of issues resulting from past mistakes. People came and changed her as they pleased. and it doesn't help when i get into my shell sometimes. A part of her thinks i am going to be yet another mistake and a part of me know that when she's close to me with me and i confide in her things that i have wanted to for some time she will find a large chunk of her doubts disappearing. And Her little void filled with a little love.

However, somewhere along the line we both decided that this is not going to fuck up. The past will always haunt us and we both have had enough fucked up relationships between us to make us cautious abut this one.

For me it's already easier to erase each and every past fucked up thing coz’ it all led me to her eventually. She gets suspicious too easily and is going to take her time. She has a big mess to clear and i tell you when I win that Grammy and am walking down the stage after my acceptance speech chances are she won't be congratulating me but most probably will be asking me why I was standing so close to the woman who presented the Grammy and was I flirting with her. Damn she's cute ! But the world can bring it on. We'll just show everyone the finger and elope to Prague.

I can't wait to have her next to me. It feels like it has been years since I saw her last. I can't remember the last time I wanted to kiss someone so bad. This is crazy exciting. I am keeping myself in check. She hates it That I won't say it all on the phone. But I know that when we are in person, the passione is going to be incomprehensible. There’s something that I saw in those eyes of her that makes me feel that this is going to take both of our breaths away in the times to come. This is going to get better, after all is there any safety in numbers, if the right one walks out of the door ?

p.s. for the most part of this post i was talking to myself ! hmm
p.s.2. i warn you ! this blog is going to get more and more "dear diary"... for the sake of records and lack of memories-space in my head !

and while i am at it..

2007-07-31T22:50:00.000+08:00

i love studios' the wooden finish, the carpets, the near field speakers and the silence. i will so end up owning more than one of them someday. But it irks me. Most of the studio owners/operators know jack about sound and music. A recent record i had intended to produce, i got mixed by a indian sound guy and then a swedish guy. Both had relatively equal status as far as gear is concerned but the quality of the swedish mix is way far ahead. I don't know why in this country we are so backwards. i sat through a bollywood mixing session. i didn;t know wether to laugh or cry. the way they discussed beats and there was virtually no sheet music used. Amazing how some people won;t spend the extra 4 hours recording a real flut but rather use a sample. Just because Diddy does it don;t mean it's THE way. fucktards. But well i doubt that the drunk people at the drunk clubs that this song will play in will give a shite. Anyways as a musician it's insulting. If you are using samples you better have a fucking good reason for it. now if you are black, wear baggy clothes and a bling bling then it's a whole diffrent ballgame

***

I am getting too much into blues and acoustic song mode. I need to break out. confining myself to genre's is one thing i hate. the other day i pick up this beauty of a guitar overdrive it and absolutely failed to come out with any progressive riffs the likes of which i used to churn out at the speed of f2007. Hence i spend the last few hours listening to obituary and korn. it's virtually impossible to find people who listen to quality heavy shit. Crazy it is men.

***

it's not funny how many times i get asked to sing pearl jam or John mayer. they aren't even close. they are decades and genres apart. But i get asked to sing these two artists a lot. then when i start to sing 'oceans' or 'love soon' no one knows these songs. it always has to be 'jeremy' or 'your body is a wonderland'. honestly i think with most artists, there are always unpopular 'b' sides as they were known , which are way more nicer and fun. i think it;s the secret voice of the artist for other artists. these are the songs i have put on b side and only artists or people with souls will be able to fathom em.

***

I definately think sex and good music are related. Not during but more like before. sex before music or music before sex but never during. Morrisson got blowjobs during recording songs and look how that turned out.

***

i am falling in lvoe with ive mendes. her version of if you leave me now reminds me of lips, wetness and grey eyes.

head to toe in mud

2007-07-26T23:12:00.001+08:00

i spent an hour discussing music and the future of popular music as might be with my dear friend ken. it;s inspiring to say the leastest. Ken is an industry pro who puts all his passions and sweat into making music and helping musicians churn out delicious songs. the songwriting process is starting again. i am sitting here with 100's of bits of papers 3 guitars a handful of keys and bits and bits of soundclips i have recorded on the beach in pubs on airplanes and while walking the streets. putting them together giving words and shaping a song. i feel like a kid in a toystore. it's time to go underground. guitars check. microphone check. pen and notebook check. muse check. bottles of thumbsup check. this time i will start by writing a song in french. i dont know the language but what the fuck. i spend the entire evening listening to september and how inspiring they are. as an artist you have the freedom and ability to fly onto this unventured onto plane and create oceans and mountains and stich rainbows together. the view is breathless and the green fields harbour countless trees. trees with no ghosts hiding behind them.

i need a waterproof guitar so i can write in the shower. it's been a few hours since the above paragraph and i am liking the sound of my voice. when you find yourself smiling a lot to yourself you know the music is good. i could badly use an ipod to listen to my songs on repeat while i am away from my music. i want someone to talk about my music to. why can;t people respond to music ? why can;t they tlak about it and express how it makes them feel.

it's been a few more hours since the above paragraph and i ended up reading quite a few of gibran's letters. gibran should be kicked in the nuts for a lot of stuff but sometimes when he manages to get his shit together. it isn;t bad. once i was with this girl who was a huge fan. i think gibran turned her into a psuedo. i also read L'affaire Lerouge but i can't understand shit. through eternity men have produced such music out of a few notes. it blows my mind. i used to get insecure and scared as a kid. what if we run out of notes. how will we make music then ? now i realise that the possibilities are endless.

i finally figured out what tattoo i want to get. i am so excited about it. i can;t believe this didn;t strike me earlier. now the only question is where to get it done. so finicky i am. i drew a sketch of a house under pine trees. i still suck so much at it that i tore it away. i like skethcing i wish i could be as good as some of the people i know. actually most girls i know sketch better than most guys.

i realised that even if i am not a musical success or commercially superb my music will still move people to tears to smiles to blushes and to kisses. that in itself should be sufficient of course supported by tons of money. enough to buy a house in positano. back to the music there's nothing else to hide. i am happy.

bottle of pills..

2007-07-25T00:18:00.000+08:00

i hate being sick.especially knee-jerking fever. unless i have sheer cuteness to take care of me, but well i am picky. I just want one particularly adorable cuteness to take care of me.

people are always waiting for the right time, the right moment the perfect timing why ?
anytime will do . anytime is perfect. you can just walk into your boss's office right now and say i quit it takes a second and go on to pursue your amatuer golfing career. or you can tell the girl you want to marry her now. rather than make a reservation hide the ring only to have her swallow it and spoil the moment. Most of the times people just run from the fear. indulging in the fear really works for me. it sets me free. We have more freedom at our disposal than we realise. the more people i meet the more i observe and see the pattern. It's astonishingly similar.

this is it. this is now. this is here. why wait for timing ?

i write this as i amuse myself by tossing cigerettes in a pot. Do you ever finish smoking a cigerette and flick it in the ash tray ? like a game. i am losing 1-12 right now.

does honesty get you anywhere ?

i hate fights. and misunderstandings. and lack of communication.
i just want to sail through endless sky's with you while down below the trees bathe in cool breeze...

enola yb eht aes dna i tnod ssim uoy...i ma niog yawa

2007-07-07T16:33:00.000+08:00

i can feel this eerieness all over. it knows i know and i know it knows. i don't think. the radius of thinking is a second and half in front zero at the back. step + step + step=reach. it started last saturday. it closing over the shell now. i walk i eat i do. i talk to them, i execute my functionality i speak to her. i fold these things and wrap em up and throw em around. the process ends trash the process. back to the eerie. the eerie is staring at me. the eerie tells me how i feel. it throws the term in front of me but doesn't let me feel. It's a trance. i am it. it's not mechanical. it not a zombie. it's a black hole. the trance. the picture flashes eyes register data data reaches brain eerie opens my head up and pulls data out. Data stops. Data is gone. Data is not felt. feelings are data. vein pops. song plays. inside head. i dont frown i dont smile. eerie says smile i smile. eerie says say good morning to x y or b. eerie says checkup on arrivals. i checkup on arrivals. eeries says register data. data in place. eerie trashes data. feelings bucket= minus zero. eerie doesn;t force. eeries doesn;t rape. eeries engulfs. the shell closes. me stands still. and windows painted in black. eerie says it;s good for me. eerie sounds like roger waters. i hate roger waters. eerie says hatred in vein needs apathy. i mouth stfu. eerie fills in with beeps. eerie will become me. only eerie has my trust. eerie says step+step+step=dream. Day by day i feel more and more agressive and stronger and i fly. would i still give it up all to go live in a hut ?

non stop thought writing process.

2007-07-04T01:13:00.000+08:00

i miss dimebag darrell. i had a dream that dimebag darrell told me not to give up what i shouldn't give up. I cried in my dream coz i heard dimebag darrell was dead. I like to not think about it. Dimebag's death that is. i still remember that december and my brother calling me.

"somebody shot dimebag."

I was so sad. It was worse than when ayrton senna died. You don't know waht to think of it, coz it's not like i knew either of them personally. My life won't change. there won't be a void. but still... I was a kid when ayrton senna died. i remember one of the first creative things of my life i was damn proud of. Writing a 'high school' version of as you like it or the twelfth night. I have the picture in my head crystal. i sat with my feet ont he chair as i read the newspaper. Ayrton senna had died and nothing anyone can do about it. Many many years later dimebag died too. It didn;t affect me when mother teresa died or diana died or other similar popular people who everyone lieks to be sad about died. But it still feels bad that dimebag died.

Fuck.

i speak to / Read so many "Music guru's". People are romanticising and over-philosophising regular music or trying very hard to say/write very insightful things about the totally unknown singer fron scandanavia. nobody seems to pay any attention to Metal or Glam or similar such Lyrically superficial(glam) or non brain taxing (in some ways) genre's. Why is no one writing about Whitesnake or Sepultura or even Metallica. It's even as if people are shy to say they like Gn'r and Def leppard.

i Always have such fond memories of the first time i heard a few albums. Like Iron maiden's No Prayer for the dying and Obituary's Cause of death or Sepultura's Bestial Devastation or Metallica's Black album or REM's Monster. It's again crystal clear. It's a very flashback day for me. A very cute girlfriend of mine had gifted me a copy of sepultura's bestial devastation on side and morbid visions on side B. she had written adorable liner notes inside and i treasured it. I can still where i have it stored in my parent's house. i wonder where that girl is ? She had long flowing hair.

I spend a summer trying to work out bon jovi's this ain't a love song and then i decided to learn the basics of guitarplaying first. I have that feeling again. Like i don't need anyone. I can just sit and play and play. and i don't want to figure out first wether this is a 'blues' jam from Gmaj7 with root D. At times i feel possessed. I am not even thinking conciously of where the finger's are going or what's the time signature. It just moves. Triplet of harmonics there moving to a legato and 10 seconds 3 seconds after that in the middle of a passgage a uarter of my brain pauses to reflect on the brilliance of the moment. and then i push myself some more... It's scary. People around me should hate me for this. Why should anyone be my love when in the middle of moonlit exchange of jaggery i might leave to play guitar. It's a black hole.

Pantera hits you like a hammer. As if a crane threw you onto a nailed and rusty sharp edged iron wall. When phil starts singing the demons and the wounds open. Or you wish you had been wronged and had wounds. It's not the release of anger. It's energy. I could punch a wall in the middle of mouth for war. Fuckin' A. Ok here's inevitable. If you are new to this shit and you really wanna get your ass whipped and transported to mojave here's the Top 5 thrash/heavy/death metal albums of all times.

5. Sepultura - Arise
4. Metallica - Master of Puppets
3. Obituary - Cause of death.
2. Megadeth - Countdown To extinction
1. Pantera - Far Beyond Driven

Through swollen eyes, I dreamed you died...DIMEBAG FORVER !

to end this for once and for all ..

2007-06-29T19:30:00.000+08:00

A lot of these days i run into women who are proud self proclaimed feminists. Feminism is as useless/negative/pointless a term as male chauvenist pig. Feminism is a figment of extremely ambitious imagination of some marketing wizards. Most women keep saying how they are :- equal to men (then why is there an NBA and a WNBA ?) as good as men ( so men stil remain the benchmark ? why ?) for me "feminism" would ideally be a mix of freedom and enabling. But what most women think is that feminism is some gateway to a secret society where we bash men and root for "girl power". girl power ?? are you kidding me. Girl power is nothing but just another way to sell stuff to stupid girls. Do you really expect a group of women to fight for feminism or demonstrate girl power ?? women, creatures who have no sense of cameradrie (bar a few). Before an hour is through they'd be bitching, and cat fighting, and gossiping and fighting for control or at best they'd put up a good show and later they will bitch fight and gossip in private. You really think that these people can stand for feminism or girl power. My ass. So the point is that women aren't better than men, women are as good as men in certain respects, yes !. So shut the fuck up with the whole feminism issue.

Does this mean that men are superior. No. Men have their own problems. Fragile ego's. Immaturity etc etc. But at least they don't go around propaganding on some stupid issue. Look at it logically, Doesn't it make sense. Where women keep riligiously proclaiming about female superiority, most men i find are just making silly jokes about male superiority over a beer. Now i also want to say that issues like better treament of muslim women/ women in third world countries is a diffrent issue all together. That's not feminism. that's humanism. So all these superficial women proclaiming that they demand better treatment of muslim women are chuts. I would want better treatment of all humans in not so favourable conditions. Wouldn't you ? wat the fuck is so feminism-ist about it ? bottomline is that men are better in certain ways. We lift heavy things, we manage stupid feats to win over girls and we can drink more alchohol and oh yeah pee standing up. Women have their own specialities. they can have multiple orgasms, they are smarter when it comes to relationships, they live longer and have babies. i believe that as long as classifying and hue and cry about issues like Feminism (chut-ism) and Male chauvenism (proud insecurity) Exists, we can't have harmony. Really do you really need pride and debates about superiority in a relationship ?? think about this. If you think that i am bashing women, then screw you. If you are a "feminist", go die ! if you are a "male chavenist pig", Stop grinning you are no better off.

P.s. the fact that if this was written using big "philosophical" words instead of the street language this would make oh so much sense to the psuedo intellects, amuses me to no end.

...

2007-06-22T04:08:00.000+08:00

did you expect to kiss me one time
while lookin at me with the same eyes ever again...

...

2007-06-15T06:05:00.000+08:00

I know you've been sworn
I read your complaint
you're needing someone older...

and though i've been warned
to live day by day
there's something taking over...

snippets

2007-06-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

There was a time playing rock n roll was fun. The stage was second home. Off stage i was the quiet thoughtful boy and on stage i was iggy pop on coke. I refturned to playing rock n roll on stage after many many years. As excited as i am about these things i was nervous about playing as i am not really used to playing other people's songs anymore. As expected the gig was a success everyone was happy, the musicians i had met for the first time and played with right away were happy and the girls were immensely cute. But as i got off stage and was having a lonely drink, i realised i had no passion. Rock n roll didn't set me on fire. Where was the fucking fire ? Maybe it's coz i was playing with strangers. Maybe it's coz i can't do the whole rock n roll thing anymore ? why don't i feel the music anymore. Am i dead. It feels like something's dead. and no i am not 30 years old yet. I'd rather write poetry and set it on fire.

Cute girl who claimed to be a bass player. that's hot isn't it. But 10 mins into the conversation over a drink i had her whole life figured out. I hate it when demoshingly cute girls turn out to be dumbasses. And since i am not in it for just sex anymore...There are no cool girls anymore. All of them are desperately trying to fit themselves into stereotypes. but then it's true for most people. she thought we should get together since she comes to my city so often. Yes thats all i need right now, an inter city relationship. but i amused myself quite a bit with my line. After a long time i used a line. i told her, "i want a woman not some little girl". i am so deliciously rude sometimes, its brilliant ! And also don't drive on a rainy night at 4 am through the hills. It's very dangerous and at times you are only lucky to escape alive...

...

2007-06-04T20:40:00.000+08:00

You're not the perfect hand, But I dont hit on nineteen...

should i play or should i dope..

2007-05-27T17:44:00.000+08:00

The other day i was forced to sit through a ridiculously boring concert.Yet another set of "good" bands which totally sucked ass. i hate going to most concerts. I am too involved with the music to go and "head bang". And if they are even slightly bad i totally reject the band and get out of the place. Zero tolerance zone. But here i was being forced and i had no choice. As band after band went through their sets. i sat at the bar sipping my drink. After a bit this boy with long hair came up and said hi. Now i am so not used to men walking up to me in bars saying hi... i had a WTF look on my face.

He went on to tell me who he was and which college he used to go to. and i thought he sure doesn't want just a matchbox or something. why would he gimme his whole fuckin' resume. However he explained further that at some point in the long long ago's i had performed at the amphitheater of his prestigious engineering institute. Well i was flattered that he remembered (esp. since i have cut my hair short now). He went on to tell me that since he was one of the organisers, they were hanging out with the musicians after the gig;drinking and that i had given him a guitar pick (plectrum for the stupidly uninitiated). He told me he still had that guitar pick and went on to take it out from his wallet. i was astounded. He said and i quote "This pick is the sole reason why i took up guitar and formed a band".

This was the single best thing that happened to me this week. But when he told me that it was his band that made me cringe as they butchered Metallica's master of puppets, i wondered if i had done the right thing by giving him a pick. If i had a gram of cocaine for every bad band that i have seen performing i would be a super rich drug dealer now.

Fuck you all.....

2007-05-22T10:23:00.000+08:00

the 'What the fuck' day of the year is almost here for me. The fucking birthday. I don't crib about one more year or one less year and apart from the usual mood swings pre b'day i try not giving much importance to it. This one is different from all the others.very different. For the first time in a really long time i don't have a girlfriend or hordes of friends around to wish me birthday/go partying etc. which also means no birthday presents (wtf am i ? 9 ). All the new friends i have in the city i live in currently don't know my birthday, the ones who know are bound to forget. except a few. i also do not have any negativity around me. No people who could have any negative influence or disrupt my life in any way and i am incredibly happy about it coz i made a huge effort to chop off those rotten strings.

i really never knew what to say when someone says happy birthday to you or the dreaded "many many happy returns of the day" urghhh. Since thank you is not a word i use often, i always say "same to you". Which people take as a joke though i mean it in a very Tabasco sauce dripped sarcastic way. worst are the ex-girlfriend calls. so now to get away from all this superficial birthday unpleasantness i have devised the perfect plan. the phone shall be switched off from 11 pm the night before, primarily giving a buffer for those fucktards who call an hour in advance coz they wanna stay on the line till 12 and be the first ones to wish. Phone will remain switched off the whole day of the birthday till the morning after. no emails will be checked or online presence displayed. And to avoid the bastardly few who will turn up at my place, i plan to head out to the city post breakfast and come back only late late night. so i am effectively not going to hear any "happy birthday to you" through the day. Motherfucking birthday. people call people meet people give presents drink alcohol go home and sleep. what the fuck is the point ? king for a day.....

but i do have a few birthday wishes... well i am a sucker for presents. think fat kid in candy store cliché. The best present i ever got was a black zippo. that was a fun birthday. she looked nice. She had swell tits...

i really really want my ex-bff to quit smoking. but the biatch she is, she won't. I mean if someone who was really important to me wanted me to quit smoking i would without a hiccup. I am simply not important anymore.

I want a super big half pineapple/half black forest cake. and a pack of Romanian lucky strikes and una bottiglia del mio vino italiano favorito.

i want bush impeached/executed/raped by gay brotha's/..... scientology exposed for good.....return of the big classic rock bands......mumbai renamed bombay......gorgeous girls to be smart....new cure for cancer....

It's amazing how confident i am that i can never have a happy birthday in the true sense. i can already here some of my pld pals saying "it must suck to have a birthday without any surprises". now that i think of it the best b'day i had was probably when i was 8. I can't finish this post this is getting fucking ridiculous. I am outta here..

Monday evening, coffee shop, ice cream, a delayed US airways flight and tags..

2007-05-14T20:38:00.000+08:00

Jerry, the one guy in delhi who i'd like to meet for beer and discuss rock n roll, tagged me. But i have no fucking clue what he means by my terrible truths. I sudddenly feel bad about my life. Fuck i haven't hidden any bodies in the backyard, peed in the church or sexually molested any kids.. till i realised that i don't really need to have the cliche'd terrible truths. So let's see what are the terrible most things about me (from a regular motherfucker's point of view of course.)

>>> So many people love the idea of sunshine crawling in through the window to wake them up but i Can't stand light when i am sleeping. I need pitch darkness. the whole idea of draw the curtains in the morning and wake me up with a kiss doesn't go down too well. i need darkness. people who know me closely often chuckle at new ways i device to block any light. And while we are at it, i just can't seem to sleep. And if i sleep i can't seem to wake up. and for some fucking stupid reasons ALL of my fucking girlfriends had the habit of patting my head when i am asleep. Which is bad because i will wake up in an instant if i hear a pin drop or feel a finger layed on me and get in my favorite martial art position.

>>> I'd rather kiss my woman than get a blowjob (which is very bad according to the book of how to be mas-kyun-lin). As gay as it sounds there's something in a kiss or holding someone that isn't in a blowjob (aren't i the genius). Most girls don't know how to give blow/hand/foot jobs anyways. But kisses are like poetry. i also hate the idea of labelling your relationship or whatever it is. i also hate that people always remember how it ended. i'd rather remember the good times. i don't want to classify my "relationship". I just want to be in the moment. Literally in the fucking moment. i don;t want to "go on dates" or fix a "movie date" for two weeks after or plan my whole fucking sexual life. Two people of the opposite sex who like each other are capable of much more than a fucking stupid relationshhip no matter how "harry met sally" or committed it is. that's all i am interested in, no more average encounters..

>>> i form my opinion of people within minutes of a first meeting. i get this vibe and i always have my ways of listening to people and deriving meaning out of it. And it has rarely ever been wrong in which case i most often become good pals with those people. So it's a win win. Of course i am constantly condemned for this bastardly condescneding act of mine and labeled a judgemental biased racist person, which is kind of ironic. Well if i had a dollar for every time my opinion about somebody was ignored about my friends and they got fucked. i didn't even fel like saying "i told you so". It's freakishly funny how many times i am right..

>>> i dislike most people. i dislike dumb, superficial (the social kisses kinds), incomepetent, orthodox, serious, mama's boys etc. etc. etc. I always expect people esp. the ones who work with me or are very close to me to be extremely smart and always be their personal/proff best ( not towards me but towards their life/jobs) and when they fail i just rip them apart. not everyone likes it. But there's nothing i hate more than people who are stupid and superficial and want to make everyone happy and will never admit they don't know something. And yeah i also hate the ones who have the utter need to have 900 friends on their orkut/myspace/facebook and to have their phone ringing every 15 minutes and go out every night esp. saturday. the utter social cosmetic spiders. So yeah fuck all these people. Oh yeah i hate psuedo people too. who listen to bob dylan just coz' some stupid book told them to... oh yeah i also can't stand people with a very very lame sense of humor and who make cliched jokes.. and also the people who ask me "how are you" everyday... WTF could change in a day. i usually tackle all these people with utter sarcasm which in most cases is very funny for those who can understand it, but these fuckers just don't get it...

so i hate most people, i am judgmental about new ones i meet, i get pissed in an instant only to calm down in 500th's of a second to kiss somebody as my other hand draws the curtains to stop any light.. Can you imagine how perfect my life is without the unneeded people, bad blowjobs and ultra violet rays..

day of hunger

2007-04-26T01:43:00.000+08:00

one of the ruthlessly brilliant things about Bombay is that i get to have food/drinks at more than one of countless brilliant food joints i love during the course of a day. As is no secret there are more experimentive/world class/uber cool eating places in Bombay than anywhere else in the country however i am a sucker for those little guy places, the one hiding behind the lanes and taking effort to find.

There's nothing like a early morning at Fort. and as crazy as it sounds there's nothing like a beer breakfast at Leopold. Yes leopold as in shantaram leopold. but anyways the good part is that these guys start serving you beer as soon as the shutters are raised. a good idea before you indulge in the beer breakfast (if at all you are crazy) is to take a walk down and around the causeway. Most cities are pretty in the morning but south Bombay is simply stunning. Gateway of india is way more serene when not crowded. anyways back to leopold, forgive the rude waiters they are simply not that polite. the breakfast is super european (read salt/spice-less) thats why i always need beer to drown it in. Usually that early in the morning you will find only a few foreigners. People who landed in the city early morning or hashish dealers. Sometimes a certain gregory roberts will also be found parking his Roayl enfield and ordering his kingfishers early in the morning. Copycat i say. It isnt really as much of a food factor as it is a feel factor for me. Get a table where you can look outside. Bang opposite you can see people going to olympia for their early morning cutting chai. Olympia by the way is another awesome food joint. Probably one of the best biryani's in bombay. And if you ask the people at olympia were's their toilet they point you to the leopold Loo across the street.

Speaking of food factor one must go to jimmy boy. It's a pain for some people to locate it but it's bang next to horniman circle (i call it horny man circle). i ended up going there with this "fabolous couple" from Delhi. There's one main guy who takes your order, explains all the dishes for you and recommends you stuff. I commissioned him to explain to the said couple, what a few of those dishes were and i personally recomended lagan nu bhonu for them. the poor fellow went through the whole menu for them while they kept eliminating all the choices and finally the guy whole-ly frustrated, recomended kebabs which they gladly took. Of course after finishing the kebabs they loudly proclaimed that they get better kebabs in their delhi. I wanted to smash my head against the floor so that it would take the attention away from the fact that they had ordered kebabs at a parsi joint.

See parsi food is lavish food. it's pretty much impossible not to like it, but one has to really know how it goes. I mean we all know someone who goes and orders Vegetarian dhansak ? that's like ordering vegetarian kebabs and fruit beer. to eat at jimmy boy is a must. If thou knowest shit about parsi food then thouest be good to order a dhansak (which by default is mutton in a gravy made with pumpkin, brinjal, methi bhaji and pudina among other things), with the dhansak you also get the wonderful mutton cutlets which according to behram contractor are fried in egg batter and "half drowned" in a sharp tomato gravy. Also the patra ni machchi (pomfret), which comes wrapped in the leaf and you can virtually feel the aroma filling the space around you as you slowly unwrap it. If you are a vegetarian then my condolences.Go die. It's a pity that such joints have to put things like kebabs on their menu to lure new customers. but kudos to aspi irani's taste that the place still maintains the old world decor and the vintage irani chairs. Oh yeah dont forget to have the sago wafers and the gajar achar. which not only tastes good but is also brilliant to be used in pranks to be played on unsuspecting friends.

the last place i landed up on was peter cook's way up north at 4 bungalows. Peter is authentic chinese. he along with daddy and 2 brothers ran to india many many years ago. He spend years falling in love with the food in calcutta before he came down to Bombay. In fact when you meet him you just might recognise from the many TV ad's he has done. He's the go to guy everytime they need to put a chinese guy in an ad. Peter and brother run this restaraunt so it's almost like a home cooked meal. They make their own noodles and hand pick the vegetables. the kitchen is as well guarded as area 51. Picture a fat chinese man with a butcher knife. That's peter's brother. Well if u are nice and pleasent, peter will chat you up and trust me he has some fabolous stories from china, calcutta and even bombay. Like the story about how he met his sister after 35 years or the chinese language newspaper printing in calcutta. It's so important to live in a city with good food being served in interesting places. Yes the hyderbad has best biryani and mangalore has best some other thing but would you really travel all the way just for that ? Well i wouldn't need to ! i Have my Bombay !

Luckiest bastard !

2007-04-16T23:01:00.000+08:00

So this guy on the train is in terrible hurry, he's obviously got some terribly important work to do. Maybe save the world from terror, stop global warming, Fight Bin Laden or something as important... Of course he has to.. how do i know ? Well let me ask you, why/how would anyone get themselves in This Situation below :

He's lucky enough and he got advice from smart fellow travellers who told him to not move his body at all, that he still ended up like this:

Lucky Bastard ! I sure hope he played the lottery this day !! Man life in Bombay doesn't get boring ever does it ?

mi amore Bombay..

2007-04-15T05:10:00.000+08:00

Stanley pinto wrote about the 60's Bombay...The article had me dreaming. Maybe that was the right time to be in bombay.. well who am i kidding , anytime is the right time to be in bombay.. It's generous that Good music still exists in Bombay...It still has places which are known for a spcific kind of music (not just popular)... So here goes..Inexile recomended Musical places in Bombay, if you are visiting then thou you must go..

(Not Just) Jazz by the bay : you like jazz ? you like rock n roll ?.. head on in without any inhibitions. the place is crowded on the weekends, the crowd is not exactly young but knows its music.Most of the people are weekend regulars like most of the bands which play there.. if you are lucky you will be able to catch the best Soul band in Bombay aptly named Soul Shakti.. oh and during the week they play concerts on their big screen and their karaoke nights are the best in Bombay..!! Make sure you know the words to suzie-Q!

Ghetto : Go in, place an order for beer, ask the guy for paper/pen and write your song requests. they will play them all if they have it... That has been my optimal strategy, tho i usually just write band names and let them surprise me..The place is dark very UV and you can write your drunkard thoughts on the walls... Some of the best unknown music, i have heard in this place.. .Till i became a regular here, never was i stumped as to what Rock band was playing on the speakers no matter what pub i went to anywhere ever.... this place had me stumped on my first visit and damn its annoyingly sweet to discover new music...

Toto's garage : A good time is to go Past ten.. Though the leg space is as much as on a virar local at 6 pm...the music is sweet (black velvet to pull me under) the place is noisy and smokey and the beer tastes good.. If a Football match is on then you are in luck... it's even better !! and yeah there's a guy wearing sunglasses who roams around in the pub, He is satan ! even if you are a poor starving bastard of a rock n roller go order a glass of beer and french fries.. will cost you just 100 sweet ones ! it's a bit spooky that everytime i entered toto's the last few times i went, they were playing Freebird, which is sort of like an anthem per moi...man that guitar intro !

Zenzi : You like experimentive music, lounge, world, jim morrisson wannabe's playing solo concerts after smoking afghani hash ? Go here ! Outdoors indoors smokey fluid-y this joint has it all... Lots of pretty girls.. though let me warn you it's not exactly a beer joint.. unless you want to dash out 250 big ones for a little pint of beer !!

The Razz Rhino : the Razz Rhino at one time was what cbgb was to ny and whiskey is to LA... ALl bands wanted to play here. the crowd knew their music, this was pure brutal rock n roll. period. Though it was intented to be a disco-theque, somewhere along the line it became the de facto rock n roll court...It has started the whole trend again with bands playing thru the weekdays and the weekend.. Bombay hands down has more amateur rock band concerts per week than anywhere else in the country.. Must visit if you belong to the Black t-shirt Brigade!Warning:Expect a mosh pit,tattoed long haired guys and Fire Breathers!

Ok now i'll let you all go on to read stabnley pinto's nostalgia laden article.. To the city of midnight, marine drive and auto rickshaw neon lights !

A man called Chris Perry died in Mumbai a few weeks ago. The news didn't send even the tiniest ripple out onto the turgid waters of this restless megalopolis. In its headlong rush into tomorrow, Mumbai has become a city uncaring of the yesterdays from which its today is cast; constantly moulting, constantly and unconcernedly shedding memories of times past.

Chris Perry is one such forgotten memory of the great jazz age of Mumbai that once was Bombay. Alongside Hecke Kingdom and Norman Mobsby and Tony Pinto and Neville Thomas and Seby Dias and Sweet Lorraine and Wendy and... but I'm getting ahead of my story about the long-ago-and-far-away nightlife of Bombay. A scene of a hundred (or so it seemed) jazz dives and cabarets that made Bombay the centre of India's entertainment world in the 60s, 70s and 80s.

I discovered this exciting world as a 16-year-old in 1959 when I ran into Dorothy Jones on Colaba Causeway. Dorothy was the pianist who accompanied all comers on the late great impressario Hamid Sayani's Ovaltine Amateur Hour over Radio Ceylon, the FM radio of its time. Teetering on impossible stiletto heels, her red hair crowned by a magnificent tres chic turban, she enveloped me in a deliciously bosomy hug. Hello luv, how lovely to see you, do you still sing, how is your piano playing, you must come and see us at Berry's, come to the jam session next Sunday morning. And she was gone in a cloudburst of Channel No. 5.

Sunday morning couldn't come around soon enough. When it did, I ducked my sainted mother after church, dashed off to the nearby railway station, and ten minutes later there I was at Berry's little restaurant, just past the Tea Centre on Churchgate Street. The band was already swinging: Dorothy at the piano was the Marian McPartland of Bombay's jazz. Her son Robin on drums, the elegant Percy Borthwick on bass and behind the largest dark glasses I'd ever seen, Dennis Rosario, a magnificent guitarist in the Barney Kessel style. A reed of a man, Georgie Rich, who later became a good friend, was doing a Mel Torme on Sweet Georgia Brown.

The joint, to use Cab Calloway's signature phrase, was jumping, and in ten minutes it changed my take on life in the fast line. I'd discovered the magical, mesmerising, unashamedly decadent and just slightly seedy world of life and dark.

At the far end of Churchgate Street, just across from today's Jazz by the Bay (which didn't exist then) was the bistro Napoli. No live band but with Bombay's first and only juke box, very popular with the college set.

Almost next door was The Ambassador hotel, lair of Jack Voyantzis, it's Greek owner, a beautiful woman always on his arm, a giant Havana ever between his teeth. The restaurant at the hotel was called The Other Room and India's most reputed jazz agglomeration. The Tony Pinto Quartet, was in residence. Tony Pinto was a short, bald martinet of a man who drilled his band to perfection in polished, if somewhat pre-meditated, jazz arrangements. The quartet was fronted by Norman Mobsby on tenor saxophone, as aggressive as Coleman Hawkins, as gentle as Ben Webster.

The Other Room was where the well-heeled went to dinner. Every night was black tie night, and you were Social Register if Jack knew your first name and your wife well enough to kiss her gently on the mouth. The wives seldom resisted, I might add.

Fifty yards down was Bombelli's, Swiss Freddi's eponymous restaurant. Advertising men gathered in its al fresco forecourt each evening, sipping the only genuine (or so Freddie said) cappuccinos in town, made from a shiny, hissing coffee machine. A trio played at nights. It was all very Continental.

Right next door, over a fence so low you conveniently held conversations and exchanged criossants for pakodas across it, was Berry's. As Indian as it's neighbour wasn't. The Tandoori Butter Chicken to die for. And the Dorothy Jones Quartet with Marguerite at the mike, as the advertising said. A few years later, after Dorothy and all of her band had emigrated to the UK, I led my own trio there.

Across Berry's was the original Gaylord restaurant. The band was led by Ken Cumine, India's only jazz violinist, replete with soft suits of pure cashmere, a shiny white violin and radiant daughter Sweet Lorraine at the microphone.

Around the corner, just across from the Eros cinema, was the Astoria hotel with its famous Venice restaurant. Famous because this was the jazz musicians' jazz hideout. For years, the diminutive trumpeter Chris Perry led his quintet there. There was the incomparable Felix Torcato on piano; years later he moved to Calcutta, first leading a wonderful quarter and later a big band at the Oberoi Grand, with his spectacular wife Diane as partner and singer.

On tenor saxophone with Chris was his brother Paul, a happy laughing buddha of a man. And out in front was Molly, a singer in the Sarah Vaughn mould, one of the best we've ever seen in the country.

Some years later, the Astoria opened a second restaurant. They called it Skyline and it opened with a young alto saxophonist who was continued over the next three decades to dominate the Indian jazz scene. The man was Braz Gonsalves and what a heart-stopping quartet it was. Xavier Fernandes, the most cerebral pianist of his time, Leslie Godinho, the 'dada' of the Hindi film percussionists on drums and... dashed if I can recall the bassist. I think perhaps it was Dinshaw 'Balsi' Balsara, advertising art director and clothes horse who later went on to become one of Asia's most successful commercial photographers in Hong Kong.

When Chris Perry moved on to Calcutta, Braz shifted to the Venice. The quartet grew into a quintet with the addition of a tenor saxophonist. Leslie made way for Wency, the most dynamic young drummer of his era, and Bombay rocked to the Cannonball Adderley sound. For almost a decade Venice was the meeting place for jazz men from all over the country and indeed the world. Dave Brubeck visited and sat in, regal if a little incongruous in his particular jazz genre. Duke Ellington came two nights in a row after he discovered half his orchestra moonlighting with Braz and the gang. Venice was the Blue Note of India's swingingest jazz scene and would we miss a single evening of it? Perish the thought.

Across the road at the Ritz hotel was The Little Hut. Neville Thomas, one of the most dashing men around town, led a group called Three Guys and a Doll. The luscious Shirley Myers was the doll. (Thirty years later I met Shirley one evening at Jazz at the Bay and she's still a doll!) Later, when Molly returned from Calcutta to marry her piano player sweetheart Mervyn, they took over at The Little Hut for many years.

From that spot, it was a brisk walk past Flora Fountain, where, plumb opposite Akbarally's, were Bistro and Volga, the two most popular haunts of the younger set. Seby Dias held court at Bistro, with my school friend Johnny at the piano and a hugely talented young lady called Ursula at the mike. She was the daughter of one of India's best known orchestra leaders of the big band era. Chic Chocolate, as unprepossessing as Chic was dashing, and just as gifted. At Volga next door Hecke Kingdom's Quartet held sway. Hecke was India's only baritone sax man, a grandfatherly man, gentle and wise. In delightful contrast, the trio that backed him was more mischief than a tribe of monkeys. Richie Marquis on piano, Percy on bass and Maxie on drums. But what an unbelievable prolific trio it was. There probably hasn't been another like it since.

Off the beaten track at Kala Ghoda, around the corner from Khyber restaurant, suddenly, from nowhere, a restaurant called La Bella opened in 1961. And it opened with a British sextet called the Margaret Mason band, with Margie Mason herself on an enthralling instrument we had never seen before: the vibraharp. As college kids, we swiftly became habitues of the 11.00 a.m. coffee session. All it took was 75p for the Espresso, not to mention the continuous acts of petty larceny to find that princely sum six days a week.

And finally, across from the Yacht Club at Dhanraj Mahal, there was the Alibaba where now stands a Chinese restaurant. George Fernandes on piano, Cassie on bass and Louis Armstrong vocals. Wilfred on drums.

In time, riding the crest of the jazz juggernaut, these niteries were joined by clubs at the Taj Mahal hotel, the Oberoi, the Nataraj on Marine Drive, the Shalimar at Kemp's Corner, the Sundowner at the Sun'n'Sand, and restaurants like the Blue Nile at New Marine Lines, the Talk of the Town on Marine Drive and the second Bombelli's at Worli.

With them came new young stars. Iqbal Singh, the turbaned Navy ensign doing his frantic Elvis Presly thing. Bonnie Remedios, India's Fats Domino. Sunder the Gay Caballero. Not quite jazz but what the hell.

And there was this callow, beardless fellow, barely out of short pants, who sat in on five minutes' notice for pianists all over town when they called in sick. Tony Pinto gave him lessons in jazz progressions so he'd stop inventing �Chinese� chords of his own. Hecke Kingdom advised him to think long and hard about wanting to make this life a profession, not for someone who has a subscription to TIME magzine, he'd say, only half jokingly. And the cabaret girls were inordinately protective of him because he accompanied them on the piano impeccably, not asking for �anything� in return. Then, when he inevitably did, they'd grown to like him enough to gleefully acquiesce. Life was grand.

Till one day it was gone. Suddenly, unexpectedly. Sadly. And much, much before it changed its name, Bombay metamorphosed into Mumbai.

We were left with a handful of memories. Now they too have faded. Sic transit gloria?

things i would like to say to certain people..

2007-04-11T07:44:00.000+08:00

It's 5 in the fucking morning and i can't sleep ! i just can't seem to sleep lately. Roughly 20 hours of sleep i got in the last week or so. What better time to make a blogpost.. since i am in such a good fucking mood...

to the so-called-Bff : Stop calling yourself my best friend and start behaving like one (if at all), the sheer fact that you have nothing to say to me except, hello, how are you's shows how lousy it is. It's not a conversation like it's not a relationship. Be happy in your enriched happy life no need to show it off to me.. Friendship takes a lot of effort which you are obviously unwilling to make unless i tell you what to do when to do and how to do whatever is required to save our "friendship" !! i ain;t helping you, use your head. If you care enough you will come up with something. If not, i won't regret anything ever, i never do ... you want my friendship, show me you are worth.. and i will show you what i got !

to the photographer : why the fuck are you calling me ? i have said too many things to you which were meant to benefit you, you take it in the wrong way your fucking problem. you were a bitch to me and to an extent it was justified but not beyond the limit. I wanted to be nice and a friend to you and help you out, you yet again started thinking from your pussy and behaved terribly maybe it was pms or something, but i haven't forgotten it.... i need no more mediocre mood swingy people in my life who will shit all over the place just coz they are in a mood...which is a pity coz you are a brilliant artist and i would've loved to be your friend.. you will go a long way and shine hard and i will always be proud of your effortless talent..

to the ex-girlfriend : i already said i am fucking sorry for whatever i did but you should understand i had to get away from obsessive you. stop bitching about me to everyone it has been two fucking years. Stop calling my friends, stop sending anonymous messages. You are the reason i don't pick up calls from unidentified numbers. i tried to help you when we were together but you are fucked up. Period. We are over, go away !! your new boyfriend is a nice guy make it work... bad boys are fun but they always leave...

to the girl who hit on me today : you are cute and pretty and the sheer fact that you are bisexual will make many men drool. But this is the year of no sex which explains my cold response to your advances. I could see you took it hard but its got nothing to do with your looks or who you are, it;s just my principles. Though it's amusing to think that you went home and looked yourself in the mirror and tried to figure out what the fuck is wrong ?

to the other best friend : i thought you had turned into a cunt and i thought your girl controlls you too much. but you have hit big time and the climb has just started, and i am so proud of you. the sheer fact that you still converse with me everyday and value my opinion makes me feel glad, i have a friend as humble and level headed as you. your talk the other day made me feel motivated as i haven't felt in a long time. i have a terribly uphill climb but the sheer fact that someone as critical, hardworking and smart as you believes in my powers and ability to do it all flawlessly, makes me want to give the 10000000% Thanks man, it's been a good decade being friends with you.

Afterthaught: You know it's so important to have best friends in life...

the revenge on the act-holes...

2007-04-05T13:23:00.000+08:00

In my experience i find most actors to be big cunts. the bigger they get the higher their cuntness and i absolutely hate it when they come over to the studio for over dubs. Not only do they fiddle with every little thing. all of them will always do some impression of some singer as soon as u hand them a mic. Pissing annoying i tell you. So to avoid everyone in the studio wanting to kill 'em , i make em sit next to me and chat up and find opportunities to be mean to them. So the other day i am sitting with 3 of the hunky,meaty apparently popular actors and they are talking about sex. the three bozo's are discussing how neither of them would ever go down on a woman. the clit doesn't exist for them. the common thought is that it's considered lowly and no self respecting man should ever go down lickin'. That's when sweet singer i know walks in and of course the three bozo's start hitting on her. It's one of those situations where these fucks will talk to me but actually all their talk will be for her and meant to impress her.

Me: so guys, let me ask you a very intelligent question. who do you think is more hot, hugh grant or hugh jackman ?

bozo 1 : dude we are not gay ! maybe you should ask her this (Grin)

Me: Of course you aren't gay, but we are all mature people and just because i ask your opinion on guys it doesn't mean you are gay. I mean i like a lot of male actors and that doesn't make me go want to suck their balls and fuck them in the ass. Geez man grow up.

Bozo 1: Oh yes of course. hmm.. i think jackman is more hot, he was so cool in X-men yada yada yada

Bozo 2 and bozo 3: yes yes yeah yeah !!

Me: so say you were a chick, who would you rather do , hugh jackman or george clooney.

Bozo 1: i mean i am definitely not gay but say i was a chick, i would totally do clooney, i mean jackman is good looking but he's got no face

Bozo 2: yeah and clooney has class and style and men with style are so cool yada yada yada.. (5 minute speech).. so who would you do ?

Me: Ewww yuck Nobody, i am not gay...... and you guys are such gay motherfuckers (pointing at them and laughing)!!

I have no idea why i just posted this. I need to go out do something fun. Inexile hates bollywood.

The days of 137- disco beats are back...

2007-03-31T19:00:00.000+08:00

Maroon 5 are coming out with a new album finally. They were the ones singing about Jane remember ? It was one of the better bands to come out in the new millennium and their album from start to finish was a gem, demonstrating their mastery over un-orthodox time signatures and devastated with heartbreak down to earth lyrics. they are releasing a new album and a few days back i heard the first single that they are going to release soon. Their sound is absolutely new and refreshing,very unlike the previos smash hit album. Very brave move for a new artist i must say. However Its clear that Jane's heartbreak is now over and the boys from Maroon 5 are ready to enjoy their new found success and create a new sound entirely. go listen to 'Makes me wonder' !

click here to listen to the song ! I am curious if people will like this song ! Please be kind enough to leave your review in the comments !

still on the same trip : Inexile's dirty guide for seducing hot/gorgeous women !

2007-03-27T19:47:00.000+08:00

Around hot women we men act weird. The blood rushes through our body, sweat flows, heartbeat reaches 240 BPM we can't think of anything to say and BAM , not to forget the constant feeling that she thinks of me as a fool and is going to make jokes about me to all her friends and oh my god they will think i am a loser and my face will be on the cover of time magazine as the loser of the year. Yes i personally know guys who run all these scenarios in their heads. Well most of us do, some are worse. Hot women can do men a lot of damage, if handled incorrectly.

First things first, All women are the same. Hot or not hot. All of them have a lot of things in common. though a hot smokin lady can make us go booozangoo, deep down inside she's just a regular girl. Like other women she also wants a guy who can bring something real out of her who can make her feel and see new things yada yada yada... For the record every time i mention the word woman/women in this article ,think gorgeous/hot/Anne Hathaway !

For someone who gets a lot of attention/interest , ironically a gorgeous woman is starved for genuine interest. People overlook her behaviour simply coz of her looks. guys treat her better, she gets to cut the line , men buy her drinks/gifts and suck up to her constantly. And since she isn't getting that guy who she desires, the one that will see the true her, she simply chooses to accept these handouts along the way. She is rewarded for acting bitchy/superficial. Period.

Secondly, Talking to a woman isn't supposed to be work !! For some strange reason we men assume that we must be uber interesting or fascinating to talk to a hot woman ! NOT TRUE ! If you think this then you have fallen into the hole she dug for you consciously/sub-consciously ! If you TRY to be an amazing guy then it simply shows your lack of self confidence. It won't take her a minute to figure out that you are trying to prove your coolness to her. Talk about regular things, confront her and get her to act like a real person rather than hide behind her superficial veil. If she can't then you don't need her (unless you want arm-candy in which case you don't need to read this post).

Repeat after me " A hot smoking gorgeous woman will not be attracted to me if i try to win her approval". Period. [no you don't say period]

some rules :

] Act sweet and Tough at the same time. show interest but destroy any bad behaviour that she demonstrates. Have higher expectations of women you want to show interest in. Just coz shes gorgeous doesn't mean she can act bratty.

] Always tease Her. If she asks you a question and you think she doesn't care, then tell her with a smile that "You don't care about that, you are just trying to make conversation". she's used to men being carpets, the sheer fact that you have the balls to tease/counter question will set you apart.

] A hot woman always chooses to find things interesting. they are quite a pain that ways. Usually if you have a nice face and a 6 pack she will find almost everything you say interesting (to a point). Don't be interesting/entertaining all the time, expect her to put in an effort. ALWAYS expect a woman to meet you halfway, never go all the way by yourself but at the same time remember it's not a tug of war match.

] There's a HUGE difference between sarcasm and Flirting. Sarcasm is negative. But a mean thing said with a smile can be flirting.

she : i am a model, i host a travel show and i posed for the Pirelli calendar and you can see me in the new calvin klien ad and the upcoming usher video !!

you : (pat her shoulder sympathetically) Aww you poor poor baby !!

she : giggle giggle

] If the situation warrants (without becoming weird) Make faces, stick out your tongue,Laugh at her When she can't stop that little burp from passing through. No one does it to her. every other man will be too busy putting across their 'best' image forward. She will love you for taking such 'chances' with her. And always have fun. Never be upset coz of anything.

] If you manage to take her phone number, then instead of rushing straight to your buddies and hi-fiving, give her a call right there and then so she can save your number. hot women mostly don't pick up calls that come from unidentified phone numbers. After 2 days when you call her and get her answering machine then leave a message but Never tell her to call you back. Most hot women would never. and if she picks up then never explain who you are and where she met you. Be confident that she remembers you.

I truly hope this makes sense for someone ! Go get out , the beautiful women are waiting for you.

i feel like a svengali.. !

2007-03-23T16:34:00.000+08:00

i stumbled upon a podcast on vulturo.com. Now as amusing and entertaining as the podcast was i couldn't help but ponder over a few things they were talking about. Of course put three guys together they have to talk about chicks. so the words "getting lucky" came up quite a bit. and they went on to talk about how they get intimidated by pretty women, so much so that even the smell of their perfume is intimidating. Well it's not just these guys, this thinking prevails among a large population of guys. why is this ??

Why is sex getting lucky ? it's not getting lucky for women, for them it's a choice. and it's not coz we men are desperate for sex who can't do without it. Women love sex More than men. then why are guys the ones getting "lucky". Ask a woman what they want in a man. It's the same old story. good looks, sense of humor, intelligence and sometimes a fat wallet but i can bet my bottom dollar on the fact that most women will let go of the last criteria for a combination of the first 3. so what's so tuff guys ? it's never too late to install new qualities in you. even if you are ugly as a fuck there are ways to make your appearance presentable.

and what's the whole intimidation ? there's only one way to get over it. Go out and talk to hot women. talk to them in clubs. supermarkets, bookstores. Just start up a conversation even if it's too ask .. "where's the sci-fi books section ? " Ok wait that's not a good line, unless she wears her hair like princess leia !! so talk to hot women, first few times maybe you will make a fool of yourself. so what ? think of it as net practise ! And never wait more than ten seconds to say hi/hello/good morning/shall we fuck, or whatever your choice of words is.

second make friends with hot women. Women always love to help/improve guys. Take her advice on how to improve your appearance, let her advice you on shopping etc. but never ever ever ever take a woman's advice on relationships. use them for what they are good for and of course make genuine friends with them (unless they are bitchy). Use your hot friend as a pivot to get more hot girlfriends (or a girlfriend if you are one of those guys).

and the perfume thing, i have heard that a lot for some reason from guys. there's only one way. Wear a nice perfume yourself. Save up money go buy a nice perfume and i don't mean that Old Brut or Old spice (tho i love old spice). spend some money. women love men who smell good. these small things which are in your control will go a long way in getting you laid (or find your soul mate whatever).

I hear from my female friends all tha time that there's a dearth of good men around. It's high time all the guys turned themselves over into "good men". There i end up writing about this yet again !!! I swear i could write ten more pages about this. i hope it makes sense/helps somebody !

God is a ....

2007-03-20T16:46:00.000+08:00

TV show writer.. definately . In fact god is a tv show writer who constantly sends new scripts for off air shows to TV heads in the hope of getting the shows to run again. But i am certainly sure god was one of the writer's on atrocious things like friends etc. How i know this ? coz he's writing this ridicoulously ridicoulous scripts full of unfunny practical jokes for my now-a-days !! Now 2007 is the year of NO sex. Yes some of you know this already, some of you have bet the GDP of lagos against it, and some of you just laugh it off . But the fact that y'all do such things makes my determination stronger. The reason ? well too many too write. Now what makes the determination un-strong are things, like the things that have been happening to me in the past few weeks.

Like meeting bisexual women. In the last 2 weeks i have met 3 self confessing bisexual women. Ok so one of them was bi-curious so to say. What does inexile do ? you can't have asexal relationships with sexual women. At the same time i would be shamed to look in the mirror if i broke my rules. Oh did i mention that one of those girls is a singer and the other one a tango dancer. They listen to good music. They dress up nicely, they smile cutely, they like moi long hair and they even drink beer !!! sigh !!

should i/ shouldnt i ? would i / wouldn't i ?
so is extreme making out considered sex ?

waiting for the punchline...

2007-03-12T15:17:00.000+08:00

I have spent the last 5 days partying. I don't mean we go to one pub/club and had 3 beers each partying. I am talking we went to 20 clubs/pubs in 5 days and drank as if each drink was going to increase our country's GDP. Well that's the beauty of my city, it gives you plenty of avenues to indulge. i swear i must've smoked 5-6 packets of benson and hedges in the last 5 days. Extremist. Its either 0 or 100. Hence i drank everything.

There are people who come to enjoy a drink and there are people who come to socialise and be seen. I can't stand the latter ones. there was one such creature in out group. Lord knows i could've drowned her in the sea or flushed her down the toilet. she insisted on flirting with every man she ran into and thrusted generous amounts of cleavage in her best friend's boy friend's face. i can't stand fake people with fake laughter's. My friends say i should adjust and accommodate but well NO. If i don't like you i don't. I can't fake it, you will see it all over my face.

Well if this wasn't enough my friend's girlfriend ended up talking all night about how amazing my friend was in bed and what an amazing erection he gets. now if only you would read some of the old stories in this blog to figure out what a loser he is. At one point i couldn't stop a laughter from escaping and got rude stares from them. Whatever the fuck happened to the art of two way conversation. And while i am at it i feel people don't appreciate humor anymore. I mean just because you make fun of a religion or a public figure doesn't mean that these things will come true or that we really mean them. Jesus why can't people take humor lightly ??? go watch south park will y'all.

btw humorous moment

richloserguy : (sloshed) i am going to order a beer and a vodka and i am going to drink the vodka right after i finish the beer. Rock n roll, i am the rock n roll. livin on the edge.. Yeahhhhh !!

inexile :(bored shitless) oh wow, how Jim Morrison of you.

i had enough of it now. No more alcohol or smoking. To celebrate my no smoking rule i bought a pack of my favorite cigarettes. Now every time i feel like smoking, i take a cigarette break it into half and flush it down the pot. It's time for life changes part 2. I am also back on a vegetables and fruits diet. no more crap. Similarly while i am at it, i intend to cut any connections with all my friends and doubters. If you wanna be my friend you have to give your 100 %. If you want to doubt me as a liar, bastard or any other "names" then you can fuck off. I will still be a bastard though but i know what i give back in any relationship. If i don't get your 100 % back. sorry bosss no can do. It's as simple as that. And you all do realise i am risking potential extreme loneliness by cutting myself from everyone. My way or the highway.

It's a beautiful Monday morning and i am ready to sing some songs. Anyone has any ideas for any off beat non lovey-dovey songs ? i have hit a writer's block.

inexile's self-talk

2007-03-11T16:41:00.000+08:00

Who I am as a guitarist is defined by my failure to become Jimi Hendrix...

walking down a pretty city night at 4 am with neon light thoughts in my head

2007-03-09T16:45:00.000+08:00

she's the life of the party and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane..

2/25 7:03

2007-02-25T09:28:00.000+08:00

A breeze blows, Talking about you
Telling me "go….Go back to her…
Your worries will all , Be over…
When you feel Her hands seeking yours…"

like a soul within my soul
like a moment the day just touched
you be a part of me
and i'll come back to sing to your heart
you'll be amazed how i will...
following just the wind..

Don’t ever let the dream die
'coz Beyond the trees
Your silence I can still hear..
someone will look for me
It can only be you, just you !
and You'll come and discover why
i can love only you ...

i just can't wait for my ten year reunion ...

2007-02-21T19:36:00.000+08:00

an old school time friend managed to bump into me and we ended up going brunching. He's your typical guy. Owns big business , drives a long car and eats only at posh hotels. So that's what we ended up doing, going to one of the 'swanky' ristorante's in town. There he is in his swanky suite and swanky shoes and there i am with long hair and a fab-India kurta !

Me: so watsup ?

richfatmofo : life's good , everything is good !

Me : right !! ok ! nice !!

richfatmofo : you tell me what's happening at your end ?

me: (my end ? no sorry i ain't into anal sex) way too much to keep track of !!

richfatmofo : that's nice !! i hope you are enjoying life !!

me : depends on what your definition of "enjoying life" is !!

richfatmofo : are you in touch with anyone from school ?

me : No !!

richfatmofo : how come ?? i am in touch with this and this and that and them and their s... (names 40 names)

me : well good for you i guess !!

<10> minutes pass by>

2 more minutes pass...

me : (shit shit shit shit shit )

richfatmofo : oh by the way , i am getting married !!

me : what ?? really ???

richfatmofo : (gleaming and proud ) yes !! it's great isn't it ?

me : i mean dude you are so fucked !! but well maybe for you it works !!

richfatmofo : what do you mean ?

me : i mean it's just me don't bother ! i am sure you are gonna love it !

richfatmofo : No No you were saying something ?

me : well it's just me man ! i mean sharing a room with someone,waking up next to her and the sex !! i mean if there is no chemistry first time around . your whole life is ruined !

richfatmofo : (smile gone away) Well ... hmm .... maybe .. i guess... you know i am a virgin !!

me : WHAT ??? dude you are like a few years elder to me ! how could you be a virgin ? there has to be somebody you must've fucked !

richfatmofo : well i wanted to save myself for my wife !!

me : (trying so hard to control laughter ) Right !!

richfatmofo : i mean i had chances ! i went to Calcutta and spend time with a hooker ! even when i went to Germany i hired an escort !!

me : so what did you do with them ???

richfatmofo : well i just kinda held her hand and walked around in a park !! and in Germany i just took her out to dinner and talked to her !!

me : and if i recall ! weren't you gay in school ?

richfatmofo : yes i was ! but ever since XXX broke my heart i haven't had the guts to get a boyfriend ! plus the social pressure you know ! so I'd rather get married to someone my parents like !

me : (orders a double JD on the rocks with a WTF look on his face)

richfatmofo : i guess he went back to being straight ! but i am still gay !! and now i am nervous about having sex with my 'to be'!

me : to be ? hmm ??

richfatmofo : you know , my wife to be !! i lovingly like to call her 'to be' !

me : so lemme get this right you are a gay guy whose shit scared of having sex with his 'to be' wife who is a girl you parents chose for you ?

richfatmofo : yes ! you have any advice ?

me : dude never mind !! you are way beyond the point of advice !! well i just hope that you have at some point in your life seen naked pictures of women so that you can at least figure out what's where !!

---

why men shag and women become whores...

2007-02-12T16:22:00.000+08:00

The other day on a beautifully sunny morning i found myself in the bedroom of a rather free willed outspoken charming young lady. No , nobody was naked or in a 'compromising' position. the lady at whose residence i happened to have breakfast at had requested me to help her style her hair. Now for the uninitiated i am as good with a blow-dryer/hair-care as George w bush is at making war related decisions. But nonetheless being the open minded open to all sorts of new adventure person that i am i agreed to help her. so the setting is this pretty woman with curls in front of a mirror with me weilding the blow-dryer while she styles her hair. since i haven't had my brain so dumbed down for a really long time i had time to ponder over things. and what else could i think of but women.

now while talking to this lady i expressed my view that women spend a lot of time in front of the mirror. Now since they use so many products and gadgets etc. it means that all this make-up-ing involves money. and for women who have boyfriends/husbands it means that the boyfriends/husbands end up footing a large/substantial/complete bill for such beauty-fying needs. now since this process of beautifying takes time/money it directly affects men.because since women spend a long time beautifying themselves , men have less time with them in which they can have sex. So since the "having sex time" is lessened , men shag. so men masturbating isn't coz we love masturbation so much but in most of the cases it is because women spend all the fucking time beautifying themselves. In the defense of women the only thing i can think of is that maybe some men suck so bad in bed that these women use beautification as a tool to avoid having sex.And as far as the beautifying is concerned, maybe they are doing it for the lover they fuck on the side without you the boyfriend/husband knowing about it.

Now there are some men, who in spite of the money/time their wives/girls spend on beautification are left with shit loads of money still. so they have the money and some time but no action as their wives/girls are busy beautifying. so what do these men do ? they go and buy sex. yes the men you see at whore-houses, cheap hotels, strip clubs, getting a roadside blow-job . these are all poor unfortunate men who are victims of the womanly obsession with looking pretty. in fact i'll go to the extent of saying that one woman's obsession with beautifying herself is another's venture into prostitution. It's simple xxx woman spends all her time beautifying herself and hubby dear goes and pays for sex. where there's demand there will be supply.

so the bottom line ladies, is that spending so much time in front of the mirror and wasting so much money is not just harmful to your husband/boyfriend's pockets and your face. but it's also harmful to the male pee pee and many many innocent girls who are forced into prostitution. If you are a self respecting woman then ask yourself "Do i really want to wreck such miseries on fellow women and penises all over the world ? " . Yes, you can make the change. Stop spending so much time in front of the mirror and do your good deed for the day.

Needless to say, the woman in question thought that this was a ridiculous thing to say and continued styling her hair shamelessly. I was left sitting wondering if her rich boyfriend was out buying sex while she was sitting beautifying herself, for her secret lover maybe ? [wink]

reveries...

2007-02-04T18:03:00.000+08:00

So much has been happening since i have written last. I decided not to abandon this blog. No more running about ! I'll simply let people handle the truth ! their fucking problem ! Off late i seem to tell a lot of people that 'something or the other' is their fucking problem. Usually transition periods in my life are decided and fully controlled by me but i can feel a transitioning happening which i didn't intend to initiate. I am alienating myself from everything that was important to me and i don't mind it at all. I am very far from my best friend , physically and emotionally. it was my fault at first and hers for the last year or so and i have given up. I think we will never be bff's ever again. her comments upset me but it's been quite sometime since i stopped feeling the void that has been left by her absence Unlike previous times i am not trying to fill that void at all. i am not enjoying it , i won't put a stop it, i won't make an effort towards anything. I am just going with the flow. Similarly everyone that was ever important to me has been disconnected. Not intentionally. Most of em have been alienated from me coz of their deeds behaviour or pissing-off-ness !

tonight is one of those rare nights when i am in a mood ! A beautiful night out , a rockin concert and midnight walks are not supposed to get a person in such a contemplative state but what the fuck !! i am hearing so much bad news on the health front that it's funny now ! steps are being taken, things they are a changing, any self-respecting motherfucker should stay outta my way !

i am not alone ! i wish i were !

got so split-screened that i took off. Hit the road. hit the villages and towns and the sands on the beach. it took a long day's walk up a fort to see the sea coming back to bed. everyone loves to travel Very few actually do it. Travel does me good. I am more cocky than i ever was. You might have the dolls and the toys. The friends and cups of coffee. The lover and the winding road. The diamonds and the glowing skin. But my hair is poker straight 24/7/365 ! i win !

sigh....

2007-01-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

This blog has been found by the one person this shouldn't have been founded by ! since this person is simply going to indugle in analysing every word i write and judging me, i am forced to shut down this peaceful sanctuary of mine ! thank you to regular readers ! Made some nice friends coz of this !

random-ings !! 2-007, shaken and stirred...

2007-01-05T15:22:00.000+08:00

-yet another new year.. i don't get what's the big deal with new year's is to be honest , the mad mad urgency to be at a rocking party. As for me i was sitting at my new 'home' sipping a little wine and listening to a few opera's. somehow ringing in the new year with alchohol and cigerette butts in a noisy club dosen't appeal to me anymore. No i am not as old as that line makes me seem. So what is the new post in the new year sposed to talk about ? resolutions ? regrets ? goals ?

-My new city is pretty. It makes me fall in love with it all over again and funnily i have made some new friends rather quickly. It's such a contrast from my previous city. How two city's in the same country can be so drastically diffrent is thought ponderingly funny. The new city's makes me want to fall in love with someone again. The other side of me laughs at this thought and wonders how long it will be before i start fucking around again.

-i finally succedded in keeping my emotions in the bag. You know the moments where you have mood swings or feel alone. I figured out a system to overcome that and be cold and neutral. I am kinda excited about that however i am concerned how will that lack of emotional up/down turn will affect me as an artist. Oh well, i was simply sick of feeling alone everytime i had dinner by myself...

-Dave mathews wrote all these songs for one woman, he proposed to her 7-8 times and each time she said no. He ended up marrying someone else..

-I am going and waltzing back and moving into her head.

-I love my songs, or rather beginning to love them. I love my new guitar too. I named her lady.

-Few of the readers on this blog are people i know in real life. I appreciate them keeping quite about this. Tho they are free to judge me as much as they want ;)

-I don't know what to post about anymore... any suggestions ?

here i go again....

2006-12-24T20:28:00.000+08:00

Most people i meet have regular jobs families wives kid girlfriends and a comfort zone. but every time i meet them they crib about the monotonous life, boring routines and they wish that their life could be like mine. i get this all the time. People always envy me and my life. As much as i criticize these people for just cribbing and not doing anything about it , i also realize that they fail to see the flip side. the fucking vagabond life. Drifting from shore to shore.

what's so nice ? making friends and leaving them. living out of a fucking suitcase and instead of a dog your faith-fullest companion is a laptop. you see the sights and you hear the sounds, you kiss the girls and you hear all lies. Eventually nothing to show for it but photographs and passport stamps. what the fuck is so cool about it ? people who constantly crib about a boring life... i wanna ask them? would they be able to fucking handle this ... meeting extraordinary women and leaving them after the most passionest of love making... saying bye to genuine nice friends... saying good byes to corner pubs and familiar streets... it never ends !!!

The people who crib they should just go on vacations and come back to home, familiar surroundings.... tried and tested methods of living. People who have this are lucky. they just don't appreciate it ! I am reminded of the opening theme of 'cheers'. "where everybody knows your name". that never happens to me. People and bars and streets know my name and then i leave. Now i leave again. Yet again. Yet another city. yet more new faces. i love what i do but sometimes i hate this. i want to go hide, cuddle in a bed with someone and sleep for a long time. i want to go send Christmas cards to all the kids i use to play with as a child. I want to write letters to long lost friends and send them prayers. I want to tell her i can't live one more moment without the sound of her breathing. i want to go work for charity's. I want to shoot every panda that won't fuck to save it's species.

the next time you crib and cry about the boring monotonous life. Take a deep breathe and appreciate it. Next time you get the timely dinner and the well made bed and the jog in the morning. Be grateful. If there's anything i want to tell the world this Christmas it's this. Help others and be grateful. Negativity's wouldn't get anyone anywhere. everybody has those moments and everybody sinks down. But ride the wave out. If you are blessed with a home and warmth of caring people, be fucking grateful. and always believe. Belief is everything. I wish everyone a merry Christmas. I hope everyone gets a good meal and friends to give them hugs. I hope the Christmas lights shine pretty and joy prevails. If you are battling the odds then hang in there, what can't kill you will make you stronger. and for everyone who said their prayers and asked for their wishes to be granted i say amen. As for me i will be on a fucking airplane, yet again....

the girls of 2006 - Part 1

2006-12-20T02:13:00.000+08:00

this is the time of year when i reflect back on things i have done all this year. no no i am not gonna repent or figure out mistakes. i am just gonna smirk over the little nice events (girls) that happenned. earlier this year i found myself secluded in a crowded club on top of a hill. the party was in sync and the only person i knew there was wussyartistguy. As is anyone's guess i was shit bored and the only thing that was keeping me titty bitty interested was the curvy model who was posing for pictures under the artificial waterfall. My legs were hanging by the edge of the pool splashing the water. Staring at bikini's isn't really my glass of vodka so i got up from my comfy cold pool side 'seat' to get a beer. When i got back this blondish girl was sitting in my 'place'. Being the polite charming person that i am i decided to stand and hover above her and give her mean looks. It took 30 seconds before she turned back and looked up at me.

I angrily pointed at myself and then at the 'place' by the pool i was sitting at.

gorgeoussmartblonde : [points to her lips and then points to me and gives me a 2000 watt smile]

this single act of cuteness was enough to get my cuteness loving hormones in disarray and i did what any man in my position would do. I let out a very loud ha ha laugh. We sat together and In an hour i knew her passion for her job, her command over 19,000 languages and her smoking habits. 5 hours later we were standing in the balcony of the club talking about her favorite sexual position. she played with her hair, i had my arm around her waist.yes we were getting along like Sauron and the ring. We walked back to the pool to get us a drink each when wussyartistsguy ran into us. By the time i got to the bar and got me a beer he was chatting her up. throughout our conversation i hadn't told her my name, this was a little fun game we were playing and she loved it. and In 5 minutes Wussyartistguy had blurted my life's story out to her and was busy hitting on her using his conventional wussy guy ways.

Now inexile was in a difficult situation. He didn't want to compete with the wussyartistsguy and he didn't want to make it apparent that he was trying to get her attention back. but inexile really liked the girl. So he thought and he thought and he thought and it took him exactly 77 seconds to figure out the perfect plan. Inexile decided to charm and seduce gorgeoussmartblonde's friend stupidblonde and play a little game. Well it seemed like a fairly simple plan. The stupidblonde was cute and pretty and kiddish. Well there was one thing that inexile didn't know. She spoke very very very bad english. Oh bugger !!

In the first 15 minutes all she kept saying was that she liked this song or that song or that "ze beer iz ver nize". time was running out and gorgeoussmart girl was still talking to wussyartistsguy. It was clear that i couldn't do much verbally. I had to do something and i had to do it quick. I had worked hard to get the gorgeoussmartgirls's temperature that high and i wasn't going to let wussyartist guy take advantage of it. But what could i possibly do ? the stupidblonde girl was just smiling and drinking. It was during this moment of desperation that a very very stupid light bulb went off in my head. The stupidest brain cell in my head probably sneaked this through my brain's sensible-ity filter.

I simply, carelessly, threw the blondestupidgirl and her beer into the pool. she was in it drenched and everyone was staring at her. Ok good i distracted gorgeoussmart girl's attention now i had to grab it too. Well i didn't really have to do much, It wasn't long before the stupidblonde girl came out and pulled me too into the pool and that was it. i mentioned to her that her friend was out there all dry and that she should be called in too and bingo !! mission accomplished !! Here i was in the pool with both the blonde girls,I paid extra attention to the blondedumbgirl and totally ignored the gorgeoussmsartgirl. It was working as i anticipated.But now i had one blonde girl too many and worse they were both friends....

gorgeoussamrtgirl : that was wild fun !
inexile : you are so fucking evil !
gorgeoussmartgirl : no i am not ! i am very nice !
inexile : you are a devil ! in fact i am going to dress you up in a red devil dress and parade you down the street.

blondedumbgirl starts laughing !

Inexile ( to gorgeoussmartgirl) : awwww isn't she an angel, i am going to dress her up too .. in an angel's dress and then we can also walk down the street hand in hand while drinking tequila

Blondestupid girl is giggling mad by now and gorgeoussmartgirl is in my court again, turning on her jealousy ignition. It was time to get rid of the incidentals now..

Inexile (pushes blondestupidgirl and wussyartistsguy together) : awww don't you guys look cute ... isn't she cute man ? dude you gotta take some pictures of her. where your camera ?

gorgeousblondegirl was laughing her ass off by now. Of course, now she knows that i am still interested in her and she is also not feeling guilty about leaving her friend all by herself. chicks i tell you. gorgeousblondegirl and me spend an hour in her car doing things straight out of a Russian porn movie. and if it wasn't for the wussyartists guy coming up with some other wussy problem, i would've got to know how she liked her eggs... Well i anyways told her to meet me the next evening at the cafe by the beach and that was it. i liked her and not just sexually. i needed this at that moment.

Next day i landed up at cafe by the beach where my friend coolbartender worked. The place was full of people and hot chicks.It was rather stuffy and annoying especially the euro techno music. I waited for a full 15 minutes. But she was nowhere to be seen. i was annoyed and went out to the parking and sat there smoking. I was angry, i liked this girl and she had stood me up. well not really her fault. We hadn't exactly fixed a time. I was sitting alone in the darkness when a little bike pulled up next to me. Headlights in my face, making me even more pissed. I looked up and stared hard at the light, a nasty abusive word at the tip of my tongue.

"you look bad, are you fine ? " said she

and she got off the bike. the first thing i noticed about her was the Frank Zappa t-shirt she wore. There's a god after all. she came and sat next to me by the road....

"Do you have another cigarette ? " said she...

she said,"you are it"

2006-12-13T17:56:00.000+08:00

The little orange on the table who i like to think of as a brunette long legged girl who loves bunny slippers and rainy days, tagged me . So here, 7 weird things about me.

1. I always let out a big satisfying 'aaah' after my first sip of beer. That for me is the essence of drinking beer. The first sip is always the best

2. every time schumacher was leading a grand prix i kept my right hand fingers crossed till the end of the race. Though I wanted to burn down Germany when they beat Argentina in the word cup and i danced for 10 minutes when Italy won the World Cup.

3. I only give offensive names to people i really like. and the people i don't really care about, i address them with 'watsup'.

4. Of all the new new girls i have met this year, i like/respect only one. Most of them i disliked coz they are constantly trying to be something they are not.

5. I think Pulp fiction is a very average movie. I slept 20 minutes into it. One of the most overrated movies ever.

6. If Music is playing, i can't help but tap my foot,fingers or bob my head. If i don't know the words to a song, i will make up my own.

7. I always keep my cellphone on silent mode.

SO there... off the top of my head... Too much is going on otherwise and i am simply too reluctant to write about it...

sometimes they sting like a dart..

2006-12-07T18:32:00.000+08:00

I love your depression and I love your double chin
I love 'most everything that you bring to this offering

I know that I left you in places of despair
I know that I love you, so please throw down your hair
At night I trip without you, and hope I don't wake up
'Cause waking up without you is like drinking from an empty cup..

Woke up and for the first time the animals were gone
Our clocks are ticking now so before our time is gone
We could get a house and some boxes on the lawn
We could make babies and accidental songs

I know I've been a liar and I know I've been a fool
I hope we didn't break yet, but I'm glad we broke the rules
My cave is deep now, yet your light is shining through
I cover my eyes, still all I see is you...

hey hey honey honey... hey hey ....

2006-12-04T13:38:00.000+08:00

Have you ever received a phone call bang in the middle of having sex ? and the phone wasn't even silent and that ridiculously funny ring tone you took such pains to record started blaring at full volume just as you were biting her neck and neither of you you knew what you had to do ..

in and out and in and out and in and out
rrrringggg rrrrrringgggg !!!

"that's your phone"
in and out and in and out

"don't you wanna take this call"
"just shut up"

rrrringggg rrrrringggg

"maybe it's something important ?"
"what the fuck ? who are you... my fucking personal assistant ?"

So there ! Right when i thought that ..finally in my life i will be able have good sex again ! there are girls who are good girls but turn into evil sluts once in bed . and there are girls who are good girls and turn even more shy and colder once they are in bed. i seem to run into an awful lot of them off late. where are the sluts ? somebody call in the slutty chicks ? inexile wants you if you are slutty and smart and hot !!

anyways the sex got ruined !! i exited her vagina and her house and i was wondering who could call me repeatedly.what could be so important ? who could be this calling me again and again...??

so turns out that famousinsecureguy and richjackass and their respective girlfriends and a few more asswipes are meeting up for drinks at expensiveswanky place. why such urgency ? famousinsecureguy,after the incident with the fakeangelrealslut girl has decided that settling down forever with some girl is the way for him hence he found some eons old family friend who is halfway decent looking and decided that he will fall for her. And since he really wants to be serious with this girl he called upon a meeting of all his closest friends so they could approve the girl. As disgruntled i was at the lame sex with the lame girl i had that evening i decided to crank it up a notch by deciding to join the asswipes.

The first thing that struck me when i reached the swankyplace was the dress code for the evening. It's as if they had called each other and co-ordinated the evening wear. even the new girl. Now there's one thing dressing well and really formal. and there's another thing trying very hard to dress well but you end up looking like a monkey becoz you bought your clothes looking at the price tag and the label without considering whether it will look good on you or not.the disgust on their face was apparent when they saw me dressed in 'unfashionable' clothes. So apparently i still look like a rock band reject from 1971. so what ? the collective prices of their clothes and accessories was enough to pay the national debt of Somalia maybe.

If lack of designer wear on my body was disgusting the fact that i refuse to order any drink was blasphemy. No alcohol please and isn't it a little too cold for juice. they could not understand how someone can come to hang out with their friends at such a nice place and not order anything. that looks so bad !! Rat's ass didn't give i !! Anyways the silence was so thick you could slice it into tiny slices with a butchers knife. everyone looked here and there and at each other and gave the polite smiles.

"i love the fabric"
".. and then i got that executive membership card out and.."
".. should we order another bottle of this " mispronounced gay french name" wine.."

These were all the things being spoken and i found myself yet again in the position of trying to figure out why the fuck do i ever come and hang out with these guys. and not to mention that the new girl is an anorexic long nosed fashion designer girl who cringed when i used the word "fuck" and totally refused to talk to anyone or smile at all. most of the times she checked her watch or talked on her phone. famousinsecureguy was being the perfect red carpet for her to walk all over. when she said she looks bad in pictures he couldn't understand how such a beauty could look flawed. when i smoked he told me to take care not to blow the smoke in her direction. Wouldn't he make a good hubby ? the problem was that she didn't really care about him. and he ended up cribbing about that to richjackass and wannabeartistgirl. yes i Will repeat. He is cribbing to his friends that the girl he wants to fall for doesn't care enough about him.

richjackass : that's a Nice scarf you wearing !
famouseinsecureguy : i wish somebody else thought that too !

i really didn't know what to say. and i really didn't want to say anything. the new girls started talking when the conversation was about her. Suddenly she had found a tongue. she simply wouldn't stop talking about how she had won some beauty contest and how she painted some great wall and how she loved photography although when i asked her what camera she used ? she said and i quote "digital camera". the reaction was instant. As soon as the new girl started talking wannabeartist girl also started. And at one point i swear, they were contesting with each other about how cool their dads are and the new found friendship grew so deep that they were so sure that their dads would make the best of friends.

and all the while this was happening. I was sitting in the middle of these two girls. so all the cross talk was literally going through me. i counter-reacted by blowing the smoke all over. but well give a woman something to talk about and she goes whooosh. Thankfully at one point they had to leave. While going to another place i was asked what i thought of the girl. Being the nice polite generous person i am i said that i thought she was a "self indulgent bitchy person". they shot daggers. I laughed on the inside. what i simply don't understand is that if these people dislike me and my views so much then why do they like hanging out with me ? why do they give those side hugs and pretend to care oh so much about me and my whereabouts. Enough !! No More Head Trips !! Walk on home boys....

virgin girl and the wussy boy:afterstory

2006-11-28T14:51:00.001+08:00

Well so everyone knows the story till now. the cellphone and the stalking and the richjackass. The story after that is rather .... got me in a twist kinds. After the cellphone throwing night, They met a few days later and apparently fell in love. don't ask me how i don't know what the hell happened ? but yes reports confirm that this happened. This was quite a few years ago and they are still together. Now that is a totally different matter that not once have i met them without them getting into a fight over stupid things. Not once have i seen them talk/walk/do anything like people madly in love do. usually they just meet for drinks sit quietly find something stupid to fight over and go home. Usually she is all over him and calls him darling and he in turn makes fun of her religion. All her friends think he is uber cute and ultra cool but i get a feeling they do it just coz they are her friends and don't want to make her think that he's a useless fuck, after all he does drive them around doesn't he. The cellphone incident is totally forgotten and in fact even if you bring it up they can't seem to remember anything like that ever happened.

Apart from all these amazing things that i told you about their relationship they also like to gift expensive things to each other and write really cheesy corny testimonials on orkut for each other. And finally they are at the brink of getting engaged and bar a few blocks in their way they should be married soon. He told me she is his soul mate and he can't marry anyone else. I didn't think it would be appropriate to remind him of all the beautiful names he called her when they were having a huge fight which continued for many months OR how he "tried" many times to cheat on her but well that's another hilarious story in itself. when i asked what makes him think she is his soul mate he replied," coz she gels with my friends, listens to good music and likes the things i like." er um aren't soul mates supposed to be in "love" also ?

Ok now i am gonna give y'all a secret. You all know richjackass. I am serious all of you regular readers know richjackass more than you all think. Remember the Richboringguy and the Digital Diary ! Well yes , richjackass and richboringguy are the same person. I know it seems unbelievable that one person could pull of such stunts and but yes he is extremely talented at wussy-ness. Well what can i say ? he's a funny guy.

of virgin girls and wussy boys

2006-11-25T10:40:00.000+08:00

long legs and stockings. I love those. That combined with the fact that it was a cold fucking morning preceded by a sleepless drunk night fueled by loud music, ensured that she appeared a lot more prettier than she was. That can be forgiven still. But the fact that she was a dumb stupid girl with no opinion of her own was enough in itself to ensure that i held no interest in her whatsoever after 10 mins of 'conversation'. And to think we had to spend the next 24 hours together as a part of the traveling that our respective groups were doing , to the same destination. she met me she disappointed me but her friend was cute.

the trip was over the fun was had and It had already been a month since our trip when somehow i thought of her friend one night. I was single as always and i still hadn't been found the love of my life (though we crossed each other's paths at some event, something we didn't discover till later)
Anyways the only information i had about that cute girl was the email address of the stockings girl, lets call her wannabeartist girl. so i emailed wannabeartist girl, we talked, became sort of 'pals' before i figured out that her friend moved to some other state. Well being the passionate Take-life-with-both-breasts guy that i am , i moved on and went out and met some other girls. Now what i didn't know what that behind my back a 'friend' of mine had fancy feelings for wannabeartist and had started pursuing her. Let's call him richjackass ! Now mind you, pursuing means different things to different people. This guy has been quite a mellow non-smart types whose entire world revolves around the expensive perfumes he keeps in his maple wood closet and the exquisite MP3 player in his car. So he started off by emailing her, then texting her and finally calling her after about a month of talking to her. From the place where she was studying to the place where she went to shop he was everywhere and always ready to drive her around etc.

wannabeartist was a virgin girl in every way. 22 and no boyfriend yet. No sex no lip-locking no one sang the love songs for her. not that she is ugly. I would say she is socially good looking. she was enjoying this attention from richjackass and made it extra tough on him. He kept following her around for about 8-10 months like this but to no avail. He asked me my advice on this mater of ultimate concern and i told him to ignore her and pull a 'taming of the shrew' while he goes and meets some other girls too. He executed my instructions by meeting her the next day and taking her and her friends out to a movie. So there... so after all this struggle it boiled down to this one particular night. when i was visiting for a few days and he took to me to one of those 'hip parties'. she was going to be there. He was going to ask her out. Or ask him to be his girlfriend or ask her to marry him. Same thing i guess. I assumed that he had been with her for a couple of month and they had long passionate late night conversations and now their passion was so explosive that they had to fall in love eventually. Well little did i know what the true story was.

there we are in the parking lot of the huge mansion where this party is to be. I learned 30 minutes after reaching there that we did not have the invites to the party. When he said that she would be meeting him, it meant that she would meet her in the parking lot or something ! well great !! thank god i carried a hip flask ! it was a rather cold rainy september night ! So there we are an hour went by and still she isn't coming out he keeps calling her and i am wondering why the fuck did i ever come here ? the grass below is wet so is everything else and how long can you sit inside a car for. So after a long wait she comes out to meet him. i heave a sigh of relief. she announces that she has 5 minutes. He starts urging her to stay longer and she keeps saying no. It was ridiculously funny from where i was sitting. Here i am sitting on the car desperately waiting for the part where he confesses his undying devotion for her and she kisses him so we can go get some beer and there they are fighting over how she should stay longer. but for what ? so this is going on and it's already 15 minutes since she has been here. the tension is mounting and there ain't a light cloud in the sky.

finally he tells wannabeartist that he loves her and it would be so great and she would be so kind so as to go out with him and be his girlfriend and blah blah. Whatever harry-met-sally-ness or french-kiss chemistry i had envisioned wasn't present ,instead before my eyes was something more like a bollywood scene where the heroin turns down the villain coz she is madly in love with the hero. So there, she pretty much told him to piss off in as nice a words as she could. He didn't give up, some brilliant spark in his head made him go down on his knees in the wet grass and the words still echo in my head sometimes when it's a full moon night or when i see full house reruns. "I beg you to please love me". that right there was the most ridiculous thing i had ever seen (but it was still no.2 in my list of ridiculously wussy moments i have been a witness to, No.1 of course being the richboringguy's Digital diary') she heard his 'magic' words and her face was still stone. She told him to stop the drama and get up on his knees as it was ridiculous. I am not sure what sort of a nuclear fission thingy happened inside him that he took his cellphone and threw it at a wall nearby. Kapow smash !!

She was shocked. He was angry. I could barely bury the sparks initiating a full scale laughter. why would he throw the cellphone at the wall. Is it some secret way of showing your affection that i don't know about ? or maybe it was under 30 day return warranty ? or maybe he really hated that cellphone ? or probably.. maybe it was her cellphone ? well anyways... as i picked up the pieces of his torn cellphone ( i knew he was too proud to pick it up himself and smart enough to not leave it there) i hear her telling him that they should meet someday for lunch and discuss this. She understood how he felt but she had a party to go back to. Seeing that he had gained some momentum (maybe coz of the cellphone event) he told her that he wanted the answer right now (wat the fuck ? is this a bleddy exam?). She said no and walked away. so what does our jackass do ? he got in his car and started driving alongside her, telling her to get inside the car. Of course she would not and she promptly went inside that huge mansion she was partying at. Our jackass decided to follow her in and tells the security guard to open the big iron gate so his car can go in. the guard says no. Jackass argues with the guard, the guard pulls out his gun and jackass drives his ass away. Oh yeah all this while i was still in the parking lot watching all this and enjoying my benson hedges. After-all i had to let that huge gust of laughter out of my system.

that was a day and now is today. Does anyone even want to know what happened with that couple after-all ? does anyone want to take a guess ?

born to be a wuss : part deux

2006-11-23T02:42:00.000+08:00

so as y'all saw in the previous episode..there i am with the richboringguy and the superbitch and their friends. And i just called her a bitch ! and the nice boys and girls have gasped !

Inexile : dude she's a fucking bitch ... you have a girlfriend now.. and what you got is good ! why the fuck are you letting this bitch in again ?

richboringguy : STOP calling her a bitch !! we are just good friends hanging out ..

Inexile: Does your girlfriend know you are with her.. ?

richboringguy : yeah of course !

Inexile : ok let me call her.. check if she's ok with this..

richboringguy : ok ok wait .. no she doesn't know. i just wanted to meet the superbitch, for old time's sake .. check up on how she's doing !

inexile : in this noisy hip hop 'club' ? why can't you meet for coffee or lunch ?

richboringguy : ok dude enough with this already ! now just get along with everyone ok ?

inexile: no way man !! she a fucking bitch ! and she gonna eat you in !

richboringguy : fuck ! stop calling her a bitch

(superbitch is acting really upset now)

inexile : dude.. i am gonna walk out and wait for you outside , if you come with me cool .. or else i'll remember that you walked out on me for some pussy !!

Inexile walks out and smokes a cigarette. richboringguy doesn't show up for at least 6 minutes which i assume he needed to pacify the superbitch. richboringguy comes out !

inexile : cool let's go somewhere else and get a beer !

richboringguy : i am staying !

inexile : are you sure ?.. ok then ! piss off !

I didn't speak to him after that for a year. He had insulted me his friend for a bitch ! i couldn't believe it ! i really couldn't ! i would never walk out on a friend for a girl ! and it's not just coz of the fact that i get way too much pussy ! it's what real men do ! camaraderie ! you stand up for your buddy ! you be the wing man ! so anyways a year went by and it wasn't until his girlfriend's birthday that he got back in touch with me. Poor boy needed help organising the party. But wait the superbitch story doesnt end here !!

Superbitch has a hubby who travels 6 months a year for work. He's always out. she gets lonely. She needs someone to talk to. someone to dine with. Someone she can be comfy with and feel safe. So hence : richboringguy . richboringguy thinks that her hubby is wussy and isn't great so she wants richboringguy to fuck her. He isn't able to fathom yet that she's just milking him out. and not just this, he also made his girlfriend and superbitch meet. they three had lunch together and superbitch went on to criticize his girlfriend in every which way. richboringguy also started seeing all those faults in his girlfriend after then and has treated her like shit but that's another amusing story all together. He keeps mentioning all the time how he and the superbitch could have been so happy together, even in front of his girlfriend, someone who he wants to marry. The other day, earlier this year richboringguy wanted suggestions for a gift. To be honest i wasn't surprised at all by what he said next.

inexile : who is it for ? watsup ?

richboringguy : superbitch is coming back to my city.. i am taking her out to lunch and i wanna buy her a nice welcome back present ! what do you think of ear rings ?

need i say more ?

Born to be a wuss : part 1

2006-11-21T17:34:00.000+08:00

I have known richboringguy for many many years now. He's a typical brat Rich show off dumb conventional person. Many many years ago richboringguy had a girlfriend, superbitch. and There came a time when their relationship hit an all time low and it came to the point of an inevitable breakup especially since she was soon going to get engaged to some guy. richboringguy didn't give up his hopes, in an extremely filmy manner he wanted to go and win the girl back before she got married. and guess what action did he take to get her back ? He told inexile to call her up and convince her to love richboringguy. Inexile , being the good team player called the superbitch and superbitch calmly in her shitty voice explained how she just couldn't love richboringguy anymore and that inexile should explain it to richboringguy. It was a calm conversation and inexile understood that richboringguy's chumpyness had driven her away.

Richboringguy didn't take this news very cleverly and he decided that he is going to show up at her work place and make that one last effort to get her back. So here we are on a sunny late winter day and he's taking inexile out shopping to buy a gift for her. somehow he is under the impression that he can gift her something and bingo ! she will feel love like never before. Eventually and don't ask me how, richboringguy , some how according to some torn twisted logic figured out that he is going to gift that woman a 'digital diary'. pause . yes go ahead finish that laugh. I was shocked to hear that idea, i tried to argue against it offered to write some poetry for him instead but NO, he was sure that this digital diary is the key to her heart. Inexile didn't want to miss the fun of it all so he accompanied Richboringguy along on the mission.

so here they are sitting outside her office for 20 minutes or so, wiaitng for her to come out.

Richboringguy: i am not sure if this is her office ?

Inexile : (priceless wat the fuck look on his face !)

SO eventually Richboringguy decides that we will go wait close to her house coz she will be home soon. So there we are one right turn before her house, waiting for her car to drive in. Richboringguy is on the road waiting for her car so he can stop her. Inexile is enjoying a very nice view of the scene of crime and some chips and cola he brought along. (yes i actually did bring it along). so finally the superbitch turns up , Richboringguy flags her to a stop. Superbitch has a disgusted look on her face as soon as she sees Richboringguy. He is grinning mad like a clown tripping on acid sitting in Disneyland Paris. They talk. By they talk i mean he talks and she looks everywhere else. Eventually he gives her the gift wrapped thing. she refuses it and refuses to even open and see what it is. Richboringguy isn't a wussy who will take no for an answer so he insists that she see it. She still says no. So richboringguy unwraps it himself and show the single most important gift which captures all the feelings, the thoughts the emotions he has for the superbitch which he has for long left locked up deep down in the bowels of his empty soul: The fucking digital diary ! She was silent. I think she couldn't make out if it was a joke or if he was serious. I think that gift and that particular moment cemented it for her. The fact that he wasn't the dick in the shining armour that she desired. He wasn't to be her one and only. This last move had done it. The emotions of the moment were such that , whether disgusted or pissed she took the digital diary out of his hand and smashed it on the road. It wasn't the pieces of plastic and chip from the digital diary that lay scattered on the tarmac. these were the pieces of his heart. One for each day he had been a wuss a slave to her wishes.

My packed of chips finished (i still remember what flavor) and she walked away. He came back sat in the car, i didn't know what to say. I felt bad too.. tho very little. He got what he deserved. and then he said the line of the year.

richboringguy : you think i should go pick up the pieces and maybe the shop guy will replace it for me ?

I didn't know what to say. any hopes that i was harboring of him being a little more sensible and learning something from this incident were shattered. Well this was the end of superbitch. Or so i thought... coz a few years later Richboringguy called me to a 'hip' 'club' in his city. Took me a bit to find the 'club' and techno isnt my kinda music but my evening took an even awfully twisty turn when i saw the superbitch, now married , sitting right next to Richboringguy, talking as if nothing had happened over these years.

richboringguy : (smiling mad) hey inexile you remember superbitch ?
superbitch : hi !
inexile : you are such a fucking bitch !
superbitch : (acts like she is hurt)
richboringguy : If you say that again i am going to be pissed !! show respect !

Richboringguy had never spoken to inexile like this. He was supposed to be a friend. and now he was ready to fight with inexile over a bitch who walked in high heels all over his heart and treated him like shit...

..... to be continued... (too tired to type)

Number forty one ..

2006-11-20T03:31:00.000+08:00

Remember when I used to play for
All of the loneliness that nobody
Notices now...

The Lord and The whore : hour one

2006-11-19T18:20:00.000+08:00

Tamed bitch ! blinfolded ! keeping her legs together ! unsure ! her head resting on his right hand ! his lips on her neck ! she's still unsure ! she can't see ! he might have ten other people in the room ! She feels whor-ish ! his fingers slide down ! undersides of breasts are rather sensitive aren't they ? he likes kissing her cheek ! she likes his whispers ! his leg slides between her legs ! she presses her pussy against his leg ! the itchy whore in her reveals tenderly ! His palm spread over her breast ! his teeth at her nape ! his finger makes concentric circles around her nipple ! he presses his leg against her pussy.. with force ! her hand grabs his arm .. with force ! she feels his hot breathy voice over her ears !

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair..

a pull on her hair , her head tilts back ! he kisses her full on the mouth ! taking away her lower lip ! bites ! she gasps ! he makes her wait ! unknowingly his hand reached her clitoris ! He's priming her ! she squirms she moans ! she listens to him breathe ! she wants to fondle her breasts ! he pushes her hands off ! she can feel his hot breath ! his face over her body ! hot breath on nipples can be rather..intoxicating ! the breast in his mouth, little flick of tounge on her nipple,his teeth bite ! she squirms she moans ! bitch in the heat ! soft lips suck on her breast ! it's all played in slow motion ! he gazes upon her naked body ! smiles to himself ! touching the clitoris is an art ! Lips sucking ! tounge circling her nipples ! fingers playing the clit ! her head still restng on his right hand she says ..."Oh God !"

prettyexflame returns: aftersex hours

2006-11-18T16:16:00.000+08:00

" i find it so funny that i was always scared of anal things, now i can't stop fucking with my ass during sex.you know ?"

"yeah. i know. i find it so funny that a few days back you were a bitch to me and now you can't help falling so madly for me."

The Lord and The whore : Nightly hours

2006-11-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

As you walk me to your place i am going to stare at your ass ! i want to put my hands in your belt and pull you back towards me. a little sting on your neck ! I should be able get a glimpse into your life by taking a First look around your place. you must like having a place to yourself. i like to think you take time out to walk around naked sometimes secretly wondering if anyone is watching. If i am here to spend a night with you i want to believe you are smart and creative and un-satiabl-ey horny ! I don't want to know how many guys you have or have not brought home. small talk is passé-d. i want to know you are sexually confident enough to welcome the night's proceedings with openness and not hide beneath the shadows of meaningless conversation;playing hide and seek.

Arouse me , entice me , Put on a show for me ! bend over the table slide your hand inside your panties and look over your shoulder , meet my eyes ! Wearing nothing but your heels you sit, legs spread on the sofa and rub your wetness between the fingers and the pussy lips. I am going to sit on a chair, cross legged and smoke a cigarette! watch you work ! make me ache to touch you ! Look straight through my eyes as if you were reminiscing on the memory of this moment ! Close your eyes as if i am not even there.. but Let me hear your presence ! I am gazing at your tilted head and the tension accumulating in your feet ! tonight you be the mona fucking lisa ! the melancholy whore ! the girl with spectacular breasts ! turn me on with your show till our minds meet ! till i start pulsating by the sheer thought of fucking you from behind ! till the point of soreness ! i'd like to walk towards you as i finish my second cigarette! as i hover over you... lying on the sofa.. i like to think that you will look up at me with your big eyes and say "will you treat me nice ?" you'll gasp as i slide my hand from behind your ear along the line of your jaw ! your throat, your pussy and every inch of your body is my fleshly posession for the night ! slide your hand in my pocket and take out the blindfold ..

huh and they say ex-girlfriends are bitchy !!

2006-11-15T13:45:00.000+08:00

[pretty girl opens the door]

prettyexflame : why are you always late ?

inexile : why are you always so charming ?
[walks in, sits on couch]

prettyexflame : still the same

inexile : didn't fancy you would respond to my text..

prettyexflame : why ? just because you left me for that bitch ...
[walks away in the middle of making drink]

inexile : when the lid opens only trash comes out..

prettyexflame : you have come here to fight with me ?
[turns around catty look]

inexile : i fight only with people i love...
[smirks]

prettyexflame : ooohhh someone is cocky !!
[pissed]

inexile : take those distorted sunglasses off and then see...
[chuckles]

prettyexflame : i don't know why i like you (takes off top) you are the rudest person i know, i don't remember the last time you said something nice to me, you never even bought me a drink,and here i am back with you.. arghh
[tantrum in full swing]

inexile : ....
[not again, but hey nice bra]

prettyexflame : why are you like this ? look at richstanfordboy last month we went to exotic country to shop and he paid for all the gifts. learn something. And here we are again.. i don't know why i called you.. i am getting upset now .. of all the things i have done for you.
[tantrum at peak, and what things did you do for me ?]

inexile : i still have my clothes on.. i might as well leave then..
[annoyed gets up]

prettyexflame : (takes off bra) still want to leave ? (comes closer to inexile)
[naughty smile on her face]

inexile : do they misbehave as much as you do ? (fondling her breasts)
[thinks shes such a chameleon]

prettyexflame : sorry daddy !
[translated: spank me till i cum all over]

inexile : let's fuck ..

shhhh...

2006-11-14T04:44:00.000+08:00

Neon shines through smokey eyes tonight
It’s 2 am - I’m drunk again it’s heavy on my mind
I could never love again so much as I love you
Where you end where I begin is like a river going through
Take my eyes take my heart I need them no more
If never again they'll fall upon the one I so adore

Excuse me please one more drink
Could you make it strong cause I don’t need to think ..

feel no shame coz time's no chain..

2006-11-10T16:18:00.000+08:00

In one of the comments some guy said something along the lines of "in this part of the world 99.99% girls would not talk to you". OK dude !! 99.99% ?? that's sheer over exaggeration !

Maybe it's not the girls. Maybe it's the way you approach them ? If you look needy/nervous/threatening why would any girl talk to you ? if you stare at her from the other end of the coffee shop for 40 mins before you actually walk up to her ..that's not any good now is it ?

OK leave all these factors apart. why should a pretty / cute / hot girl sitting in a coffee shop/library/grocery store talk to a strange guy who walks up to her ??? Ask yourself this.

a) coz he is cute/hot/gorgeous

b) coz he just walked out of a BMW 7 series and his thick fat wallet fell outta his pocket displaying his 8 platinum cards and huge fat wad of currency notes

c) he has a very very cute baby in his arms and a 3 yr old girl with curly hair sitting on his shoulders singing the woodchuck song

d) he smiles a lot, the friends around him are laffing a lot and he seems charming and cool and very nice !

First three are probably outta the direct influence of most guys but what about point D. Look at it this way. chicks go to hairdressers, they spend a lot on looking good. They spend a lot of time being nice. they are smarter than men. All in all apart from the emotions they put in into a relationship they put in a lot in terms of looking good and being considerate and nice to your friends etc.

what do you put in as a man ? unshaven balls ? hair outta nose ? untrimmed stubble unkempt hair wearing that torn pair of jockeys you bought in 1997 ? beer belly ? and those ridiculous burps you are so proud of ? and those unfunny jokes and that needy "i am a carpet" your-self ? and watching ESPN all day long ? and don't even start me about how 'romantic' most men i know are. All in all why should a nice hot girl be with you ?

OK see the deal is when we are kids, little babies, we don't know how to read or write or swim or talk or how not to pee in public. but as we grow up we gradually learn these things. we learn how to read tough words, we learn how to start a blog and how to drive gear shift. But what most of us men don't learn is how to be cool and charming and nice and how to get women. !! it's an art and practise makes perfect. You will have to crash and you will have to burn and you will have to do time if you wanna get a nice pretty amazingly awesome girl that you wanted. If you wanna sit in your pj's at 1 am in the night commenting on my blog that 99.99% women won't talk to you and askin me for my suggestions then listen !! i ain't doctor love or shit. I am just scribbling what i learned from my experiences. you can sit on your sofa and say a thousand things but it's only when you move out and try this shit will you realise your true potential or the immense lack of it. anything that one person can do can be replicated with equal success by another one. Oh and yeah , Always hold eye contact. when she looks at you hold eye contact. When you are checking her out and she meets your eyes keep looking and smile. Don't look away EVER !!

is it international asswipe persons day today ?..

2006-11-09T01:20:00.000+08:00

sadtwistedgirl was my fling many many years ago. she is one of those girls who act cute and talk like a baby and manipulate men. I didn't like her sexually or emotionally and to be honest i can't remember why i ever felt attraction for her. We had a quick breakup and she went on to act like a emotionally manipulated helpless bitch and gained the sympathy of all. i felt bad for quite some times but now i honestly don't give a rat's ass. she is as good as dead for me.

nice person that i sometimes am, I had met her a few months back after many years and she was sad, heartbroken that her present boy friend had let her down (no he hadn't) and she held my hand hugged me and demanded to be treated like "my baby". She was in love with me again and the moment i mentioned i was with someone else she wished me evil. I moved past that and as i didn't give a rat's ass i didn't care. Unknowingly to me (until very recently) she went ahead and distributed emails bad mouthing me. To all and sundry. and it wasn't until one of my ex- girlfriends called me recently that i came to know of this . hmm . Today i found something else that she has been up to to destroy my image. geez. and the funniest thing is that, 5 days ago, when i hadn't found this out she had called me at 4 A.M. to tell me that she was engaged to be married and that he was the love of her life and she couldn't be happier or more in love.

What can i possibly make of this ? she is a bitch yeah ... i am not angry ... i don't feel sad for her or actually for the new guy ... no pity either... I just feel weird to think that at one point i cared about her. I am changing my Phone no's asap. It's people like these that i am running away from. that's why i am anonymous (apart from the other reasons). no one who is reading this blog will ever know me and i like it that way. Also coz people give their real opinions sans bias'. On the right panel i have typed the words "obsessively anonymous" and my nick is " In-Exile". But some genius-ass, irrespective of such clear indications, found a post off my blog and posted it on this desipundit.com website which is apparently a very popular site flogged by many Indian bloggers. In spite of mailing him twice he hasn't taken the link down and i am sure My blog is getting a whole lot of unwanted attention. Last thing i need is someone i know figuring out that it's me (shudder). To quote Michael Corleone "Just when i thought i was out, they pull me right back in". Take off my link From your lame ass site you asswipe !!!

As for their comments about me "needing lessons in punctuation". Well the truth is moi, unlike other bloggers don't sit on a post and edit it repeatedly. What you see is draft one. Period. A rather lousy day but well gladly i managed to make the most of it. How ? Well y'all shall know soon. And NO no women were involved.

P.s. Brit divorced K-Fag. So the dumb blonde isn't such a dumbass after all.. It was the day of the asswipes, See !!

where are you lost soul ?

2006-11-07T16:49:00.000+08:00

the songs were for you and there was a moment
when i felt the love again
and i missed, your customary pre show calls
No, i didn't think of you !
the songs finished the show got over
and i still didn't think of you !
'coz then she took me home

she stood looking out the window ... smoking !
and i had shine on you crazy diamond playing in my head
i tapped along with the hi-hat on the armchair
and looked at her shadow
her hair fell straight 'pon her back and she wore her heels gracefully
for a moment i thought i could even love her
she turned as if on cue and smiled
i gave a fake smile back to her
No, i didn't think of you !

Many hours later she lay naked in the bed
and i smoked by the window
A part of the city fast awake in the middle of the night
i thought of nights we spend looking out the window
at the midnight trees, and the moon and clichéd things
tears welled up my eyes and i still didn't think of you !
coz she came from behind and held me
lord knows in that moment i ...would've given anything
to hold you close..
yet a part of me is so fucking afraid that i will never see you again ...

i can't help it, i am wiser when i am sick .... sniff sniff

2006-11-06T18:26:00.000+08:00

On a constant basis i hear my guy friends talking about how they don't meet cool women anymore and how it's so tough to meet cool girls etc. and it' not just my friends, i hear a lot of men constantly talking about the same issue. What i always ask them is "are you even trying " ?

Usual answers :
I just can't seem to meet any cool women
I saw this amazing girl but she was with her boyfriend (maybe it was her cousin)
She 's way outta my league (bullshit ! )
By the time i had the courage to speak to her she was gone
She didn't seem interested (according to what ?)
She was with a large group of friends (so ? the more the merrier)
I gave her my number and she didn't call me (can ya believe this ?)
all the parties i go to have the same circle of friends

Ok i have a idea for such guys. Even if you go to work 6 days a week and are shit busy you still meet plenty of women. while you are at work, or go to the mall or the grocery shop or the video store. so don't gimme the shit that you don't meet new women.

Firstly figure out what kind of girl do you like. No you horny fuck, i ain't talking about big boobs and long hair. I am talking a little more than that. If you like bad assed tattooed heavy metal chicka, go to a iron maiden concert. If you like the sensitive new age chicka go take yoga classes. Until thou moveth thou's arse, you won't meet any new chicks !

Secondly, contrary to popular notion clubs/pubs aren't exactly the perfect places to meet women. Most women expect to be the victim of bad one liners at these places so their shields are already way up high. Unlesss you are casanova with the looks of george clooney chances are you will be blown out, unless your game is tight. Women will usually be more open at places that they don't expect to be hit at. Meet 'em there to know them better. Unless you want a one nighter with a drunk chick in which case smack yourself and read my previous to previous post.

thirdly, Learn to talk. Learn to hold a conversation. Learn to become charming, it's not tough. charming=nice+fun . Be nice to all, help old women cross roads, see the cute baby in the mall, throw a compliment to the mommy. It doesn't take much and you might brighten someone's day. Practise and you will internalise it and by the time you see that drop dead cuteness personified chick in the sci-fi section of your favorite bookstore, you will be ready to approach her and hold talk.

Fourthly, If you see a girl you like don't wait till eternity to talk to her. What's the worst ? she will Blow you off !! stop playing out all scenario's in your head and just walk upto her and say something cool. and NO, waiting by the loo, so that you could talk to her when she goes in doesn't work EVER. and please don't try lines !!

either you Will screw up and your ego will take a big hit. Or she will fall madly for you and you will have sex in her car right away (right !!). Or she will just say let's be friends !! as much as you think it sucks, being friends isn't bad. you will simply get more comfy around hot women which most men are not. don't be insecure or needy or clingy. Move on and go out meet some other girls. Right ?? yes ?

For instance, Say you talk to 5 women everyday. that's 35 for a week. Say outta those 35,15 actually respond to you. and out of those 15 maybe 6 give their phone no/email to you. Out of those 6 if you manage to befriend even 2. It isn't that bad is it ? Meeting the right woman/man is a rather complicated and hard working process. Don't wish for the lime if you can't do the time. It's not that fucking tough now is it ? And i almost forgot. Never under any circumstances take advice from a woman about a love interest or about how to get yourself a girlfriend....

a saturday afternoon siesta that couldn't be ....

2006-11-05T04:15:00.000+08:00

if i have to spoil a perfectly wonderfully sunny Saturday i don't need to do much. Just call one of my special group of 'friends' and hang with them. Unfortunately in spite of realising the potential dangers, i did the exact same thing today. famousinsecureguy and i have been friends since we were hangin around thinkin up ideas together during our teenage years. Once we were quite close but his fame and self destructive ways and my blatant refusal to agree with them, resulted in a wide uncomfortable silence filled valley between us. Today we happened to meet. As usual we decided to drink (i drank juice, thank you thank you).

After we had asked each other the state of our ventures and the health of our families there was a silence you could see with your eyes full of red chillies sitting in Lebanon.

inexile : hmm, you look sad !

famousinsecureguy : just tired !

inexile : blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

inexile : blah blah blah blah yada yada yada hmm yada aha blah !!

famousinsecureguy : she cheated on me !

inexile : hm ? (actual thots : woah no)

famousinsecureguy : the fakeangelrealslut cheated on me ! everyone liked her so much !

inexile :...

famousinsecureguy : i trusted a girl after many years ! and i thot this was it ! i can't believe she would be such a bitch ! I am gonna ignore her ! see she's calling me non stop now ! but this is it ! how can people do this ?
inexile : how long was she with you ?

famousinsecureguy : she wasn't really with me, but i wanted to be with her soon

inexile : if she wasn't with you how can she cheat on you ?

famousinsecureguy : coz she always used to go everywhere with me and we were acting like a couple and i held her hand and drove her everywhere and we had such nice dinners and she used to hug me so nicely and i could feel it in her eyes ! blah blah..

inexile : who did she fuck ?

famousinsecureguy : she did not ! she kissed someone else and exchanged numbers !

inexile : who ?

famousinsecureguy : the badrepsinger guy ! he called me and told me ! i am so thankful to him ! he told me they exchanged numbers too ! he saved me in time !

inexile : so she kissed one of your good pals ! maybe he made a pass on her and initiated it !

famousinsecureguy : i don't know anything anymore ! i am just not gonna take her call !

2 hours many beers later !!

famousinsecureguy : do you think maybe i should call her ? or at least reply to her sms ? maybe i shud really send her a 4 page long very rude sms ? what do you think ?

inexile : let me type it for you !

famousinsecureguy : yeah tell her how she broke my heart and how this was so bad and i will never trust her again and she is history and i really wanted to be with her but she did this bad thing and now i can't trust anything again and tell her i hope she has fun with that guy and all the other men she wants to be with ! and that i am not peaceful and this disturbs me a lot !

inexile typed : Back off bitch !!

**

Fill in the blank : the bottom line of this post is that _________________ .

Pissed off:fuck the shut up

2006-11-03T15:42:00.000+08:00

i am poor. yes i am very poor now. No i am not talking poor as in "i'll have to settle for a porche instead of a Ferrari" poor. Or even "i'll go to Venice and not Monte Carlo for vacations" poor. I am talking oh my god how the fuck will i eat next month poor ! So i sat down , doing the finances, something i hate doing. I started with downloading softwares. To manage my finances. Spent a few hours doing that, some pretty softwares i tell ya. downloaded some widgets. Still nothing. Ok 4 hours down and still zero.

Yep, eventually i sat with pen and paper and my credit card bills. It was amazing.98% of the charges on my statement are from clubs and pubs. I drink. I really drink. i don't think i am an alcoholic but i really drink. I spent a lot of money buying meself drinks. Day before at a party at least 4 people commented about how fast and i drink and how frequently i need to get myself drinks. Yest at a party i drank a whole bottle of vodka alone.

I have always been confident that i can't get addicted to things and can leave em when i desire. and i have done it a lot of time in the past. The more confident i am the more i drink since i know i can't fall. Even when i am tipsy, i stand straight, i drive, i play guitar and joke. i am in my senses. but off late, now realise, i really fucking drink a lot. 3-4 beers are just starters for me. then i drink whiskey and vodka and more beer all in one single setting.

So after taking a look at my bank statement and my state i have decided to stop drinking all together. Last night in a tipsy stage i talked to chinesegirl and yummylips when both of them happened to call me. I was happy. They were happy. I don't like this. Alcohol depresses me. Tho i don't get a hangover ever, i wake up in a low down state. I need new non drinking friends too. since most of my friends also reallyy drink. Most are proud of their good taste when it comes to booze. ok NO DRINKS.

**

Guys like drunk chicks. They are easy. But what's the point ? she won't remember you in the morning or the conversation you had and honestly,ask yourself if you really want to screw a intoxicated body ?

Drunk Girls will want to do a whole lot of things. things usually they won't when they are sober.But in my opinion its a lose all situation for everyone. Why would a guy want to go to a club and pick up a drunk chick ? Even if you just want to get a one night stand, it;s not just sex. It's a whole lot of other things that happen that add to the magic right ? how the fuck do you expect magic when both of you are intoxicated or even if one of you is. And i always notice party girls (that's my term for regularly drunk chicks) complaining how they can;t find good guys and how sex is so bad and blah blah. You are getting hammered and then getting fucked how the fuck do you expect magic ?

OK this post is a rant,but men should stop taking the easy way out. and go fucking learn how to seduce women. it's not fucking marine biology. and chicks please stop getting drunk to get the courage to do things. If you can't get the courage go buy a fucking dildo or become a nun. Most men suck in bed anyways.....

i was just passing by thought i'd..

2006-11-01T13:45:00.000+08:00

way too much has happened in the past few weeks.good bad and the good. Day by day i think that i simply have too many women in my life. A fact i was once shamelessly proud of, but now i don't give an ant's balls ! Chinese girl has moved to another city and i am thankful i couldn't tolerate her anymore. After she played lots and lots of mind games with me i stopped all contact with her and when she called me my response was "what the fuck do you want ?"

A dinner date was promptly fixed by her at her place the following night where i went on to fuck her brains outta her head. she's quite a cute bitch naked and i like the way she moans. nothing beats a good horny girl on a comfy bed. By the time she was ready to leave the city, she had fallen for me and i still get all mush in her text messages. however that's over. At best i might visit her if i go to her new city. Book closed. she annoyed me quite a bit.

in other related stories, the girl who i mentioned in the last post, yummylips was tamed a few weeks ago too. The setting was her place. i never bring the girls over to my place, they might stalk if they become obsessive. and with the kind of girls i keep on meeting I'd rather not take this risk. yummylips is one of those girls who really need to get intoxicated to get the courage to fuck. I have never seen anyone roll so much hashish in a single night. joint after joint, i felt like i was having sex with a fucking Afghan hashish farmer. This was possibly the worst sex of my life. She is quiet like a mouse. she rolls her lips and shuts her mouth when i am pounding her. And worse !!! she orgasms in 3 minutes. Her body is shaking and shivering like it's a fucking vibrator and she just cums all over. Instantly !!! i realised this after doing it 3 times and boy oh boy.. i didn't know what the fuck else to do the rest of the night. she of course kept smoking the hashish. I was mighty glad to get outta that crack-hole in the morning.

yummylips called me yesterday, she asked me why haven't i called her since that day. It was quite embarrassing to talk to her. For some reason she got pissed at me. Jesus. why can't i find simple sensible nice women ?? i seem like a fuckwit , fucking women and not calling them, but gimme one reason why i should ?

Model girl with a sexy voice, who i had stop texting, called me the other day. She told me she had been travelling and couldn't call me. But after yummylips i don't know if i am ready to fuck another crack whore or not. she does sound so sweet and sexy tho, and it's mighty tempting. and lastly smarthoteuropean girl , has stopped all contact with me. for some reason. I can't quite figure it out. Too bad, her loss !!

It's amazing how in spite of meeting so many women i still can't find someone to capture my heart, at least for a while. As much as i love to be a player, i don't think i am enjoying it. i really am not. why i do it ? simply coz' i am lonely in this stranger town, and the only people i know are these girls, so i fuck. Off late i have been talking on the phone to loveofmylife. I still love her and i have a hunch she harbors feelings too. in fact i just receive a text from her, after i didn't call her for 3 days. I want her. and i know that she is the one. I don't know how or when will we be together. I have dreams to pursue and she wants to fly. Don't know i am confused ? should i go and win her back now ? should i wait ? too much water crossed over the bridge ! everyone i know say she's a bitch and they will find me somebody else new. But only i remember how we used to walk and everyone wanted to be us...But i know my friends care. oh motherfucking whatthefuck arghhh !! somebody gimme a fucking gun !! The only good thing is that all this sadness and longing for someone helps me write better songs at least...